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Monday, September 21, 2015

Arnold Schwarzneggar is the new Trump, They canceled Under The Dome, NBC Cannibalized Hannibal and other Crazy stuff that happened this summer Season #SummerRoundUp

Arnold Schwarzneggar is the new Trump, They canceled Under The Dome, NBC Cannibalized Hannibal and other Crazy stuff that happened this summer Season #SummerRoundUp

I’m back! For the... two or three of you readers out there, no, I haven’t died. Like most TV shows over the summer, I took a hiatus. Why, you ask? Many reasons. First, I had to get some work done. Pretty much the entire summer was eaten by the first season of The Writer (#TheWriter) out now, season finale this Friday.

That project took a lot out of me as I had forgotten how hard deadline writing can be. I had half the season done and suddenly, bam! A month and a half dissipated and I had only added three episodes. At one point, I even had to shut down my other social networking to finish. Thankfully, I had a good outline and a few scripts remaining from the original TV pitch. Again, if you haven’t checked it out, please do. It is slow-building, but I would say it is comparable to TV shows and books like Game of Thrones and Breaking Bad.

I also was quite busy with my garden this summer and maybe I’ll get around to posting a few pics of my veg garden if I have time (currently I’m in the middle of the final edit of my comedy novel “Yep, I’m Totally Stalking My Ex-Boyfriend” due out in early October, #AhStalking). You’ll get to see all of my insect and furry friends that visited and pestered me in my garden.

Also, later on this year, I’ll be releasing my first full-on mystery novel The Knowledge of Fear (#KnowFear) about the annual slaying of three young girls in a small town in northern Ohio and the detective thrown into the melee of paranoia and danger. Currently re-tooling it as I initially sent it to publishers and they said it started too slow (you readers can be the judge of that).

And finally, I’ve made contact on the twittas. No, not alien contact but followers and cool people contact. One such contact I’ve made was with a friendly woman named S. M. Dahman. An author in her own right, (her first book Twisted Greens is out here: ) she just recently interviewed me for an author spotlight on her blog here:  . As I don’t tend to blog too often about writing and rarely talk about myself because of my overwhelming humility, I would highly recommend you visit there if you are an aspiring writer or looking for good blogs and other ways to connect, and you currently want to know a little more about me.

Now, to the topic at hand. So much stuff happened this summer. The hottest recorded summer in history happened. There were fewer comic book movies this summer than we’ll ever see for the next five summers. AMC premiered a new spin-off show from the Walking Dead called Fear The Walking Dead. And... and... and... Oh, all the excitement is making me want to break into song with my own rendition of The Sound Of Music’s “Favorite Things.”
Republicans started their run for high office,

Stock Market traders took really big losses,
Avengers was so-so, and Ant-man was, meh!

That doesn’t stop me from loving Marvel.

Hank Baskett got high and touched some girl’s penis,

Picture courtesy of WETV's Marriage Boot Camp

Kermit dumped Piggy and proved she’s the greenest,

Picture courtesy of ABC's The Muppets

Drake went back-to-back, Meek wan-ted to know,
And sweet Kylie Jenner turned into a h—uh... a, uh... very respectable young lady. Yep. That’s what she turned into. Role models, those Kardashians. Back to the song!

There were fires,
Huge ass earthquakes,
Droughts along the coast,
All these things that happened in 2015, and also Aquarius.

Picture courtesy of NBC's Aquarius

Spielberg used Brad-bury to give us The Whispers,
Tom Cruise did plane stunts and this chick wore flippers,

Picture courtesy of Bravo's Below Deck

Nene was re-placed by the lat-est trend,
Man, I ne-ver wan-ted sum-mer to end.

Trump proved great TV and Tinder proved sexist,
Dinosaurs sent Universal to excess,
Some Mex-i-can guy had a 19 inch schlong,

Picture courtesy of TMZ

This guy’s micro-penis inspired a song!

Picture courtesy of Lifetime's Atlanta Plastic

Astronaut’s Wives,

Then Wayward Pi-nes,

Both made good TV,
This was a recap of the season we had, in summer twen-tyyyy, fif-teeeennnn!

