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Showing posts with label #AhStalking. Show all posts
Showing posts with label #AhStalking. Show all posts

Friday, November 27, 2015

What Am I Missing? #NaNoWriMo #NaBloPoMo #TMOTR

What Am I Missing? #NaNoWriMo #NaBloPoMo #TMOTR

Banner courtesy of NaNoWriMo Organization.


Three? First... 10... mine? Hmph? Oh, right. I'm supposed to be writing a post right now. The thing is I'm sort of gone in the head. It's late as I write this. It's late on Thanksgiving Day though you won't read this until Friday or a year from now (hello, future fans! Do you know the riddle?). I am almost done with TMOTR 92,000 words and suddenly I've hit a snag.

That horrid and unsettling feeling that all writers get at some point, many times on one project, even multiple times during the day, I now have. That's right, fellow writers, I have reached a point of writer's block. Don't worry, it's mild. I still have a few things I know how I want to write, but I have the sneaking suspicion I'm missing something... but what?

For starters, I rarely get writer's block anymore. I remember back in high school I used to get it all the time, even abandoning projects because it was too hard to think of the next thing to unfold. It is within those times that I think the truly committed (or crazy or both) buckle down and tell their imaginations how it's going to be, not necessarily reinvent their writing style but their process. It wasn't until my late years in high school did I start writing nearly all stories nonlinear-ly. Don't get me wrong, most of them unfold in a linear progression, but as I've said before, I write what I can write when I can write it. Then the multiple stories thing came in during college. Sometimes I would work on up to eight projects at a time. I really hope that doesn't sound like bragging, I'm just saying what works for me. Rarely have I ever broken from this accept for in one recent case while finishing my epic serial novel Unrequited due out sometime next year.

#KnowFear

To be clear, I haven't had writer's block on a novel or screenplay literally in three years. Now? Something is missing I'm sure of it, but I can't figure out what? For the month I pushed aside my usual routine, working only on the novel and the blog to try completing the #NaNoWriMo and #NaBloPoMo challenges. So far, it's slowed my novel progress but I still think I'll finish, but I can't shake that feeling. TMOTR is a mystery. I don't often write straight mysteries. I have one coming out soon entitled The Knowledge Of Fear, but that's not for a few months. So, since I am stuck for the first time in a while, I turn the floor over to you subscribers and casual readers. Leave a comment below or send me a tweet on Twitter and tell me what you think makes a great mystery. Or tell me what you think the basic structure of a mystery even is. Sometimes, I wonder if I'm even writing a mystery at all. I don't know.

Anyway, hope you all had a great Thanksgiving and if you are one of those people who happened to venture beyond your front door into the shopping culture of America for Black Friday deals, you can also leave a comment about what you got or if you really found any deal actually worth the effort. Tomorrow, expect my gardening post finally. I'll be writing that right after this one.


Check out my new 5-star comedy novel, Yep, I'm Totally Stalking My Ex-Boyfriend. #AhStalking
If you’re looking for a scare, check #AFuriousWind#DARKER#BrandNewHome or  #ThePowerOfTen. For those interested in something a little more dramatic, check out #TheWriter. The full first season is out now NOW exclusively on Amazon. If you like fast action crime check out #ADangerousLow. The sequel A New Low will be out in a few months. Join us on Goodreads to talk about books and TV, and subscribe to and follow my blog with that Google+ button to the right.

Until next time, "gobble, baby. Gobble, baby. Gobble, baby, gobble!"


P.S. If you get that dance song reference make yourself forget it so that brain power can be focused into something else like learning a new language or figuring out how to get every last squeeze of meet out of those sausage roll packages. Every single time there's a little bit of meat still left over after I squeeze and squeeze. Eh! I'll think of a better sign-off next time.

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Tuesday, November 24, 2015

Constructing A Bestseller #NaNoWriMo #NaBloPoMo #TMOTR

Constructing A Bestseller #NaNoWriMo #NaBloPoMo #TMOTR

Courtesy of the NaNoWriMo organization. 

I will probably never do this again! Goodness, this is a lot of work. No, not the NaNoWriMo (#NaNoWriMo) alone, nor THE NaBloPoMo (#NaBloPoMo) alone but combining them is a lot. Don't get me wrong, I have written plenty of stuff in a month or less before--it's kind of my average for a full-length novel--but never have I had to do the posts every day too, coupled with the garden clean-up. MAN, November is just such a busy month for me. Is there any way we can move this to January when it's longer, there's less happening (no Thanksgiving means no Thanksgiving travel), not to mention it's actually snowing then and more people are snowed in and missing school or their other work because of the weather? Seriously, the NaNo people should look into that. Just imagine the rush of energy writers will feel from completing a book at the beginning of the year. Major bragging rights for the rest of the year, but I digress.

This Monday, as I am writing this, I am up to about 80,000 words and still have somewhere between 20 and 30 thousand to go. The book I'm writing--you know, the future bestseller that I told you about in my first NaNo post--is a mystery and it has a lot of moving parts to it. Oh, and remember that hashtag up top, #TMOTR, cause in about a year it will be everywhere, ON everything. Seriously, I cannot stress enough how big this book will be, people.

Courtesy of the BlogHer network.

Having now come to the hard part of writing for me, I am faced with the near insurmountable task of having to cobble together the sequence by which what I've written should actually go in the book. Revealing a little more of my writing process as talked about on my Twitter-friend and fellow author S.M. Dahman's blog, when starting a book, I just write. I have the details of what I want in the story, I have a basic structure of how it goes, I have THE plot from start to finish, and I have a few clear visions of scenes. Starting with the easiest scenes, I push forward and I don't stop until I hit a wall where I have to stop to force myself to think of how to get from point A to point Z (usually the ending is one of those things written first).

I have nearly reached that point. Now, I'll most likely spend a few hours trying to slot the things I've written into where it should go, shaving off what can and can't fit so that the transitions are smooth. Because it's a mystery, I actually will keep a hint of confusion for the reader to feed into the overall aura of the book; everything else must flow. Hopefully I can make that happen for TMOTR and still produce a bestseller. Remember that success starts first with convincing yourself that it's possible, then convincing the world, sometimes one person at a time. When you read this book about this ROOF, you'll know that I succeeded at convincing not only myself, but you as well.

