Ladies And Gentlemen, Our First New Show Renewal #Blindspot #DVRRewind #NBC #Renewed

Ladies And Gentlemen, Our First New Show Renewal #Blindspot #DVRRewind #NBC #Renewed

All pictures courtesy of NBC 

So, I'm switching up things a little as I'm doing a DVR rewind slightly earlier than usual by doing it in the middle of the week. Technically by the time you read this, it'll be Thursday and not Wednesday which is when I'm writing it, but who cares about semantics. It's time to talk the latest episode of Blindspot.

But first the big news. After weeks of trying to figure out if Jane Doe was really what the American people wanted, and giving into a full season order for the freshman crime procedural drama, NBC executives finally pulled the trigger and renewed Blindspot (#Blindspot) for a second season. For fans of the show this is clearly great news. Not only do we and all of you late comers get to see Jane/Taylor's journey play out for longer than a year, we also get to obsess over what each tattoo means and the will they/won't they dichotomy between her and Weller. So again, if you haven't seen the show and are looking for a new show to watch that you know won't be canceled anytime soon, then you might want to use some of the upcoming Thanksgiving and other Holiday time not just shopping but bingeing on the first half of the season and see if you like it. There's also my Blindspot three week roundup post which you can access by clicking the tag Blindspot at the bottom of this article.

Now, on to the actual episode. This week's episode saw the group tackling another corruption scandal. Picking up mid-scene from the previous episode, Agent Weller and his boss who's named Bethany (a black Bethany? Well, I never met one but I'm sure they exist) discuss the secret program she was a part of a long while ago. Code-named: Daylight, it is revealed in flashbacks as she tells him about it that it was a joint program between the FBI, CIA, and the White House Political Director (uh, what?), led by the President's Chief of Staff. What it did was compile a mass of illegally obtained data that posed actionable threats in the form of terrorism or other criminal activity. Essentially it was the Patriot Act on steroids, spying on the American people to protect them from the few evil-doers.

Begrudgingly agreeing to use the program, Weller's boss needed a way to launder the illegally obtained info so that it would appear legal. She created a fake snitch story and pinned it to an already known criminal that they caught last week. Incensed by his mentor's law-breaking, Weller stays upset the entire episode which, frankly, isn't that much of a difference in his facial expression as any other time--when will this dude start smiling more? With that in the back of his mind and flashbacks of the genesis and use of the program sprinkled through the episode, Weller must focus on figuring out the next case.

For a brief moment, the writers tease us with a potential case that has nothing to do with Jane's tattoos when two cops are shot dead in the street. A message written in blood (or possibly just red paint) reads "Butcher the Butchers." The loving term "Butchers" is used for the street name for the cops of the 65th NY precinct as just last year the cops set off a racial riot when one of them gunned down an unarmed black man. Though some of the cops got fired, everyone was on high tension in the neighborhood ever since. Now with the cop murder and the Butcher nickname used, they think it's a revenge killing. And, oh yeah, Jane had a tattoo of a butcher's knife with 65 written on it and surrounded by what first looked like sniper crosshairs.

The normal jockeying for power between the Feds and the cops aside, Weller and his crew take over the case and talk to the man's partner. While interviewing her, they realize that the cops all wear body cams in that precinct as part of the pilot program before rolling it out nationally. Using the footage from the dead man's body cam, they find a scuffle between him and a pro footballer (the American kind). They track him to his house where he is throwing a party filled with scantily clad women. Naturally, he runs, they pursue, Jane tackles him.

Back in interrogation, he tells them that the cop tried extorting him after catching him sleeping with a man a week earlier (he was still snugly in that closet). The man wanted 50,000 from him every month.

As it turns out, the footage on the body cams logs to a computer any cop can access, meaning the dead cop wasn't the one looking at and using the footage. Figuring out that the crosshairs on Jane's tattoo aren't from a gun scope but a camera, they discover that two other officers were behind the extortion who they go to ply the man's widow for anything she might know.

A big shootout at the woman's house ends one cop's life and puts the other in the hospital. But wait, the twist which I saw coming from a mile away, was that it was really all orchestrated by their captain, who Bethany takes out with a strategic car crash as they ride to see the hospitalized officer. Congrats all around, the show winds down with Bethany flashing back one last time to see the glory of her bad wig as the Political Deputy woman committed suicide after growing a conscience. Surprise, they were in love with each other and the Politico wanted to run away to Hong Kong. Somebody finally pointed out that Jane has been wearing the same crusty clothes more than Bill Cosby wears sweaters (now if we can change up that hair too), the other FBI agent who made a deal with the CIA deputy knows he holds the power and Weller took a huge step toward forgiving his father by having a drink with him. Next week looks pretty good. Hopefully it leads to an explosive mid-season finale.

