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Tuesday, October 25, 2016

No Stress, No Debt, No Problem #NoTomorrow #CW #3weekroundup

No Stress, No Debt, No Problem #NoTomorrow #CW #3weekroundup

All pictures courtesy of the CW

We’re finally nearing the end of the new-show onslaught and I couldn’t be happier because I have really been wanting to get some other work done and haven’t been able to because I have to watch so many hour-long shows and then watch three episodes and then take the time to review them, not to mention do other work. It’s been crazy. But with a few CW shows left, one on ABC and one on USA, I should be looking good to finish this up by next Friday, fingers crossed. Up for review today we have CW’s new hour-long romantic comedy No Tomorrow. Will this currently low-rated show make you wish you had one more day with it or will it be forgotten by manana? Read on for my review/recap of the first three episodes and to see if I can come up with anything actually resembling wit or good writing. Spoiler Alert: probably not!

No Tomorrow (#NoTomorrow) follows Evie, a young 30-year-old quality control assessor that works at an internet company similar to Amazon. Played by the four-years-younger (don’t know why they didn’t cast an actual 30-year-old but OK, I guess) Tori Anderson, we meet our protagonist at work as she tries to give an uplifting speech about getting things properly done in the warehouse space where she works. The space is very open-plan, rather annoying to me—just felt I needed to point that out—as she has a cubicle but nothing separates the cubicles from the rest of the warehouse. It’s basically like working in the middle of a Sam’s Club or Costco. I digress. Evie is not someone who is overly confident, doesn’t exude leadership (though she wants to have a leadership position) and is overly buttoned-up and cautious while maintaining the big happy-go-lucky grin of a rich, Prozac-addled teenage girl with not a care in the world. Not that she loves her job, she also doesn’t hate it and has found plenty of bright sides to it. I find this character trait rather important because it partially explains her reactions later in the series. While everything seems to be going OK for her (she lives alone in a house in what looks like California somewhere and I’m thinking, “Dang! How much money does she make?”), she has an underlying feeling that something is missing: excitement.
And then she half-meets a new guy.

I say that she half-meets a new guy because they don’t quite talk enough to have a conversation or really do anything other than for her to go googly-eyed at him and his handsomeness. The guy in question is Xavier (pronounced similar to Savior rather than having the hard X). Xavier is a very... unique individual. Played by Joshua Sasse most recently of the defunct ABC musical comedy Galavant, he wears a constant Prince Charming smile while exuding the spirit of a new-age hippy. How does Evie come across this human-skinned unicorn, you ask? By chance—not the rapper, but the actual, you know concept... or maybe fate.

A few weeks prior to the show’s starting point, Evie was shopping at a local farmer’s market with her sister and asked a very hipster question about rutabagas. Xavier saw her from across the way, thought, “Hey, I’d like to sleep with her” and “Dat Ass!” and approached. He made a funny comment, she freaked out at his enchanting eyes and fled from the situation only to realize that she had fallen head-over-heels in lust with him. She laments about it to her coworkers (we’ll get to those characters shortly) and not but a day later she comes home to a package left on her doorstep. Whose errantly-delivered package of sour beer (is that a thing?) could it be but Xavier’s. Where once she thought she would never see him again, she now knows his first and last name, where he lives, and that he just got a very heavy package of some mystery item. When she goes to deliver it, that is when her life changes forever.

Xavier is the antithesis of Evie, not in everything but in a few key ways. He is carefree, doesn’t have a job, lives a life that is only semi-organized (I’m guessing Evie isn’t OCD—yes, I know that’s not technically an adjective—about things because they don’t harp on her love of organizing, so...), and seems to get everything he desires without second thought of the consequences. He, unlike her, knows how to let loose; in fact, he lives his life all loose, no tightness. There’s a joke in there about a Texas brothel, but you can fish it out yourself. When she asks him how he does this, is able to live this kind of life, supports himself while living in his own house and buying specialty junk for himself, he tells her one big not-so-secret secret: he’s figured out that the world is going to end in eight months and twelve days when an asteroid that is currently (supposedly) not on a direct line toward earth will impact earth, decimating all life as we know it. And being the comedy it is, red flashing lights go off over Evie’s head to alert her to her new friend’s insanity. Yeah, the guy is whacked... or is he?

I would like to note here that the CW previously had My Crazy Ex-Girlfriend airing on the start of Monday night, but have since moved it to Friday. I say that to say that in this case, the crazy ex-girlfriend in that show truly does have problems that shouldn’t be ignored; here, Xavier is not actually crazy but has a logical explanation for everything. To add, even if the asteroid doesn’t come, he’s still not crazy, just wrong. Before quitting his job, he worked as a copyeditor for a science magazine. While at work and messing around he read an article that appealed to his love for astrology, where he discovered that the asteroid the government said was going to miss all of the earth will, based upon his own tested and re-tested calculations, make an extinction-level impact—we’re talkin’ the one that killed all the dinosaurs. He came to this theory based on NASA’s miscalculation of the effects of global warming and geothermal expansion on earth greatly influencing the space around it. And to this explanation, Evie reacts as she should (thinks he’s crazy) before acting as she shouldn’t: she stays at his house until night so he can show her the asteroid shining brightest in the sky.