What about you, fellow writers and readers? Writers, are you reaching any of your goals to finish a book or get to a particular word count or scene count (that's important too, as some stories needn't be long but every scene impactful)? Are you already finished or trying to rush to the finish line? And how do you feel about your finished draft? Is it good or did you just slop some words together just to say you did?
What about you bloggers out there? Are you succeeding at the post-a-day for the month of November or did you miss a day or two? How do your readers/subscribers feel about the onslaught of posts? Are you ready to go on vacation from blogging? I sure am.

Well, wish me luck on completing these two challenges as I'll probably be working a little on Thanksgiving too. Anyway, let me know what you're writing/reading in the comments below (hint: click the no comments button if you see no comments).

Check out my new comedy novel Yep, I'm Totally Stalking My Ex-Boyfriend now a 5-star rated comedy novel. #AhStalking 
If you’re looking for a scare check #AFuriousWind#DARKER#BrandNewHome or  #ThePowerOfTen. For those interested in something a little more dramatic, check out #TheWriter. The full first season is out now NOW exclusively on Amazon. If you like fast action crime check out #ADangerousLow. The sequel A New Low will be out in a few months. Join us on Goodreads to talk about books and TV, and subscribe to and follow my blog with that Google+ button to the right.

Until next time, "you want me to do what?"
'Read a book!'
"Fine!"
'And picture books don't count!'
"What hell is this?"


P.S. I like that sign-off. Gosh, I might keep that one. It's just such a long conversation, though. Maybe I can fix it in the editing process. I'll see if it works for the next time.

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Tuesday, November 17, 2015

Quit Your Job, Take That Dump And Make Sure You Move In With Your Boyfriend Before You Go To See Jesus #CrazyExGirlfriend #CW #Musical #AhStalking

Quit Your Job, Take That Dump And Make Sure You Move In With Your Boyfriend Before You Go To See Jesus #CrazyExGirlfriend #CW #Musical #AhStalking

All pictures courtesy of the CW


Well, I'm going straight to hell for that title. As I wrote it, I thought, "ooo, should I really write that? It's kinda sacrilegious, but I am guessing that Jesus does know about the endocrine and excretory system since, you know, he's kinda God and he created it, so... there's that. But what about the show?"

Last night's Crazy Ex-Girlfriend (#CrazyExGirlfriend) led with Rebecca overanalyzing what Josh said last week. Admittedly, I did not watch last week's episode as I was just too busy with writing and all of the other shows. I was debating whether I'd continue watching it, but I figured that I should do a recap of something different and since this was on first, there you go.

The word was "very" and the overanalysis depended on what Josh meant when he said that he was attracted to/liked Rebecca very much. Her sounding board of two fat Asian guys doing her no good, Josh just happens to pop up and uses the word very a bagillion times (I counted), diminishing its importance. But in that casu' run-in he mentions his family's upcoming Thanksgiving dinner bonanza. Everybody and dey mama (not their mothers. Don't proper English it up) was going to be there. Mostly Asians and Valencia (Josh's hot girlfriend), I was and am always surprised when Snoop Dogg doesn't show up randomly when people start listing how many people are attending an event.


Excuse my sidetracks as this was a very ridiculous episode. While Greg contemplates quitting his job at the bar to go back to business school, graduate (because I guess going to college and actually graduating is en vogue now) and make something of himself outside of West Covina, he has to worry about taking care of his dying father. Sharing his problems with Rebecca, she too shares her problems as her coworker Creepy Paula (yes, I have nicknamed her Creepy Paula) has convinced her that she needs to worm her way into that Thanksgiving Extravaganza after hearing that Josh's parents don't particularly get along with Valencia. Clearly both of their problems are on the same level.

Paula, the true mastermind behind the "crazy" in Rebecca's life discovers the Asian market where Josh's mom shops and takes Rebecca there to do a surprise meet and greet. She meets the mom and after Paula's info dump about her background, Josh's mom is thoroughly impressed. She's invited, holy crap! After that, possibly the funniest song I've seen on the show yet breaks out as Rebecca prepares for the party, bragging about how she "gives good parent."


Meanwhile, Greg follows through and quits his job Jerry Maguire-style, even telling his boss about his bad breath as the guy cheers him on for striving to make something of himself and escape the hole-in-the-wall. Unfortunately right as he quits, his father suffers a setback in his health, leveling up his illness like a character in Street Fighter. Unlike Street Fighter this is a bad thing, not to mention a pricey one, causing him to go crawling back to his job where not only does he learn that every employee does the big quitting scene but he also has lost his seniority privileges and has to work on Thanksgiving where he does a song about West Covina being not good enough for him.

Back at Josh's parents' house, Rebecca knocks it out of the park with his parents: showing cultural awareness and sensitivity, being charming, being funny and showing up Valencia at every turn. Creepy Paula, meanwhile, shares a Thanksgiving dinner with her family where she has rigged a button to Rebecca's Stepford Wives' waspy sweater outfit so she can watch everything that's going on with Rebecca. Not to talk bad about the actress or try to call out feminine beauty standards or whatever, but did anyone else think she totally had elf ears with her hair back like that? Was that on purpose? It didn't look good and I got distracted with the continual thought of Christmas.

Santa's Helper? She even wore red. Come on!

Speaking of distractions, after downing so much Asian food, Rebecca had to run to the master bathroom to "drop off the kids." Ready to take a load off, she hears Josh and Valencia come into the room and argue about how she is showing Valencia up trying to steal Josh away in front of his family. The argument getting heated, it suddenly turns to sex. So much creepiness there, Rebecca listens/watches as the two of them have sex with a house full of family and friends. Daring not to take her dump--big health risk, by the way--she escapes after their extended sex romp only to hear him ask Valencia in front of everyone if she would move in with him. Of course the lady orange says yes after which the entire family goes to church. While Rebecca is invited, she doesn't go because she has to go and relieve herself, and she is very Jewish.