What do you think? Were you as tired of seeing Jane wearing the same sweaty white under-tank too? Do you think blonde computer tech girl will get back with her nerdy boyfriend? Will Weller ever trust his boss again? Let me know in the comments below (hint: click the no comments button if you see no comments).

Check out my new comedy novel Yep, I'm Totally Stalking My Ex-Boyfriend. #AhStalking

If you’re looking for a scare check #AFuriousWind, #DARKER, #BrandNewHome or  #ThePowerOfTen. For those interested in something a little more dramatic, check out #TheWriter. The full first season is out now NOW exclusively on Amazon. If you like fast action crime check out #ADangerousLow. The sequel A New Low will be out in a few months. Join us on Goodreads to talk about books and TV, and subscribe to and follow my blog with that Google+ button to the right.

Until next time, "so you have a closet full of poorly worded hipster tees?"

P.S. Sure, Jane's shirt is far from a hipster tee, but she wears it in both an ironic and utilitarian manner. They don't give her enough money for clothes? Wait, are they even paying her? Huh? I'll think of something better next time.

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Sickness And Re-Birth #AmericanHorrorStory #AHSHotel #DVRRewind

Sickness And Re-Birth #AmericanHorrorStory #AHSHotel #DVRRewind

All pictures courtesy of FX 

As NaBloPoMo pushes forward (more on that later), I find myself nearly overwhelmed with all of the writing. Today is someone important's birthday and I can't sit and write all day. But I will try to sneak in a blog post before I have to stop and give all my attention to them.

This week's DVR rewind is once again American Horror Story Hotel (#AHSHotel). Like any good fan, I've been keeping up every week with my DVR (sometimes I can't watch it live because I have to write or am watching something else), and man has it become crazy. Vampires galore and ghosts killing people in deadly ghost parties, and Angela Bassett still looking fine at her age (side note: I have a little crush on Angela Bassett. So what, it's not a crime!). They're throwing a lot of movie motifs and tropes at us and though we've seen and read plenty of them before, they feel fresh.

After last week's discovery that her son was still living (sorta) in the Hotel Cortez with Lady Gaga as his new mom, Alex the nurse married to the detective agreed to become a "vampire" just like her son so she could be around him forever. This week's episode "Room Service" opened with her not yet conformed to the full effects. A sickly dead look on her face, she works to cure the boy with measles and holistic parents. Near death because his parents neglected to give him a measles vaccination, Alex does the dumbest thing ever and pumps the boy's IV full of some of her own blood after gorging on a few packets locked in storage. Now watch this stupid chick next week as she tries to convince Gaga that she didn't know what would happen. If she says that I will give her the most severe side eye the world has ever known. With the child first appearing fine, hell breaks loose as the mother takes the boy home and suddenly things start turning very Salem's Lot-ty.

The boy does in his parents the morning before going off to school on what was the school's celebration day of Halloween. Costumed up, he talks to his best female friend and gets her to sneak away to the closet in back of the room to kiss. Mind you they're only around nine or ten years old but they get caught when he bites the girl's lip and allows her to taste his blood. And so the infection begins. The teacher's throat slit, he turns his entire class, which then try gorging on another man who I can only guess was the principal. By the time it ends, every adult is dead and the vampire children have to be "rescued" by SWAT from the tall gunman wearing all black--a lie they crafted.

Meanwhile, Angela Bassett's and Matt Bomer's characters plot to bring down Queen Gaga. With Matt out of the picture as her main boy-toy squeeze, they use the next best thing, his mother. Still going through the immortal sickness herself, Kathy Bates finally drinks a blood mixture made specifically for Gaga by the cross-dressing bartender Liz Taylor. Over blood cocktails and cat food (read: liver pate) for some arrogant hipster guests, Liz reveals his story. He's not gay nor does he say he is a transgender but just a crossdresser.

Thirty years prior he had a family, a wife and a kid and either flew airplanes or was a pharmaceutical rep (did anyone else get confused by that? He said that the picture of the airplane the boy drew was wrong because he flew in a 757, right? But he also said he was a rep). One day, while on a business trip to LA, he meets Gaga as she sneaks into his room while he is having a Chaka Khan's "I'm Every Woman" moment. Completely wasting the chance for Gaga to say the words, "you're on the right track baby, you were born this way," she instead convinces him to no longer hide and walk down the hall in a negligee, fur and makeup. He does and gets caught by the guys on the business trip with him. They tease, then gay bash, then throats get sliced open by Gaga and he never goes back to his family, sending them money until the youngest kid turned 18. The takeaway: he's not a frickin' vampire or a ghost!