Xavier and Evie. "He's crazy but soooo cute!" ~ Evie

And then he drops his life philosophy for the last 8 months on her. He says that they must live their life as they want because they soon won’t be there. He’s made an Apoca-list of everything he wants to do before it all goes kablooey! Strangely, he shows her a notebook filled with the things he wants to do, she reads through the many women he wants to bed before the earth goes, finds her name on the list (he didn’t say he wanted to sleep with her just “find the cute rutabaga girl”), and finds this endearing and kind of cute rather than creepy and in-your-front-bushes stalkerish. Rather than letting this all go and leaving him to be weird to himself, she considers just how hot he is and has to convene with her coworkers about this craziness.

Hank with Evie
Her main coworkers consist of a group of three she regularly interacts with. Hank (played by Johnathon Langdon) is a known conspiracy nut, too, so she has to go to him first. Lovable black huggy bear with a medium-top fade, he is her straight male road-dog and looks to be her closest friend outside of her family. One of the better comedy elements of the show, his convincing-hinging-on-over-the-top delivery, and jovial nature keep the sunshine going as both Evie and Xavier are all smiles all the time. It’s like everybody’s on lollipop-flavored PCP and just lovin’ life and livin’ it without a care in the world. He laughs at Xavier’s assertion that the world will end with the strike of an asteroid... because he knows that it will end by the hand of the Russians starting a nuclear holocaust. He’s got a calendar where he’s marked it and has info from the government where supposedly a secret bunker is going to store all the important people the day before the nuclear war kills or mutilates everyone turning them into Whitewalkers or something (made that last part up).

Evie and Hank are joined at work by their friend Kareema (played by Sarayu Blue) who finally brings some sarcastic devil-may-care, Creed Bratton from The Office kind of feel to the show. She does things for the fun of it, too, but most of the things she does are twisted and prank-like against other people. She is here for the drama, and the drama is here for her.

Evie's Boss Deirdre
Finally, we have their boss and top manager of the warehouse place Deirdre played by TV vet Amy Pietz. Uptight, low-stated, fear-inducing boss-lady, she secretly has a huge crush on Hank and all of his “manliness” that arouses her immensely at work. Of course, the group doesn’t know this and thinks that she is as cold as Elsa from Frozen, or as robotic as six (or was it seven) of nine from Deep Space Nine. While Evie doesn’t like her, she also doesn’t hate her that much. She’s her boss and that’s that.

Evie turns also to her family for advice on Xavier. And then I, like a self-respecting, decent American, yelled at my screen, “Noooooooooooooooooo!” because I saw veteran actor and known show-killer Ted McGinley playing her father. Joined by mother, who literally has the name Evie’s mother on IMDb, the character is played by Gigi Rice who looks like an older, smilely-er Topanga from Boy Meets World. That wasn’t really a decent sentence, but you know you understood it. Finally, there is her older sister Mary Ann played by Kelly Stables. Mary Anne, I assume, has a guy (she talks like she’s married, but we have yet to see him if she is) and a young black baby. They don’t pay much attention to her thing about the new guy at first as they are distracted by the outside park party for Mary Anne’s eldest son. And then Evie’s ex- or on-a-Friends-style-break-boyfriend shows up.

Soft-talker Timothy (Jesse Rath) comes to talk about how he doesn’t want to be on break anymore and mumbles his way through a proposal... of marriage. Interesting timing. She doesn’t say yes, but doesn’t say no either, and asks for time to think about it. See, he, Evie and Hank used to be the three amigos hanging out and Hank never felt like a third wheel as they did their couples thing. Now that she wants time, Hank misses them hanging out, so he has to be the bro-shoulder to cry on for Timothy.

Soft-talker Timothy

Meanwhile, as Hank and Timothy are hanging with each other, Evie has another encounter with Xavier after he comes to her place this time. They discard the apocalyptic talk in favor of him talking about his list. He invites her to help him do something off the list and finds out that his cousin, with whom he wants to hang, is in jail. So, instead, they do a wild, dangerous, ride on dune buggies through the desert—something Evie would never have done on her own. And because it’s so thrilling, they immediately go back to his place and have hot, rip-ya-clothes-off movie sex. Hey, how could she give proper thought to whether she wants to marry Timothy without first sleeping with another man who she originally and still does think is crazy? It only makes sense.