She returns to her place just in time and cops a squat. My question at that point: Was Creepy Paula really about to watch her take a crap not once, but twice? She was very interested in seeing whether Rebecca would make it there or not; it was her Thanksgiving Day suspense thriller. Frankly, both women need to be committed. The episode ended with Rebecca and Greg having a Netflix and chill night with Greg falling more in love with her, but there being no "chill." How you gone you have pillows and blankets and popcorn and Netflix but no chill? You know that ain't right. Even the color of the blankets, his shirt, her entire clothing ensemble and the low-glow of the TV screen could not match the overwhelming blueness of his balls. She's got Super Saiyan Friendzoning powers (80s cartoon DBZ).


What did you think? Are you still rooting for her to see the great relationship she could have with Greg? Is Creepy Paula creeping you out as much as she is me? And what has been your favorite song of the series so far? Let me know in the comments below (hint: click the no comments button if you see no comments).

Check out my new 5-star comedy novel similar to Crazy Ex-Girlfriend, Yep, I'm Totally Stalking My Ex-Boyfriend. #AhStalking
If you’re looking for a scare, check #AFuriousWind#DARKER#BrandNewHome or  #ThePowerOfTen. For those interested in something a little more dramatic, check out #TheWriter. The full first season is out now NOW exclusively on Amazon. If you like fast action crime check out #ADangerousLow. The sequel A New Low will be out in a few months. Join us on Goodreads to talk about books and TV, and subscribe to and follow my blog with that Google+ button to the right.

Until next time, "there once was a girl. Her name was Felicia. And indeed we did say bye to her. And that was the story of Felicia."

P.S. I thought long and hard about that sign-off. I was going to try to say something clever, maybe fit in a comment about Becky and that Sir Mix-a-lot song and how often Rebecca Bunch shakes it. But in the end, I couldn't pull it together. I swear next time my sign-off will not only be better, it'll actually make sense.

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Tuesday, November 3, 2015

How Long Can This Crazy Music Last? #CrazyExGirlfriend #PremiereWeek #3WeekRoundUp

 How Long Can This Crazy Music Last? #CrazyExGirlfriend #PremiereWeek #3WeekRoundUp

All pictures courtesy of the CW


Where to begin with this show. One of the last premiere week/three week roundups I will be doing (with the exception of Supergirl and maybe Wicked City), this one is coming a little late as my computer and I weren't on the best of terms last week and because I had to wade through all of my emotions about this show. As a quick reminder for those of you who want my initial thoughts on this show, I would point you to a post I did earlier concerning the release of my book Yep, I'm Totally Stalking My Ex-Boyfriend (#AhStalking). But if you don't want to click that link then let me give you a brief refresher.

My initial thoughts on the CW's only new show for the fall season were not exceptionally good or bad. Actually, they were a mixture of "meh" and "dang it! Not again!" The last sentiment came from the fact that my book covers virtually the same topic (more on that later). Funny enough, if I hadn't written the book over a year ago and decided to edit it as my first comedy to come out after the summer's The Writer, I might not have been interested in this show at all. But after having my mojo and dignity questioned by a few young ladies, I had to step back and wonder about whether I was still current enough to be entertaining in the slightest or if I had just happened upon the wrong audience for the past decade or so. So, with Crazy Ex skewing younger and being a comedy written by women but for everybody, I figured that at least I could see what some ladies find funny... if the show proved successful.

Well, sigh. There's so much here to talk about that I truly don't know where to begin. I know I say that a lot in these reviews, but this one is legitimately all over the place. First, as I mentioned twice already, my book is pretty much on the same thing and was the only reason I tuned into the show. While I would love to not be so self-involved and not throw one big advertisement for Yep in your face, it would be nearly impossible for me to talk about the show without mentioning the book. I'll try to keep the mentions to a minimum, but no promises.


Why Is Josh So Dreamy?

Crazy Ex-Girlfriend starts Rachel Bloom as Rebecca Bunch, a genius Harvard and Yale-educated lawyer (refer back to my post on Limitless to see my thoughts on TVs never-ending crop of geniuses). Like every other genius, she is really good at what she does but finds that her life is a total wash outside of her work. One day, after seeing a butter commercial that asks her when the last time was that she was happy (poorly worded sentence. Moving on), she remembers that she was the happiest when she dated an Asian guy ten years ago back in summer camp named Josh Chan. As if by some miracle, she runs into him on the streets of NYC and learns that he is moving to West Covina, California, a small town about thirty minutes outside of LA (I lived there for a while back when I was homeless; trust me, you can make it to downtown LA on the I-15 in thirty minutes depending on the time of day). As the namesake implies, she is crazy enough to quit her job after receiving a half a million dollar promotion, jump a plane and fly across country to try to be with Josh Chan. No sure thing! No back-up plan! Nothing! Just a "we'll see what happens!"

In West Covina, she finds a job at a local law firm in the town (again, she could have found one in LA but no), she goes to a local bar where she runs into a bartender friend of Josh, her coworker points out that she might be crazy and then just dismisses it as her being in love and she discovers that Josh already has a girlfriend who is super attractive and who he has been with off and on since they were children. In fact, this girlfriend of his, Valencia, was around since their summer camp days ten years ago when Rebecca and Josh were 15 or 16-year-olds. This lady has staying power. Not to mention she does yoga as seen on the second episode.

The first episode ran through many of the typical stalking motifs: she texts excessively, she runs into him by accident and he's weirded out by her sudden presence in California, she stalks him to a party where he doesn't show, etc. At the end of the night, after having spent much of her time with the bartender who instantly liked her from the moment she walked in, she and her coworker sing about the awesomeness of love after she realizes and then un-realizes that she is crazy. Rather than tell the girl to get help, the woman agrees to help feed her fantasy like a good friend would do. The one problem I had here is that it comes off as creepy and kind of insincere that the woman suddenly wants to help her. They haven't been friends for years, she barely knows this girl, she's clearly quite a bit older--why would she suddenly nod her head at helping this Rebecca girl claim this guy. The relationship didn't feel organic.