Woo! Good, right? And you kept up with the beat? What? You didn’t like the song? It was too short for you? Oh, so I didn’t cover enough events, huh? Now you’re gonna complain that I didn’t actually sing it, and that if I sung it and recorded it, then put it on here that would have made for a better blog post? Teh! You know, you people are so difficult to please some times. Sometimes, I wish I could just build some sorta structure to keep you less desired readers from reading my blog, but I don’t know how I would do that. Maybe I could get you to build it. It would be really tall, and long and it would be a... what’s the word I’m looking for? Right, a dome. It would be a dome.

Speaking of domes, CBS took theirs down, canceling Stephen King’s Under The Dome after three seasons. While I enjoyed the first two seasons (even though they veered from the book wildly) I can’t say I liked the third as much. Things got too crazy with the baby and Barbie acting all doting father. It just got weird.
James Patterson’s Zoo didn’t do much better, taking a good concept but never really doing much with it in my opinion. Those animals should have been eating more people. And what about the wolf guy? They set him up as this mysterious dude that knows stuff and then killed him off-screen, so you think his killer will be this big baddie, and then they kill him next commercial break! They had the big black guy whose been in everything lately and is the TV version of Michael Clarke Duncan, yet we never see him fighting a bear or some other massive animal—though I am behind two episodes.

I enjoyed Astronaut’s Wives Club for what it was as did I enjoy Wayward Pines which was right up M. Night’s alley, steeped in that creepy The Village vibe. At least this time they had real monsters.
Jurassic World was good but a box office bigger than the first? Whoa! Slow it down, world. Slow it down. Even with inflation and all that stuff, I didn’t think it was the all-time classic that the first one was. At least it was no Terminator Genisys which felt like it diminished the star quality of everyone involved, including Arnold. It makes me wonder how the hell he got the job for the next host of The Apprentice when Diddy and Russell Simmons were both available New York candidates and minorities, if the rumors about NBC were true.

A slew of movies came and went without a peep but Straight Outta Compton was a crazy little movie about Dre and Ice Cube, following the group called N**** With Attitude. It made a ton of money and is even being talked about for a sequel.

What’s not being talked about for a sequel is NBC’s Hannibal, another big cancellation of the season. They had finally caught up to Thomas Harris’ first book and covered the Red Dragon only to see the two Murder Husbands jump off a cliff together and old Bedelia jealous and stood up for dinner—or, I mean, not stood up. Sorry, that’s insensitive. I meant Hannibal always stayed a step ahead. No, that was a tasteless joke. I can’t seem to stop putting my foot in my mouth and—oh! I’ll just move on.

The weather has been a complete mess everywhere. It got up to 165 degrees in Iran, wildfires and dust storms swept across Cali and Arizona, and the crazies both here and abroad brought the violence and sadism.

Still, plenty of good stuff came from the summer. Serena got back with Drake (though, she promptly lost what would have been a history-making match), the Braxtons finally started working on an album together, Uptown Funk really gave it to us, and we finally cured the world of Iggy Azalea. So, as we head into the fall, we leave summer 2015 with a few lingering questions:

How long will this charade with Trump and the Republican party last? When will that Lexus hoverboard actually hit markets? Why does the Weeknd sound so much like Michael Jackson on certain songs and then nothing like him on others? When will Kanye West start preparations for his presidential run? What in the hell really are those? Was Girl on The Train that good of a book? And why in the hell won’t The View just die already?

Hopefully we’ll have these answers soon. Until then, as always, check out my books on Amazon (if you’re looking for Halloween scares check #AFuriousWind, #DARKER, #ThePowerOfTEN or #BrandNewHome). For those interested in something a little more dramatic, check out #TheWriter. The final episode of season one of The Writer is coming this Friday. All other 14 episodes are out now, available exclusively on Amazon. Join us on Goodreads to talk about books and TV. Subscribe to my blog and leave your comments below.
Until next time, “Jumpman, Jumpman, they gave me my own collection, woo!”

P.S. OK, I may have been listening to the new Drake and Future mixtape while typing this. Still working on my sign off! I’ll get it eventually.

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