His bravery--or deadbeatness, whichever--inspires Kathy Bates to kill the uppity guests and feed on them as she will be visible, she will matter.

Meanwhile, the detective did nothing the whole episode but freak out about everything. Now, lately I've been feeling a little mentally slower than normal and it has concerned me greatly, but I made sure to pay close attention last night and I was quite confused on his story too. Last week after attending the murder ghost soiree (fancy word for dinner party) he ended up leaving with Blonde And Teased, Sarah Paulson's character. But when we first see him on this week's episode, he is in his captain's office complaining about doing a full building search on these people claiming to be famed killers. His reputation already fractured after a mental break suffered five years earlier, his captain can't have such behavior reflect badly on his precinct and fires dude. And I was all like, "what!?" They're firing people now because they don't want to go through the hassle of doing their own job, basically? Whoa! OK.

And as if that weren't confusing enough, his next scene had him waking in bed with blondie but not remembering it. Now, did she save him that night, take him to his room, screw the memory of sex right out of him, he went to the police station, got fired, came back to the hotel where she subsequently screwed him so good she sexed his memory out AGAIN because that's how they played it unless there was some time-jump in there I'm not aware of. Dude woke up and demanded she get out of his bed as only bits and pieces of their slap and tickle session flashed through his mind.

I had sex with who? How many times? 

I'm not really sure where his story line is going but with his wife now sleeping in a coffin with their vampire son and him not being any wiser that she's even moved into the hotel, one question I do have is who the hell is taking care of their daughter? Did that bother anyone else? I mean, you got these bloodthirsty vampire kids about to take over the city and I don't know where their other child is. And that is truly terrifying.

What do you think? Are you loving this season of American Horror Story or is it not your most favorite rendition? Do you think Angela, Matt and Kathy will bring down Gaga or are they all fated for some big weird vampire sex scene (hey, it's two ex-lovers and an old lady. I'm just saying Gaga doesn't discriminate)? And what do you think will develop from the kid vampires? Will they have to get their own rendition of Van Helsing up in there? Let me know in the comments below (hint: click the no comments button if you see no comments).

Check out my new comedy novel Yep, I'm Totally Stalking My Ex-Boyfriend. #AhStalking

If you’re looking for a scare check #AFuriousWind, #DARKER, #BrandNewHome or  #ThePowerOfTen. For those interested in something a little more dramatic, check out #TheWriter. The full first season is out now NOW exclusively on Amazon. If you like fast action crime check out #ADangerousLow. The sequel A New Low will be out in a few months. Join us on Goodreads to talk about books and TV, and subscribe to and follow my blog with that Google+ button to the right side.

Until next time, "'when there's some-thing strange in your neigh-bor-hood, who you gonna call?' Wait, do the Ghostbusters do vampires or just demons, gooey green blobs and overgrown marshmallows?"

P.S. I swear when I first saw Angela Bassett's character I thought for sure they were doing their own female take on Van Helsing which makes Gaga sorta Dracula. Come on, a Vampire infestation only has about two names on the list: Dracula and Abraham Lincoln Vampire Slayer. It's true. Better sign-off next time. You know the deal.

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Cornstalks, Bullets, And GMOs? Finally Something Close To My Heart #TheBlacklist #NBC

Cornstalks, Bullets, And GMOs? Finally Something Close To My Heart #TheBlacklist #NBC #DVRRewind

All pictures courtesy of NBC 

In a twisted episode quite near and dear to my heart in a way, last night's The Blacklist (#TheBlacklist) dealt with a villain named Eli Matchett. Not necessarily a Blacklister from Red's or the FBI's personal list, he is a homegrown terrorist who really only wants revenge on the big, evil GMO corporation. Hold on to your butts people, because this is going to be a crazy ride just in case you missed it or need a refresher.

After the daring and artfully done escape from a restaurant they sieged last week, Red and Elizabeth rode their freight container all the way to Iowa. Why Iowa instead of across the Atlantic Ocean like originally planned? Because Red is hellbent on clearing Liz's name. To do that, he must bring down the Cabal--those creepy behind the shadow controllers of everything. He wants to pin everything on the director and get Liz back on US soil safely where she no longer has to flee. Well, the best way to bring down a secretive, world-controlling organization is to bring down its funds and, as most secretive, world-controlling organizations, the Cabal has to launder their money because much of it is illegally gotten. For instance, the Illuminati's money is funneled through OPEC which funnels its money into the oil and cleans the money by selling it to the people all around the world so that every time you buy a tank of gas or turn on your natural gas-fueled power you're cleaning the money of an illegal group.