I Know We Just Met But Surprise, I'm Crazy Too

If I'm being honest, neither does the relationship she has with the bartender Greg. The moment he meets her, he tries sleeping with her which isn't far from reality, but the way he does it feels so slimy; yet, he is portrayed as the good and decent guy she should be with. There's no overreaching connection and even after seeing their first official date on the fourth episode, I still don't feel a chemistry between them. Something about Greg makes me think he's gay every time I look at him. I know, some fans of the show will jump on me and say "just because he's a sweet guy doesn't mean he's gay or anything like that." I know. I get that. I have been the sweet guy many times in my life. But for me, some of the most iconic sweet guys were Ross and Chandler from Friends. Even though there may have been jokes about Chandler, I never thought either character was gay. Greg feels like the gay best friend not the love interest we all hope she falls for in the end.

The second episode dove deeper into the psyche of Rebecca and its fractured state. After seeing Valencia and Josh kissing, she sets out to befriend her ex-boyfriend's girlfriend so she can copy everything about her which she believes will win Josh. Valencia, just like all beautiful women, struggles to keep female friends and accepts Rebecca as her new potential bestie. Rebecca's plan goes awry when she kisses Valencia in the middle of a club when Josh and Greg join the women for a night out. She then blurts out that she used to date Josh which sends the overly jealous Valencia into a rage causing her to ban Josh from any future contact with Bunch unless supervised by a third party.

Are You As Confused As I Am?

This all leads to the third episode in which Rebecca throws a house party in hopes of luring Josh to her place and circumventing Valencia's rules while the woman isn't in town. Surprisingly, this goes well when Josh comes to the party and manages to use his powers of cool Asian-ness to turn the pathetic gathering of losers into a real fly kick-back. Greg came because he's stalking Rebecca almost as much as she is stalking Josh, though I can't figure out why. And we also meet Rebecca's psych major neighbor who wants to "study her" because she's fascinating. In the fourth episode this translates into the nihilist neighbor actually recording observations of her strange behavior and wanting to befriend her out of... pity?

What's my grade? Deep sigh. I have to currently give this a C. Let me backtrack for a moment and go over a few things. First off, I know that many of the fans of this show probably would like my book which is hard because alienating a potential customer is never good, but I have to be honest here. I think the show suffers from a few problems. The chief problem is probably the tone and pacing.

A little history of the show, Crazy Ex-Girlfriend was originally slated to air on Showtime as a half hour comedy. I guess Showtime ordered a few episodes but then saw the pilot and decided to pass. This left the producers in a hell of a predicament. For starters, they had to expand 30 minutes into 60. Sure, commercial breaks factor in, but often Showtime shows aren't a full 30 minutes either. The first two episodes were noticeably drawn-out. Don't get me wrong, I often have plenty of long scenes in my books, especially in Yep, but they have to keep moving at a steady pace. The show didn't pack every second with a joke or with character building. Certain parts fell flat. For instance, the convenient store scene in the second episode where Rebecca sees Valencia for the first time could have had 30 seconds shaven from the entire sequence and it would have made such a difference. The dialogue, while good, is not always delivered snappy enough so it almost feels like the character is working through a joke as they say it. And boy are those commercial breaks long as hell. It feels like they're coming up two minutes short each week so every break has to be 30 seconds longer. This improved slightly by episode four.

Another thing, the silence. Listen, I've always defended laugh tracks on the multi-camera comedy. But I also can enjoy the no laugh track of the single cam when done right. What I find most often, however, for a great deal of single cam shows is that they not only remove the laugh track but they cut down on the filler sounds and cue-ing tones that help to fill the dead space when no one is talking. Outside of the musical numbers, sometimes I could barely hear any ambient sound in the background of scenes crowded with people. It made the show feel like a show rather than a glance into someone's life. The best example I could give is of the Bernie Mac Show (one of the pioneers of this single cam one-hour comedy). When he sits down to talk to America, there was often some music in the background, not overpowering but there in order to offset the undertones in his voice. I'm not going to treat any reader like an idiot but I don't have time to explain this. However, sound engineers instinctively know how to fill the dead space without being overbearing.

Everybody's Singing!

Speaking of sound, the music is pretty much all original pieces, which is both good and bad. Bad for the reasons mentioned above. Good because it shows the creativity of the writers. But you'll have a hit and miss each episode. I actually didn't like the "Getting Ready Song" as much as I did the "West Covina" song of the first episode. And neither came close to the "Yoga" song of the second episode. Interesting enough, though the songs were a clear selling point if you've seen any of Rachel Bloom's online stuff, they have yet to find a harmony with the show. "West Covina" notwithstanding, nearly every other song seemed like it was either a pre-conceived funny music video that was stuffed into the show or overshadows the show and current plot with its catchiness. In other words, some songs feel as if they are just there and others feel as if an entire episode or situation was written around them just so they could use that funny device (hey, I've done it before. Plenty of writers do it. It happens).

Finally, the characters. Everyone seems to be a caricature or is not even attempting to be a real human making the ebb and flow of the show confusing at times. Is the fact that Greg is instantly obsessed with her, and Paula (her coworker) is willing to help her supposed to convey that we are seeing this entire world from her mentally unstable point of view, or are they just as unstable? Or is the show trying to subvert her mental illness and "craziness" by making everyone around her seem crazier, and by default making her look less crazy? This, in part, seems to be the case as her craziness is pitied by the neighbor and bolstered into a "this is actually normal behavior" thought process. Thinking about it, at least she spent real time with Josh, albeit ten years ago. Greg had no prior knowledge of her, yet he lusts after her but hasn't conveyed any sense of love at first sight. To be clear, my other book Unrequited is all about me falling in love at first sight with a girl. There's an overwhelming sense of "oh my god, my world has changed forever." Greg just seems to be hanging around in hopes of getting that pity sex when Josh finally wises up and coldly turns her down.

Nice Guy Bartender Greg. Gay Best Friend? 

And speaking of Josh, did they have to make him a bit of an idiot? Contrary to the title song of the show, I think her craziness is made to be less nuanced because of his lack of any true attractiveness outside of his physical looks. He's sort of a nice guy but he was also begging Rebecca to lie to his girlfriend about having dated ten years prior. This dynamic alone confuses the "this is actually normal behavior and we're all a little maladjusted" message. If he had something legitimately going for him or the man and woman were shown on equal footing, the viewer might feel more inclined to sympathize with her plight. I get the whole "they're opposites" thing but it feels more like the show is reinforcing the crazy stereotype rather than subverting it and making viewers consider the meaning behind such language.

