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Tuesday, November 17, 2015

Quit Your Job, Take That Dump And Make Sure You Move In With Your Boyfriend Before You Go To See Jesus #CrazyExGirlfriend #CW #Musical #AhStalking

Quit Your Job, Take That Dump And Make Sure You Move In With Your Boyfriend Before You Go To See Jesus #CrazyExGirlfriend #CW #Musical #AhStalking

All pictures courtesy of the CW

Well, I'm going straight to hell for that title. As I wrote it, I thought, "ooo, should I really write that? It's kinda sacrilegious, but I am guessing that Jesus does know about the endocrine and excretory system since, you know, he's kinda God and he created it, so... there's that. But what about the show?"

Last night's Crazy Ex-Girlfriend (#CrazyExGirlfriend) led with Rebecca overanalyzing what Josh said last week. Admittedly, I did not watch last week's episode as I was just too busy with writing and all of the other shows. I was debating whether I'd continue watching it, but I figured that I should do a recap of something different and since this was on first, there you go.

The word was "very" and the overanalysis depended on what Josh meant when he said that he was attracted to/liked Rebecca very much. Her sounding board of two fat Asian guys doing her no good, Josh just happens to pop up and uses the word very a bagillion times (I counted), diminishing its importance. But in that casu' run-in he mentions his family's upcoming Thanksgiving dinner bonanza. Everybody and dey mama (not their mothers. Don't proper English it up) was going to be there. Mostly Asians and Valencia (Josh's hot girlfriend), I was and am always surprised when Snoop Dogg doesn't show up randomly when people start listing how many people are attending an event.

Excuse my sidetracks as this was a very ridiculous episode. While Greg contemplates quitting his job at the bar to go back to business school, graduate (because I guess going to college and actually graduating is en vogue now) and make something of himself outside of West Covina, he has to worry about taking care of his dying father. Sharing his problems with Rebecca, she too shares her problems as her coworker Creepy Paula (yes, I have nicknamed her Creepy Paula) has convinced her that she needs to worm her way into that Thanksgiving Extravaganza after hearing that Josh's parents don't particularly get along with Valencia. Clearly both of their problems are on the same level.

Paula, the true mastermind behind the "crazy" in Rebecca's life discovers the Asian market where Josh's mom shops and takes Rebecca there to do a surprise meet and greet. She meets the mom and after Paula's info dump about her background, Josh's mom is thoroughly impressed. She's invited, holy crap! After that, possibly the funniest song I've seen on the show yet breaks out as Rebecca prepares for the party, bragging about how she "gives good parent."

Meanwhile, Greg follows through and quits his job Jerry Maguire-style, even telling his boss about his bad breath as the guy cheers him on for striving to make something of himself and escape the hole-in-the-wall. Unfortunately right as he quits, his father suffers a setback in his health, leveling up his illness like a character in Street Fighter. Unlike Street Fighter this is a bad thing, not to mention a pricey one, causing him to go crawling back to his job where not only does he learn that every employee does the big quitting scene but he also has lost his seniority privileges and has to work on Thanksgiving where he does a song about West Covina being not good enough for him.

Back at Josh's parents' house, Rebecca knocks it out of the park with his parents: showing cultural awareness and sensitivity, being charming, being funny and showing up Valencia at every turn. Creepy Paula, meanwhile, shares a Thanksgiving dinner with her family where she has rigged a button to Rebecca's Stepford Wives' waspy sweater outfit so she can watch everything that's going on with Rebecca. Not to talk bad about the actress or try to call out feminine beauty standards or whatever, but did anyone else think she totally had elf ears with her hair back like that? Was that on purpose? It didn't look good and I got distracted with the continual thought of Christmas.

Santa's Helper? She even wore red. Come on!

Speaking of distractions, after downing so much Asian food, Rebecca had to run to the master bathroom to "drop off the kids." Ready to take a load off, she hears Josh and Valencia come into the room and argue about how she is showing Valencia up trying to steal Josh away in front of his family. The argument getting heated, it suddenly turns to sex. So much creepiness there, Rebecca listens/watches as the two of them have sex with a house full of family and friends. Daring not to take her dump--big health risk, by the way--she escapes after their extended sex romp only to hear him ask Valencia in front of everyone if she would move in with him. Of course the lady orange says yes after which the entire family goes to church. While Rebecca is invited, she doesn't go because she has to go and relieve herself, and she is very Jewish.

She returns to her place just in time and cops a squat. My question at that point: Was Creepy Paula really about to watch her take a crap not once, but twice? She was very interested in seeing whether Rebecca would make it there or not; it was her Thanksgiving Day suspense thriller. Frankly, both women need to be committed. The episode ended with Rebecca and Greg having a Netflix and chill night with Greg falling more in love with her, but there being no "chill." How you gone you have pillows and blankets and popcorn and Netflix but no chill? You know that ain't right. Even the color of the blankets, his shirt, her entire clothing ensemble and the low-glow of the TV screen could not match the overwhelming blueness of his balls. She's got Super Saiyan Friendzoning powers (80s cartoon DBZ).

What did you think? Are you still rooting for her to see the great relationship she could have with Greg? Is Creepy Paula creeping you out as much as she is me? And what has been your favorite song of the series so far? Let me know in the comments below (hint: click the no comments button if you see no comments).

Check out my new 5-star comedy novel similar to Crazy Ex-Girlfriend, Yep, I'm Totally Stalking My Ex-Boyfriend. #AhStalking
If you’re looking for a scare, check #AFuriousWind#DARKER#BrandNewHome or  #ThePowerOfTen. For those interested in something a little more dramatic, check out #TheWriter. The full first season is out now NOW exclusively on Amazon. If you like fast action crime check out #ADangerousLow. The sequel A New Low will be out in a few months. Join us on Goodreads to talk about books and TV, and subscribe to and follow my blog with that Google+ button to the right.

Until next time, "there once was a girl. Her name was Felicia. And indeed we did say bye to her. And that was the story of Felicia."

P.S. I thought long and hard about that sign-off. I was going to try to say something clever, maybe fit in a comment about Becky and that Sir Mix-a-lot song and how often Rebecca Bunch shakes it. But in the end, I couldn't pull it together. I swear next time my sign-off will not only be better, it'll actually make sense.

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