On The Hunt For The Missing Farmworker

Anyway, Red knows that a GMO corn-creating company called Verdiant is the global corporation laundering the Cabal's money. If they can bring that corporation to its knees, then they'll have the Cabal and leverage. And how do they do that? Easy, steal some corporate trade secrets. Enter Eli Matchett.

Eli is second or third or even fourth generation farmer who grew up, lived and worked on the same family farm for years until he had a legal scuffle with Verdiant. See, the corn seed Monsanto--oops, slip off the fingers, I meant Verdiant makes is too costly for the small-time farmers but in high demand. They produce faster and have genetic properties that help to fight off pests so they also produce a bigger crop. 

Unfortunately, they don't play nice with farmers and would rather drive them out of business and grow food on their own corporately structured mega-farms. Well, a while back Verdiant decided to grow some of this new GMO corn strain that hadn't yet been fully patented. Upwind from Eli's farm, when some of the strain cross-pollinated (I'm sure you farmers and gardeners are going crazy right now; yay, language I understand!) with his own strain, they sued him for patent infringement or some other legalese for supposedly stealing their GMO. What? Pure insanity!

Not only did he lose his crop from that, but he lost the farm trying to pay bills and such. The farm was bought by Verdiant and then turned into another one of those industrial mega farms. He wants that sweet Silver Queen revenge. So, he devises a plan to steal the trade secrets of the company to sell them? No, to find the GMOs weaknesses and modify the bugs that eat corn to know such a weakness. Release the bugs, kill the corn, create famine and a world food crisis in a matter of two months--yes, Verdiant's corn is grown across the globe.

Red just wants the info for the purposes described above, but knowing that an industrial farm was hit just earlier that day (how the hell does he know this? He was stuck in a shipping container with Keen the whole time) in Iowa he and Liz track this Eli man and his band of angry farmers through the fields of the great state. As it turns out, Ressler pieces together their D.C. escape and is hot on the trail of the missing cargo freight. He tracks it to Iowa where they discover that a farm had been hit earlier too and go to the house of the missing farm worker as everyone else that came in that day was dead. Converging on the same secret lab, Red and Keen make a harrowing escape as they try to get the needed data just before Ressler and the one woman arrives (damn, what is her name). They arrive to see the bugs and they know what Eli was doing.

Stopping at a diner for no particular reason other than food and to show Keen sinking farther into Breaking Bad territory as she shoots an undercover cop (she didn't know he was a cop) who identifies them, she freaks for a few minutes about the things she's done and how the man will surely die because there's probably no heart surgeons around to save him. That gets Red thinking about how this simple farmer got into contact with a bio-geneticist that would engineer a bug to attack the corn. The genius he is, he uploads some info about Verdiant back to those that still believe in him and Keen at the Blacklist HQ. He then goes to confront one of the Verdiant execs at her house. Turns out, Verdiant was steathily behind their own company's attack. They gave the farmer the geneticist to create the bugs. They already had a strain of corn even stronger and equipped against such infestations. They would get their biggest opponent killed or captured, and look like heroes when they released the corn strain as the world approached the precipice of catastrophe. Arrests all around for the Verdiant executives, surely interrupting the Cabal's money flow but not crippling it.

Tom Is Back For Yummy Asian Cuisine

And while Red and Keen remain on the run, there were a few side-stories that didn't render much: Dembe's (aka Mufasa) absence had finally been noticed by Red who called the little guy with glasses to find him. He's still being held in an abandoned factory somewhere. Keen's ex came back to chat with Ressler about finding Liz. Ressler says no and lets him leave but Harold Cooper goes to him with a proposition at the end of the episode. And that proposition is... stay tuned for next week's The Blacklist.

What did you think of season 3, episode 4? Did you want something more out of the Cooper/fake Keen meeting? Were you shocked that only now did Red realize his right hand man was gone? How did he know about the theft before he knew about that? And who was that other person they threw into the room with Dembe? Let me know in the comments below (hint: click the no comments button if you see no comments).

Check out my new comedy novel Yep, I'm Totally Stalking My Ex-Boyfriend. #AhStalking

If you’re looking for Halloween scares check #AFuriousWind, #DARKER, #BrandNewHome or  #ThePowerOfTen. For those interested in something a little more dramatic, check out #TheWriter. The full first season is OUT NOW exclusively on Amazon. Join us on Goodreads to talk about books and TV, and subscribe to and follow my blog with that Google+ button to the right side.

Until next time, “Even though we have won this battle, we have already lost the war."