And for the part I was actually dreading, my comparison with my book. Honestly, there are tons of similarities between the book and the show, which actually rather ticks me off, because long story short I had some stories stolen from me a long while back and have been paranoid ever since. But stuff like: the other girl being into Yoga, the protagonist being a smart but quirky adult adolescent, selfies, twitter, etc. All of it is in the book. Don't want to spoil anything but even the parents are similar, which makes me wonder if I dislike or hate my own book. Of course, it's all slightly different and from what I've seen I approach lost love and mental instability from a different angle while still trying to toe a delicate line of funny and heartfelt, but who knows if I succeed, either.

Should you be watching? Hell, the real question is for how long can you watch. The ratings for this show have been abysmal. Yes, Monday at 8pm is a tough slot, especially with no lead-in as critical darling Jane the Virgin comes on at 9pm, but these ratings are... man! Crazy didn't even premiere to a million viewers. It weighed in just shy at 950,000... out of 310 million people in the US. It has a 0.8 share in the 18-49 demographic. The numbers went up the second week but then they went down the third to 860,000. I'm not even sure that the people who watch this show know about this show. Bear in mind, The Flash gets 4 million viewers weekly which is good for the CW. Arrow gets even more. But to not even have a million people watching the show and to have it premiere late and for Supergirl on CBS to now have its premiere which is also geared toward a younger and female audience, I'm really not sure if it can survive. And in fairness, I can't recommend you watch a show when I have a feeling it might get canceled and you end up with TV heartbreak (it's real). Granted, the one lone saving grace of this is that even though it is the lowest rated show on the channel currently, it is still on the CW. They aren't too quick to expel shows and they blew half their fall season advertising budget on this show, so it would be hard to just walk away. But I can't see advertisers staying much longer if the ratings don't jump at least to 1.2 million by Thanksgiving. If you love this show, you have to tell everyone you know. Shameless plug, the book might be better (Yep, I'm Totally Stalking My Ex-Boyfriend).


What do you think? Have you heard of this show? Have you seen it? If so, will you continue to watch? What was your favorite song? Let me know in the comments below (hint: click the no comments button if you see no comments).

Check out my new comedy novel Yep, I'm Totally Stalking My Ex-Boyfriend. #AhStalking
Check out my scary reads: #AFuriousWind, #DARKER, #BrandNewHome or  #ThePowerOfTen. For those interested in something a little more dramatic, check out #TheWriter. The full first season is out now exclusively on Amazon. Or check out the crazy, action-packed crime novel #ADangerousLow. The sequel A New Low will be out in the coming months. Join us on Goodreads to talk about books and TV, and subscribe to and follow my blog with that Google+ button to the right side.

Until next time, this has been another blog post.


P.S. That sounded way cooler in my head. I was thinking I was going to have this cool sign-off specifically for NaBloPoMo (National Blog Posting Month where you do a post a day), but that didn't work out at all. That was just as bad as all of the rest of them. How am I ever gonna get through this month with such bad writing? Eh! I'll think of something good, I know it.

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Sunday, October 11, 2015

NEW NOVEL: Yep, I'm Totally Stalking My Ex-Boyfriend goes against CW's Crazy Ex-Girlfriend. Wait, is this a competition?

NEW NOVEL: Yep, I'm Totally Stalking My Ex-Boyfriend goes against CW's Crazy Ex-Girlfriend. Wait, is this a competition? #AhStalking #CrazyExGirlfriend 


So many wonderful and heart-wrenching things to say, I don't know where to start. OK, so I have a new book out now, like, now! Like, really, at this very moment at this very second as it is in heaven NOW! And yes, it is my first full-on comedy though I like to think that all of my books have some comedic elements, some darker than others. But now, just as it is coming out, I am torn. Torn! I'm torn about even having released it. Why? Because of the dreaded copycat syndrome. First, let me break it down for you like Special K, Ozone and Turbo in the 80s movie Breakin' (you don't know that reference? I ain't got time. Look it up!).

I'll explain my book first since it is my blog and it just came out, beating Crazy Ex-Girlfriend literally by a few days time. That's the cover you're seeing up top. What's it about? The title is pretty self-explanatory, but I'll give you a little more.

Cass Clinton is a 32-year-old ad agency worker living in Chicago who just broke up with her super amazing, totally Ken doll-ish boyfriend Kyle in order to push forward in her career. But less than a year later when things start to fall into place for her on the work front, she realizes just how lonely she is when not crowded around her goofy and immature group of best friends. An adolescent at heart and in action herself, she sets out on a short-lived adventure to find herself a new man. But after disastrous nights into the new dating field, she realizes that she wants her boyfriend of five years (six unofficially) back. Now, in order to get him back and steal him away from his current girlfriend--that blonde yogi bimbo--she must resort to listening to that little devil-voice every person develops when they think they're madly in love. Now, she must stalk him and get him back at any cost.

A story of friendship, love and realizing what you really want, Yep takes the reader on a comedic journey through the horror that one faces when realizing that they've possibly made the biggest love mistake of their lives, and what they'll do to fix it.

Is it rom-com? Eh! I can't say it's got a lot of romance but it does try to make you laugh while dealing with a subject that is not only not PC but can make anyone squirm just to think about it. Stalking? Really? Did I have to go with that title? Yes. Don't judge the book before you've read it.

