Quit Your Job, Take That Dump And Make Sure You Move In With Your
Boyfriend Before You Go To See Jesus #CrazyExGirlfriend #CW #Musical
#AhStalking
All pictures courtesy of the CW
Well, I'm going straight to hell for that title. As I wrote it, I
thought, "ooo, should I really write that? It's kinda
sacrilegious, but I am guessing that Jesus does know about the
endocrine and excretory system since, you know, he's kinda God and he
created it, so... there's that. But what about the show?"
Last night's Crazy Ex-Girlfriend (#CrazyExGirlfriend) led with
Rebecca overanalyzing what Josh said last week. Admittedly, I did not
watch last week's episode as I was just too busy with writing and all
of the other shows. I was debating whether I'd continue watching it,
but I figured that I should do a recap of something different and
since this was on first, there you go.
The word was "very" and the overanalysis depended on what
Josh meant when he said that he was attracted to/liked Rebecca very
much. Her sounding board of two fat Asian guys doing her no good,
Josh just happens to pop up and uses the word very a bagillion times
(I counted), diminishing its importance. But in that casu' run-in he
mentions his family's upcoming Thanksgiving dinner bonanza. Everybody
and dey mama (not their mothers. Don't proper English it up) was
going to be there. Mostly Asians and Valencia (Josh's hot
girlfriend), I was and am always surprised when Snoop Dogg doesn't
show up randomly when people start listing how many people are
attending an event.
Excuse my sidetracks as this was a very ridiculous episode. While
Greg contemplates quitting his job at the bar to go back to business
school, graduate (because I guess going to college and actually
graduating is en vogue now) and make something of himself outside of
West Covina, he has to worry about taking care of his dying father.
Sharing his problems with Rebecca, she too shares her problems as her
coworker Creepy Paula (yes, I have nicknamed her Creepy Paula) has
convinced her that she needs to worm her way into that Thanksgiving
Extravaganza after hearing that Josh's parents don't particularly get
along with Valencia. Clearly both of their problems are on the same
level.
Paula, the true mastermind behind the "crazy" in Rebecca's
life discovers the Asian market where Josh's mom shops and takes
Rebecca there to do a surprise meet and greet. She meets the mom and
after Paula's info dump about her background, Josh's mom is
thoroughly impressed. She's invited, holy crap! After that, possibly
the funniest song I've seen on the show yet breaks out as Rebecca
prepares for the party, bragging about how she "gives good
parent."
Meanwhile, Greg follows through and quits his job Jerry
Maguire-style, even telling his boss about his bad breath as the guy
cheers him on for striving to make something of himself and escape
the hole-in-the-wall. Unfortunately right as he quits, his father
suffers a setback in his health, leveling up his illness like a
character in Street Fighter. Unlike Street Fighter this is a bad
thing, not to mention a pricey one, causing him to go crawling back
to his job where not only does he learn that every employee does the
big quitting scene but he also has lost his seniority privileges and
has to work on Thanksgiving where he does a song about West Covina
being not good enough for him.
Back at Josh's parents' house, Rebecca knocks it out of the park with
his parents: showing cultural awareness and sensitivity, being
charming, being funny and showing up Valencia at every turn. Creepy
Paula, meanwhile, shares a Thanksgiving dinner with her family where
she has rigged a button to Rebecca's Stepford Wives' waspy sweater
outfit so she can watch everything that's going on with Rebecca. Not
to talk bad about the actress or try to call out feminine beauty
standards or whatever, but did anyone else think she totally had elf
ears with her hair back like that? Was that on purpose? It didn't
look good and I got distracted with the continual thought of
Christmas.
 |
| Santa's Helper? She even wore red. Come on! |
Speaking of distractions, after downing so much Asian food, Rebecca
had to run to the master bathroom to "drop off the kids."
Ready to take a load off, she hears Josh and Valencia come into the
room and argue about how she is showing Valencia up trying to steal
Josh away in front of his family. The argument getting heated, it
suddenly turns to sex. So much creepiness there, Rebecca
listens/watches as the two of them have sex with a house full of
family and friends. Daring not to take her dump--big health risk, by
the way--she escapes after their extended sex romp only to hear him
ask Valencia in front of everyone if she would move in with him. Of
course the lady orange says yes after which the entire family goes to
church. While Rebecca is invited, she doesn't go because she has to
go and relieve herself, and she is very Jewish.
She returns to her place just in time and cops a squat. My question
at that point: Was Creepy Paula really about to watch her take a crap
not once, but twice? She was very interested in seeing whether
Rebecca would make it there or not; it was her Thanksgiving Day
suspense thriller. Frankly, both women need to be committed. The
episode ended with Rebecca and Greg having a Netflix and chill night
with Greg falling more in love with her, but there being no "chill."
How you gone you have pillows and blankets and popcorn and Netflix
but no chill? You know that ain't right. Even the color of the
blankets, his shirt, her entire clothing ensemble and the low-glow of
the TV screen could not match the overwhelming blueness of his balls.
She's got Super Saiyan Friendzoning powers (80s cartoon DBZ).
What did you think? Are you still rooting for her to see the great
relationship she could have with Greg? Is Creepy Paula creeping you
out as much as she is me? And what has been your favorite song of the
series so far? Let me know in the comments below (hint: click the no
comments button if you see no comments).
Check
out my new 5-star comedy novel similar to Crazy Ex-Girlfriend,
Yep,
I'm Totally Stalking My Ex-Boyfriend.
#AhStalking
If
you’re looking for a scare,
check #AFuriousWind, #DARKER, #BrandNewHome or
#ThePowerOfTen.
For those interested in something a little more dramatic, check
out #TheWriter.
The full first season is out now NOW exclusively on Amazon. If you
like fast action crime check out #ADangerousLow.
The sequel A New Low will be out in a few months. Join us on
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blog with that Google+ button to the right.
Until next time, "there once was a
girl. Her name was Felicia. And indeed we did say bye to her. And
that was the story of Felicia."
P.S. I thought long and hard about that sign-off. I was going to try
to say something clever, maybe fit in a comment about Becky and that
Sir Mix-a-lot song and how often Rebecca Bunch shakes it. But in the
end, I couldn't pull it together. I swear next time my sign-off will
not only be better, it'll actually make sense.
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