P.S. Is that from a great literary work of fiction or nonfiction? Do you know? A mystery is a foot my dear reader. I'll come up with a better sign-off next time.

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Who knows? The Shadow knows. #SleepyHollow #DVRRewind #FOX

Who knows? The Shadow knows. #SleepyHollow #DVRRewind #FOX

All pictures courtesy of FOX

What a busy week for me. Not only was I doing the last dot your i's and cross your t's edit on Yep, I'm Totally Stalking My Ex-Boyfriend (#AhStalking) out now, I had so much TV to watch, some fall gardening to do, and some other books to read on top of all the blog entries and other news I had to keep up with, let alone my exercise routine. So much stuff that I'm hitting you all with not just one but a few DVRRewinds this weekend and I still have yet to decide if I'm going to do one for The Flash's season premiere or the third week of Nashville. Too. Many. Shows. But, I'm trying to juggle as much of the entertainment world as I can right now so bare with me as I get to some of the stuff I missed.

For this week, I have Sleepy Hollow (#SleepyHollow) in my DVRRewind. That's right, I am one of the few millions that still watch and enjoy Sleepy Hollow even after they killed Orlando Jones (aka the Black guy), brought him back to life, turned him evil and killed him again all in one season! Ahh! They killed the Asian dude in the first season and they killed Ichabod's wife last season after turning her evil too, which I found to be straight disrespectful but I digress. Anyway, they returned with their season premiere on Fox last week and I hadn't gotten around to watch the first two episodes until last night. Interestingly enough, their move to FOX Thursdays at 9pm hasn't effected them in the ratings that much as they were always a lower-rated show. With FOX being cancel-happy with anything new and out of the box that doesn't involve people under the age of 24 (fingers crossed for Minority Report?), I'm surprised this has stayed on for as long as it has.

Pandora's so evil and a hell of a gardener

Moving on to episode two, this week saw Ichabod dealing with another conjured minion of Pandora (yes, the one with the crazy box for those of you not initiated into the insanity of this show. I ain't got time. Look it up!) From what we learned in the season opener, as the two witnesses supposedly prophesied in the bible, Ichabod and Abbie have only gone through one test of seven (complete mess of the Revelation prophecy but we've all accepted that at this point). Now comes their second test, Pandora. After the strange fear-paralyzing creature she summoned last week, this week she hit them up with a shadow creature that surrounds you with darkness and extracts from you, in your state of horrified petrification, a deep secret. This often leads to your death in some way as the two men the shadow performed this on died from a heart attack or a car accident.

While I enjoy this show, I will say that this is one of the most ebb and flowing shows I've ever seen on TV. It will be incredibly hot one week and incredibly cold the next. That being said, I enjoyed the season premiere more than I have most season premieres from my other established favorite shows. This week's episode seemed like the biggest throwaway episode I've seen since Breaking Bad's fly episode (I know it was supposed to be a metaphor but whatever). Though this shadow is supposed to be extracting secrets from people, the show never really gets around to revealing what those secrets were, concerning itself instead with Ichabod and Abbie's secrets, which is fine, but makes me wonder why the heck Pandora sent the shadow after the other three people in the first place.

Then there's Abbie's sister doing this dance of "caring" with the long-dead sheriff's son who just surfaced to look through his dad's things. What? The sheriff literally got beheaded by the headless horseman on the first or second episode of the series... back in 2013. Not only that but the premiere featured a time jump of nine months since their last adventure in season two's finale. It has got to be at least a year and a half after his death. Why is he here now? Sure, he made brief appearances in the past but one would think that he could have either moved on by now or they would have made him a series regular long ago. Doesn't seem quite right for him to be around now. Anyway, he got kidnapped in exchange for an artifact--the eye of Anubis, I believe--and Abbie's sister rescues him.

Finally, they have the newest Black guy love interest that networks seem to be plug and playing, Lance Gross. I say that because last year Grey's Anatomy on ABC inserted him as a 4 or 5 episode love interest for Meredith's sister. Now he's in as the new head over Abbie in her FBI post (a big step up from when she was at the deputy's office) even though they went through Quantico together. Is she gonna hit that at some point in the season? I would say yes, because if there has been anything more noticeable in this show than how little sex Ichabod and Abbie have each had, it is... uh. Well, there isn't anything more noticeable on the show than that.

So far Pandora has caused nothing but trouble, which now that I think about it is her main thrust but that's all she's done. Outside of sending a shadow monster easily defeated by calling out his name Marcus Collins (can you believe that? Yeah, that's his name. Marcus Collins. That's just as bad of a name for an evil being as Gerald was for the furry foot-eating monster that lived under my bed when I was little), she's shown off not a hint at a plan outside of growing a tree. Basically Pandora is Johnny Appleseed only more evil. A bad episode? Can't say it was their best, or even close to their average. It was below average, but that just means that next week's will probably blow me away.