Pictures courtesy of the CW

But wait, what about Crazy Ex-Girlfriend? In my earlier #PremiereWeek post, I said that I would cover if I had any excitement about seeing this show. Seeing as how it is the only new show on the schedule for this first round of October premieres for the CW, I have mixed feelings about it. In Crazy Ex-Girlfriend, Rachel Bloom (total YouTube star) plays a young businesswoman (lawyer, I think) who isn't satisfied with her life. Weirdly, like everyone else in this world, she wants to be happy. Well, whether through chance or karma or her own disturbed imaginings, she runs into an old love of hers Josh Chan. Technically, he was only her boyfriend for a summer at camp near ten years ago but as Asian guys tend to do, he clearly rocked her frickin' world (that's why Asian guys always get the girl in the movies). But oh no! Josh is moving from NYC to West Covina, California (hey, I actually lived there for, like, a month). Naturally, Rachel's character quits her dream job, hops a plane and moves--not just visits or vacations, because visits and vacations are for quitters... so, is spitting so I hear--across country to get back with him.

Dreamy Josh Chan

And thus a crazy madly in love crazy ex-girlfriend is born. The audience is supposed to root for her to become something way better than what she is and realize the folly of her behavior while falling in TV bestie love with her wacky neighbor, and wanna-be boyfriend, all while singing along--did I mention it's a musical. Dang it! All those years of singing and writing songs that I did throughout high school and college and only now do I realize I should have written more comedic musical novels. Yes, it's possible... I think.

I'm not going to compare because I don't like doing that, but I will contrast my book with the show. For one, though both are geared toward the same audience, my book's protagonist is a few years older, not that it makes a real difference in how she acts. They're both brunettes, but I have a much younger best friend in my book. Also, due to Showtime dropping the original series, Crazy Ex-Girlfriend will now be censored in its language and over-the-top-ness, while my book has cursing and one or two NSFOLPR (not safe for out loud public reading) passages. The biggest difference is that they are a TV show that has to produce funny weekly while my book is just a one-shot. Read it in a few days and be done (thank goodness I didn't make this into an episodic novella series; #TheWriter).


In the end, while we both cover a very similar topic, how we each approach the mental state of our heroine will be what I think sets us apart and gets more viewers to the show or readers to the book. There's been some talk that some people are already boycotting the show because it asks viewers to laugh at mental illness or to get a chuckle from a very serious issue of stalking. And while that may be true, the fact remains that the show has yet to premiere so we don't know how it portrays the main character and handles such nuance.

Why this post mentioning both? Again, most authors or writers and creative types in general hate being accused of copycatting something, especially if something becomes hugely popular, then your thing comes out right after it. A little history behind this book, I once fell in love with a friend who didn't love me back. Heartbroken, I decided to try channeling this pain into the written word (it was either that or go off to war and I have flat feet and don't breathe well in arid places). From this pain, I produced three works. One is Unrequited which I plan to release as a serial novel across most of next year as it is pretty long. The second is this book Yep, I'm Totally Stalking My Ex-Boyfriend. Before you start thinking that, this was the book to help me NOT DO THAT THING! By writing about stalking, I could see just how damaging it could become and didn't do it.

However, as with about half of my works, I shelved it for a long time, not even bothering to edit it until now. Why now? I'm telling the truth here, I had always planned to release Unrequited either this year or next year but I wanted to have this book out first as an amuse bouche to the craziness that occurs in Unrequited (oh, it is some crazy stuff goin' on in that book). So when I started writing The Writer back in spring, I knew I'd need something far lighter than the dark and exploratory nature of that work which took a lot of time dwelling in the sickness of man. My plan was to always end a season of The Writer in September and follow it up with the editing and release of a comedy in October. This won't always be the case as next year I have another horror book I'm planning but I'd like to stick to this plan.

So, this whole post is just to say that, no, I did not copy Rachel Bloom's idea. I wrote most of the book well over a year ago. Will I shamelessly use any possible success of the show to promote my own book? Probably, yeah. But hey, I'll technically still be promoting the show that way also. Plus, who knows, maybe we'll both find success and we'll feed off of each others successfulness. Hey, it could happen. Don't try to crush my dreams, OK? With that said, I will give Crazy Ex-Girlfriend the old 3 week try and see how they tackle the subject. Meanwhile, if you tune in for the show, I hope that you won't be shy and also buy my book on sale now for just $3.09 on Amazon Kindle store. You'll want to get it now as it could go up for the holidays. That's only the cost of another big bag of fun size candy for Halloween. And do those fat little diabetics running around your neighborhood need four tiny packages of Twix instead of two? I think not. Now, I've offended diabetics and people who love kids. My mom's a diabetic. Oh well, guess I'm going to hell for that comment.

What do you think? Are you looking forward to this new show on the CW? Were you a fan of Rachel Bloom before she got the show (ha! Ray Bradbury. Classic humor around a literary figure)? Are you interested in my book? Well don't be shy, let me know in the comments below (boom! I totally just nailed that rhyme. You could say it was almost... musical. Ha! Oh, now I feel bad because that was lame. I'm sure Crazy Ex-Girlfriend's music will be much better).
Crazy Ex-Girlfriend starring Rachel Bloom airs Mondays at 8/7c on the CW.

Check out my book Yep, I'm Totally Stalking, My Ex-Boyfriend. #AhStalking. 

If you’re looking for Halloween scares check #AFuriousWind, #DARKER, #BrandNewHome or  #ThePowerOfTen. For those interested in something a little more dramatic, check out #TheWriter. The full first season is OUT NOW exclusively on Amazon. Join us on Goodreads to talk about books and TV, and subscribe to and follow my blog with that Google+ button to the right side.

Until next time, “I do things like a G. Because guess what I am? A G.”


P.S. Cass Clinton once again I'm gonna have to shake my head at your attempt at sounding cool. You're so 90s it hurts. I'll keep thinking of a better sign-off.

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Saturday, October 10, 2015

Who knows? The Shadow knows. #SleepyHollow #DVRRewind #FOX

Who knows? The Shadow knows. #SleepyHollow #DVRRewind #FOX

All pictures courtesy of FOX

What a busy week for me. Not only was I doing the last dot your i's and cross your t's edit on Yep, I'm Totally Stalking My Ex-Boyfriend (#AhStalking) out now, I had so much TV to watch, some fall gardening to do, and some other books to read on top of all the blog entries and other news I had to keep up with, let alone my exercise routine. So much stuff that I'm hitting you all with not just one but a few DVRRewinds this weekend and I still have yet to decide if I'm going to do one for The Flash's season premiere or the third week of Nashville. Too. Many. Shows. But, I'm trying to juggle as much of the entertainment world as I can right now so bare with me as I get to some of the stuff I missed.

For this week, I have Sleepy Hollow (#SleepyHollow) in my DVRRewind. That's right, I am one of the few millions that still watch and enjoy Sleepy Hollow even after they killed Orlando Jones (aka the Black guy), brought him back to life, turned him evil and killed him again all in one season! Ahh! They killed the Asian dude in the first season and they killed Ichabod's wife last season after turning her evil too, which I found to be straight disrespectful but I digress. Anyway, they returned with their season premiere on Fox last week and I hadn't gotten around to watch the first two episodes until last night. Interestingly enough, their move to FOX Thursdays at 9pm hasn't effected them in the ratings that much as they were always a lower-rated show. With FOX being cancel-happy with anything new and out of the box that doesn't involve people under the age of 24 (fingers crossed for Minority Report?), I'm surprised this has stayed on for as long as it has.

Pandora's so evil and a hell of a gardener
Moving on to episode two, this week saw Ichabod dealing with another conjured minion of Pandora (yes, the one with the crazy box for those of you not initiated into the insanity of this show. I ain't got time. Look it up!) From what we learned in the season opener, as the two witnesses supposedly prophesied in the bible, Ichabod and Abbie have only gone through one test of seven (complete mess of the Revelation prophecy but we've all accepted that at this point). Now comes their second test, Pandora. After the strange fear-paralyzing creature she summoned last week, this week she hit them up with a shadow creature that surrounds you with darkness and extracts from you, in your state of horrified petrification, a deep secret. This often leads to your death in some way as the two men the shadow performed this on died from a heart attack or a car accident.

While I enjoy this show, I will say that this is one of the most ebb and flowing shows I've ever seen on TV. It will be incredibly hot one week and incredibly cold the next. That being said, I enjoyed the season premiere more than I have most season premieres from my other established favorite shows. This week's episode seemed like the biggest throwaway episode I've seen since Breaking Bad's fly episode (I know it was supposed to be a metaphor but whatever). Though this shadow is supposed to be extracting secrets from people, the show never really gets around to revealing what those secrets were, concerning itself instead with Ichabod and Abbie's secrets, which is fine, but makes me wonder why the heck Pandora sent the shadow after the other three people in the first place.


Then there's Abbie's sister doing this dance of "caring" with the long-dead sheriff's son who just surfaced to look through his dad's things. What? The sheriff literally got beheaded by the headless horseman on the first or second episode of the series... back in 2013. Not only that but the premiere featured a time jump of nine months since their last adventure in season two's finale. It has got to be at least a year and a half after his death. Why is he here now? Sure, he made brief appearances in the past but one would think that he could have either moved on by now or they would have made him a series regular long ago. Doesn't seem quite right for him to be around now. Anyway, he got kidnapped in exchange for an artifact--the eye of Anubis, I believe--and Abbie's sister rescues him.


Finally, they have the newest Black guy love interest that networks seem to be plug and playing, Lance Gross. I say that because last year Grey's Anatomy on ABC inserted him as a 4 or 5 episode love interest for Meredith's sister. Now he's in as the new head over Abbie in her FBI post (a big step up from when she was at the deputy's office) even though they went through Quantico together. Is she gonna hit that at some point in the season? I would say yes, because if there has been anything more noticeable in this show than how little sex Ichabod and Abbie have each had, it is... uh. Well, there isn't anything more noticeable on the show than that.


So far Pandora has caused nothing but trouble, which now that I think about it is her main thrust but that's all she's done. Outside of sending a shadow monster easily defeated by calling out his name Marcus Collins (can you believe that? Yeah, that's his name. Marcus Collins. That's just as bad of a name for an evil being as Gerald was for the furry foot-eating monster that lived under my bed when I was little), she's shown off not a hint at a plan outside of growing a tree. Basically Pandora is Johnny Appleseed only more evil. A bad episode? Can't say it was their best, or even close to their average. It was below average, but that just means that next week's will probably blow me away.

What did you think? Do you watch this show? Are you happy with the way it's going with Abbie and Ichabod both getting new love interests and keeping away from each other's bed? What do you think Pandora has in store for them? Let me know in the comments below.

As always, check out my books on Amazon (if you’re looking for Halloween scares check  #AFuriousWind,  #DARKER#BrandNewHome or #ThePowerOfTen). For those interested in something a little more dramatic, check out #TheWriter. All 15 episodes are out now on Amazon.

And check for my latest book, a comedy entitled Yep, I'm Totally Stalking, My Ex-Boyfriend (#AhStalking) available only on Amazon (look for a post about it later today). Join us on Goodreads to talk about books and TV, and subscribe to and follow my blog with that Google+ button to the right.

Until next time, “my daddy still alive? What? ”


P.S. Was anyone else's mind blown when Abbie said her father was still alive? Yeah, neither was mine. As with most absentee father's he's become just some old guy sitting in a park, feeding the birds. Wait, there were no birds? Aww, that's even sadder.

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I Present To You Lady Monster... But Where's That Plot, Though? #AmericanHorrorStory #AHSHotel #DVRRewind

I Present To You Lady Monster... But Where's That Plot, Though? #AmericanHorrorStory #AHSHotel #DVRRewind


All pictures courtesy of FX unless otherwise stated


"Ooo La! Oo la Ga-ga! Ooo La! Oo la Ga-ga!" Wait, those aren't the words to Lady Gaga's "Judas" song? Well, how am I supposed to know that, I'm not her biggest fan--Paparazzi--but I am a fan. I'm just trying to give her that thing that she wants... you know, applause. Is that enough Lady Gaga song references or do you want more? I know everyone else has done it already but I can't help it, I was born this way. Leave me alone!


Anyway, American Horror Story came back for its fifth season, American Horror Story: Hotel (#AHSHotel). And with the absence of Jessica Lange--you dear sweet woman whom we'll miss forever--someone had to take over as lead monster. Enter Lady Gaga. But before we get to her fantastic starring role, we have to backtrack through a little non-plotting, plot.