What did you think? Do you watch this show? Are you happy with the way it's going with Abbie and Ichabod both getting new love interests and keeping away from each other's bed? What do you think Pandora has in store for them? Let me know in the comments below.

As always, check out my books on Amazon (if you’re looking for Halloween scares check  #AFuriousWind,  #DARKER, #BrandNewHome or #ThePowerOfTen). For those interested in something a little more dramatic, check out #TheWriter. All 15 episodes are out now on Amazon.

And check for my latest book, a comedy entitled Yep, I'm Totally Stalking, My Ex-Boyfriend (#AhStalking) available only on Amazon (look for a post about it later today). Join us on Goodreads to talk about books and TV, and subscribe to and follow my blog with that Google+ button to the right.

Until next time, “my daddy still alive? What? ”

P.S. Was anyone else's mind blown when Abbie said her father was still alive? Yeah, neither was mine. As with most absentee father's he's become just some old guy sitting in a park, feeding the birds. Wait, there were no birds? Aww, that's even sadder.

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I Present To You Lady Monster... But Where's That Plot, Though? #AmericanHorrorStory #AHSHotel #DVRRewind

I Present To You Lady Monster... But Where's That Plot, Though? #AmericanHorrorStory #AHSHotel #DVRRewind

All pictures courtesy of FX unless otherwise stated

"Ooo La! Oo la Ga-ga! Ooo La! Oo la Ga-ga!" Wait, those aren't the words to Lady Gaga's "Judas" song? Well, how am I supposed to know that, I'm not her biggest fan--Paparazzi--but I am a fan. I'm just trying to give her that thing that she wants... you know, applause. Is that enough Lady Gaga song references or do you want more? I know everyone else has done it already but I can't help it, I was born this way. Leave me alone!

Anyway, American Horror Story came back for its fifth season, American Horror Story: Hotel (#AHSHotel). And with the absence of Jessica Lange--you dear sweet woman whom we'll miss forever--someone had to take over as lead monster. Enter Lady Gaga. But before we get to her fantastic starring role, we have to backtrack through a little non-plotting, plot.

What's the basis of Hotel? Similar to seasons past of the popular horror anthology series the producers have been very sparse on details. Though there has been talk of vampirism in some form, an earthly entrance into hell and even purgatory, none of that has been outright confirmed. All we know as of this moment is that the Hotel Cortez is haunted by a host of baddies sure to maim and disgust. We also have word (and have seen in previews of this season) that a few of the past favorite characters from prior seasons will make an appearance in the hotel that guests check in but never check--what? Oh, so you're saying I shouldn't make that joke because it's too easy. Fine, I won't write it, but I'm definitely thinkin' it.

A little character background, we have Kathy Bates playing the front desk check-in lady, Wes Bentley playing a creepy looking detective (though that just might be his normal face), Matt Bomer playing Lady Gaga's lover/Bates' son, Denis O'Hare playing a cross-dressing chain-smoker, Lady Gaga playing the boss of everything and Sarah Paulson playing... uh, Debbie from the Thornberrys?

Picture courtesy of Nickelodeon and The Wild Thornberrys

Is that...? No, she's supposed to be a blonde version of Selma from the Simpsons, right?

Picture courtesy of FOX and The Simpsons

Well, whoever she is supposed to be that hair is teased to death, literally as it is revealed she is dead or at least should be after the fall she took at the hands of Bates' character. That's at the end of the episode.

I know, I'm jumping ahead again, but to be fair, this season started off with a very strange feeling. Unlike in seasons past, it felt like it had very little plot. Leeway is always given to the season premiere of any show as it sets up the rest of the season, but because this is an anthology series and we know each season will be different, you have to set us up with what's about to go on for the next twelve episodes. And I really have no idea what to anticipate.

Granted, this can be argued for any season and there are a ton of story strands, but it spent an hour and a half kind of meandering around from character to character showing us creepy stuff with no explanation. It starts with two foreign girls entering the hotel who, despite their better judgment, stay at the hotel even though they don't want to. There's an ode to the creepy children from The Shining in a scene where one of the girls goes to get ice, and one sees a huge stain of blood on some bed sheets that are being washed outside of a patron's room. There's also an apron-wearing man a la Hostel--a testament to this season's gore factor. Then the girls cut open their stinky mattress to find a person trapped inside of it all gaunt and Gollum-like. Naturally, like any other normal human being who just witnessed a person pop from inside their mattress would do, they stay in the hotel from fear that they could be arrested. What the hell? Personally, I would have left... unless they comped me all the pillow mint chocolates I could handle, then we could at least talk about me staying. And then one of the girls gets eatin' by the devil children... or does she? I don't know as she appears in another scene later on just fine, but locked up by Kathy Bates who has this thing about druggies (her son is one and OD'd in the hotel long while back in the 90s). Sarah Paulson was his dealer/fellow smack head.