What's the basis of Hotel? Similar to seasons past of the popular horror anthology series the producers have been very sparse on details. Though there has been talk of vampirism in some form, an earthly entrance into hell and even purgatory, none of that has been outright confirmed. All we know as of this moment is that the Hotel Cortez is haunted by a host of baddies sure to maim and disgust. We also have word (and have seen in previews of this season) that a few of the past favorite characters from prior seasons will make an appearance in the hotel that guests check in but never check--what? Oh, so you're saying I shouldn't make that joke because it's too easy. Fine, I won't write it, but I'm definitely thinkin' it.


A little character background, we have Kathy Bates playing the front desk check-in lady, Wes Bentley playing a creepy looking detective (though that just might be his normal face), Matt Bomer playing Lady Gaga's lover/Bates' son, Denis O'Hare playing a cross-dressing chain-smoker, Lady Gaga playing the boss of everything and Sarah Paulson playing... uh, Debbie from the Thornberrys?
Picture courtesy of Nickelodeon and The Wild Thornberrys
Is that...? No, she's supposed to be a blonde version of Selma from the Simpsons, right?
Picture courtesy of FOX and The Simpsons
Well, whoever she is supposed to be that hair is teased to death, literally as it is revealed she is dead or at least should be after the fall she took at the hands of Bates' character. That's at the end of the episode.

I know, I'm jumping ahead again, but to be fair, this season started off with a very strange feeling. Unlike in seasons past, it felt like it had very little plot. Leeway is always given to the season premiere of any show as it sets up the rest of the season, but because this is an anthology series and we know each season will be different, you have to set us up with what's about to go on for the next twelve episodes. And I really have no idea what to anticipate.

Granted, this can be argued for any season and there are a ton of story strands, but it spent an hour and a half kind of meandering around from character to character showing us creepy stuff with no explanation. It starts with two foreign girls entering the hotel who, despite their better judgment, stay at the hotel even though they don't want to. There's an ode to the creepy children from The Shining in a scene where one of the girls goes to get ice, and one sees a huge stain of blood on some bed sheets that are being washed outside of a patron's room. There's also an apron-wearing man a la Hostel--a testament to this season's gore factor. Then the girls cut open their stinky mattress to find a person trapped inside of it all gaunt and Gollum-like. Naturally, like any other normal human being who just witnessed a person pop from inside their mattress would do, they stay in the hotel from fear that they could be arrested. What the hell? Personally, I would have left... unless they comped me all the pillow mint chocolates I could handle, then we could at least talk about me staying. And then one of the girls gets eatin' by the devil children... or does she? I don't know as she appears in another scene later on just fine, but locked up by Kathy Bates who has this thing about druggies (her son is one and OD'd in the hotel long while back in the 90s). Sarah Paulson was his dealer/fellow smack head.


In a secondary story, Wes Bentley's detective studies the murder and torture of a cheating couple where the man is glued into the woman mid-coitus and left to bleed with no eyes or tongue while the woman is stabbed through the head. This, coupled with the rape of one of the hotel guests using a metal drill phallus and the disemboweling of two other guys seems to suggest this season will be drawing heavily from David Finch's Seven (a must see if you haven't already). Those deadly sins and commandments will get you every time. Even the beginning credits have the list of the ten commandments between such horrifying visions of people bursting from things they shouldn't be inside of. He's got a daughter and a wife but is going through some serious family strife which ultimately leads him to stay at the hotel in room 64 where the murderer says he'll strike next--seems pretty reasonable to me.

Courtesy Entertainment Weekly
And lastly, we have Lady Gaga playing the boss of everyone. She seems not to age as she was in the hotel during the 90s and the OD of Bates' son, Bomer. Now, the two of them have couples' sex with other creeptastic swingers before slitting their throats and drinking some of their blood, though most of it is wasted. She encounters Will Drake who has just purchased the hotel and presumably will re-vamp (ha! Re-vamp. Vampire? Lady Gaga is some sorta non-vampire, vampire. You get it?) much of it to his stylings and kick out the residents that populate some of its rooms. I'm supposing this will be a main plot though I'm not sure as Drake seems easily seduced, though we do know that no woman has ever had him starstruck as we learned this summer (Meek Mill is still taking losses. Sad).

There's some stuff in there about never leaving and having to feed something, but that was about it. Oh, and they ended the show with the most appropriate song in history "Hotel California" by the Eagles. I don't really know who these Eagles are but they're totally going to blow up after this. I mean, they're gonna be super famous, like maybe even legendary.

Was the first episode scary? It had a few good moments in there, definitely better than Scream Queens over on Fox. Has it lived up to Freak Show? Not yet, but there's plenty of time. We'll see.


What do you think little monsters and AHS long-standing fans out there? Did you love Lady Gaga about as much as I did? Do you think she is a good actress? Do you already miss Jessica Lange? And what the heck is up with not seeing Evan Peters (the other longest tenured cast member) on the first episode? What are your theories about what the heck is going on? My money's on the gateway to hell/purgatory where wayward souls come to vacation before either moving on or going back to haunt their old places, or a grown-up version of Hotel Transylvania. Let's see, multitude of Lady Gaga references, Seven reference, rapper Drake reference, Simpsons reference, Nickelodeon reference, so-so joke pretending that I don't know who the Eagles are--yeah, I pretty much nailed this recap. Let me know what your theories in the comments below.

As always, check out my books on Amazon (if you’re looking for Halloween scares check #AFuriousWind,  #DARKER#BrandNewHome or #ThePowerOfTen). For those interested in something a little more dramatic, check out #TheWriter. The final episode of season one of The Writer is OUT NOW. Ahh! That’s right, all 15 episodes are out now available exclusively on Amazon. And ladies, my comedy Yep, I'm Totally Stalking My Ex-Boyfriend is out today. Get it and laugh only on Amazon. Join us on Goodreads to talk about books and TV, and subscribe to and follow my blog with that Google+ button to the right side.

Until next time, “I want your lovin' and I want your revenge. You and me could have a bad romance.”


P.S. How did they not use that song in that gruesome foursome sex scene? I thought Gaga would permeate the entire episode. Oh well. There's always next week.  

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