In a secondary story, Wes Bentley's detective studies the murder and torture of a cheating couple where the man is glued into the woman mid-coitus and left to bleed with no eyes or tongue while the woman is stabbed through the head. This, coupled with the rape of one of the hotel guests using a metal drill phallus and the disemboweling of two other guys seems to suggest this season will be drawing heavily from David Finch's Seven (a must see if you haven't already). Those deadly sins and commandments will get you every time. Even the beginning credits have the list of the ten commandments between such horrifying visions of people bursting from things they shouldn't be inside of. He's got a daughter and a wife but is going through some serious family strife which ultimately leads him to stay at the hotel in room 64 where the murderer says he'll strike next--seems pretty reasonable to me.

Courtesy Entertainment Weekly

And lastly, we have Lady Gaga playing the boss of everyone. She seems not to age as she was in the hotel during the 90s and the OD of Bates' son, Bomer. Now, the two of them have couples' sex with other creeptastic swingers before slitting their throats and drinking some of their blood, though most of it is wasted. She encounters Will Drake who has just purchased the hotel and presumably will re-vamp (ha! Re-vamp. Vampire? Lady Gaga is some sorta non-vampire, vampire. You get it?) much of it to his stylings and kick out the residents that populate some of its rooms. I'm supposing this will be a main plot though I'm not sure as Drake seems easily seduced, though we do know that no woman has ever had him starstruck as we learned this summer (Meek Mill is still taking losses. Sad).

There's some stuff in there about never leaving and having to feed something, but that was about it. Oh, and they ended the show with the most appropriate song in history "Hotel California" by the Eagles. I don't really know who these Eagles are but they're totally going to blow up after this. I mean, they're gonna be super famous, like maybe even legendary.

Was the first episode scary? It had a few good moments in there, definitely better than Scream Queens over on Fox. Has it lived up to Freak Show? Not yet, but there's plenty of time. We'll see.

What do you think little monsters and AHS long-standing fans out there? Did you love Lady Gaga about as much as I did? Do you think she is a good actress? Do you already miss Jessica Lange? And what the heck is up with not seeing Evan Peters (the other longest tenured cast member) on the first episode? What are your theories about what the heck is going on? My money's on the gateway to hell/purgatory where wayward souls come to vacation before either moving on or going back to haunt their old places, or a grown-up version of Hotel Transylvania. Let's see, multitude of Lady Gaga references, Seven reference, rapper Drake reference, Simpsons reference, Nickelodeon reference, so-so joke pretending that I don't know who the Eagles are--yeah, I pretty much nailed this recap. Let me know what your theories in the comments below.

As always, check out my books on Amazon (if you’re looking for Halloween scares check #AFuriousWind,  #DARKER, #BrandNewHome or #ThePowerOfTen). For those interested in something a little more dramatic, check out #TheWriter. The final episode of season one of The Writer is OUT NOW. Ahh! That’s right, all 15 episodes are out now available exclusively on Amazon. And ladies, my comedy Yep, I'm Totally Stalking My Ex-Boyfriend is out today. Get it and laugh only on Amazon. Join us on Goodreads to talk about books and TV, and subscribe to and follow my blog with that Google+ button to the right side.

Until next time, “I want your lovin' and I want your revenge. You and me could have a bad romance.”

P.S. How did they not use that song in that gruesome foursome sex scene? I thought Gaga would permeate the entire episode. Oh well. There's always next week.  

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Liz is on the run, Red is back from playing Ultron and the black guy is branching out! #TheBlacklist #NBC #PremiereWeek

Liz is on the run, Red is back from playing Ultron and the black guy is branching out! #TheBlacklist #NBC #PremiereWeek #DVRRewind

All pictures courtesy of NBC 

Boy was Thursday a crowded night for TV. If you weren’t watching something spectacular amongst the offerings, then you missed out on a hell of a lot of good programming. In the nine o’clock hour alone we had Scandal, The Blacklist (#TheBlacklist) and Sleepy Hollow, not to mention CBS’s Thursday night gridiron showdown between the Ravens and the Steelers. But if you don’t like football, don’t like a good romance, don’t like political drama, hate the paranormal and otherworldly and just plain old despise TV, chances are you might be dead. That’s OK. There’s a show called Walking Dead that I heard helps dead people rehabilitate their legs and basic motor functions. If you do like TV, then keep reading for my recap of The Blacklist.

When last we left off Elizabeth Keen had shot and killed one of the powerful white men who not only lied to her boss about him being deathly ill but concocted a plan that had her looking like a Russian spy because of who her mother was--a Russian spy. Forget the fact that she grew up in America her entire life and barely remembered her mother from her youth, according to him she had somehow been trained and placed within this secret division on purpose. This was further backed by the fact that Red asked to speak only with her when first turning himself in as he was fingered as an accomplice to her spying. For Red it didn’t much matter as he was already deemed a traitor long ago but for Elizabeth the accusation, coupled with the fact that she knew her ex-husband was alive and kept him prisoner on a boat where an innocent man died and underwent a trial because of it, threw her entire life out of order. Now, she had to go on the run. 

Picking up with her and Red in mid-flee, he used his long list of contacts to procure them a safe exit from the city. The plan: find a good hiding place, stay there for two or three weeks, visit a man that could safely get them out after such a duration and escape out of the country. That plan was ruined.

With old by-the-book Ressler getting the promotion from her partner to the temporary mobilized head of this secret task force, he went after her with gusto. Why he wanted to find her so bad is partially explored as he was also one of the people complicit in letting her escape hours prior. His so-so change of heart only came after she actually killed the evil Attorney General, a crime which doesn’t seem too bad since her old boss also let her escape (even telling her to run), her hacker coworker hates the manhunt put out on her and even her other Middle Eastern coworker (I swear I’m going to learn her name one day) isn’t thrilled about searching for her. Nevertheless, with Ressler at the helm they plan on finding her.

And find her they do. Venturing to a safe house of a man he thought he could trust, Red’s weeks of safety he planned to spend with Liz turned into minutes when the guy’s sister called the FBI on them. They ran to the Troll Farmer—the guy who is supposed to get them out—to have him create a social media buzz of tip-line sightings and location tweets all across the city. He even had a woman and man dress like Liz and Red and roam the city so traffic cams could take pictures of them in various places. The city harboring a Russian spy on the run, D.C. naturally goes into lock-down until her capture.

While Red makes it past the last checkpoint, Liz just misses it when Ressler solves their ruse and catches her transport vehicle. A traitor until the end, Red gives Ressler the name of the Troll Farmer as the guy says he doesn’t ever want to work for Red again after the difficult rush job. The name is gifted to Ressler as a sign of good faith to treat Liz with respect because both men know she’s not what people are saying she is. In a genius move, Liz adopts the accusatory story of her espionage against the US, runs to the Russian embassy and scales the fence to beg for diplomatic protection as a Russian spy.

Mufasa AKA Demba

Doing a good job at setting up two hot story arcs for the season, the second one involved African Black guy and long time Red collaborator Mufasa (not his actual character name but I like to call him that) dealing with a kidnapping of his granddaughter by another sinister evil black guy. The man returns the baby when Mufasa agrees to meet him but he says Mufasa has to breathe in a strange vapor before the mysterious group the evil guy works for gives the baby the antidote to the slow-acting poison they gave her. The big twist? The evil black guy belongs to the same organization that set Lizzy up and outranks the head of the FBI in this secret society. What mischief will he bring to the show? Only time will tell.

Mr. Solomon

For a show competing with Scandal for viewers, Blacklist gave us a strong initial showing for its season premiere and set up so many story strands that can change the entire outlook of the show that viewers have to be salivating to learn what happens next?

What do you think? Did you find the episode just as good as Scandal’s “Yes”? Are you excited to see what the heck will happen to Liz next? And where do you think that side-story with the black guy is going? Let me know what you think in the comments below.

As always, check out my books on Amazon (if you’re looking for Halloween scares check  #AFuriousWind,  #DARKER, #BrandNewHome or #ThePowerOfTen). For those interested in something a little more dramatic, check out #TheWriter. The final episode of season one of The Writer is OUT NOW. Ahh! That’s right, all 15 episodes are out now available exclusively on Amazon. Join us on Goodreads to talk about books and TV, and subscribe to and follow my blog with that Google+ button to the right side.

Until next time, “there are no strings on me. ”

P.S. OK, seriously I know probably half of you thought about Pinnochio first, which, seeing as how Ultron was completely obsessed with the character, I can see your reasoning. But was anyone else a little disappointed in how they used James Spader? He was so cheesy in that movie.

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