Like Tamar Braxton once said, he must have a dingaling of gold, because Evie totally forgets about the one mouse that hopped off the jogging wheel when it thought it saw another mouse (it’s afraid of mice) situation that Xavier’s got goin’ on in his brain. Xavier then asks Evie what is something she’s always wanted to do in a make-your-own-list kind of way. Before leaving to go to work (she stayed the night, gasp!), she tells him that she always wanted to bake a potato wrapped in foil in a microwave. Radical stuff here, people. Think bigger. “Try a pogo-stick.” He doesn’t get a proper answer until he tells her to not think about it and she spits out sing in public. Her mom and sister mentioned how she has a beautiful voice but she’s too afraid to sing in public after miserable experiences with the stage before—she vomited during a grade-school play. Xavier sets out to see her conquer this fear and do it, while she rushes off to work.

A little while later, she and Xavier meet up at a bar of his choosing where he essentially rigs it so that she wins the “opportunity” to rock the mic with her voice on a well-worn 80s rock tune. But she’s still nervous, so Xavier begins ripping off his own clothes and getting naked in the bar to embarrass himself to take some of the shame off of her, which makes the situation all the better. Coming off of the stage, she is relieved that she did something wonderful and amazing, but when Hank storms into the bar to tell her how he had to spend the last hour cleaning out her desk, she is stunned to learn that her new guy went behind her back to send an email to her boss Deirdre using her own email account, telling the woman how much she absolutely despised her and how she wanted to quit. There goes the watch reminder that he’s crazy. Xavier gets a big no-no slap on the wrist for that and sends Evie into a tailspin as she tries to figure out how she is going to get her job back.

A little too forward with his determination to get not only her but everyone to switch-up how they live their life before the world ends, Xavier realizes that he’s made a mistake and sends Evie a gift, a pogo-stick. Then, like the creep he is, he spies on her from afar as she tries it out after having initially thrown it away. She quickly falls and busts her head open, winding her up in the hospital. As it turns out, she has a very rare but very serious and potentially life-threatening bodily malfunction in her heart that makes it beat too fast, and that wouldn’t have been caught had she not fallen and busted her butt. Luckily, the doctor’s get to it in time because if it was allowed to go on without treatment it might have killed her, but she has to change some things about her life or it could come back. And here the producers have an out... or an in to more series. More on that later.

Continuing on, while Evie realizes life’s brevity, she does still have serious doubts about Xavier and goes to get her job back. She proves to Deirdre that the email speaking ill of her came from a different IP address than her own computer and that she was essentially hacked. Her boss believes her but enslaves her into a secondary work mission. With Deirdre’s love-lust for big little-man Hank ever growing, she feels that she must have him without barriers. Sadly, because she is his boss and they work together closely (not close enough), there are guidelines by which she has to operate in order to keep her job. She can’t simply say how she feels to him, so she enlists (blackmails) Evie into reading the entirety of the employee company handbook on inter-company fraternizing, and help her plan displays of affection toward him.

Her job back and secure, Evie realizes that even though Xavier was very misguided, his attempt to apologize saved her life and before that minor blip of making her falsely quit her job, he had changed her life for the better. So, she goes back to him with her own budding list of things she wants to do. She reads him on how inappropriate it was for him to do what he did and tells him that she will go at her own pace and take this life-might-end scenario one day at a time as it is her life, but she would still like him to be a part of it and for her to be a part of his. Her plan? She hopes to help him complete his list one activity at a time, switching back and forth between the two lists as he completes one of his tasks and then he helps to complete one of hers. And the first thing she’s got to do? Bake that foil-wrapped potato in his microwave. And boy do the sparks fly from there. Get it? Because it’s a romantic comedy and while the potato sent out sparks and blew up the microwave, there are sparks between Evie and Xavier because they’re falling in love. Right? Right? Boy, you are not gettin’ my best today.

The episode ends when, surprise! that tiny throwaway line about Xavier’s cousin being in jail proves no longer true because the guy just broke out of jail and goes to his cousin’s house where Xavier welcomes him with open arms much to the shock of Evie.

Episode two picks up where we left off with Xavier now helping to saw off his cousin Jesse’s handcuffs in the kitchen while Evie watches with mouth-gaping curiosity and trepidation. Apparently, there was a plan between the two cousins that finally worked; in other words, Xavier not only knew his brother was going to break out of jail, he helped him do it. A moral crisis, even though Jesse only embezzled money from some corrupt businessmen that he worked for, Evie still sees him as an escaped felon who she knows is living in her new non-boyfriend boyfriend’s house (they’ve put no label on what they’re doing but if it looks like a relationship, acts like a relationship and makes both parties involved change like a relationship, then it’s a relationship). Her mind stuck on the criminality of harboring, aiding and abetting a fugitive, and how both Jesse and Xavier could end up in jail, as well as herself for being around them, she struggles not to call the police and turn rat. Back to her friends and family for advice.

Evie tells Hank and Kareema about this, posing Jesse as an illegal California pet instead of an escaped convict. Kareema thinks it is fun, while Hank suspects things aren’t going as well with Xavier as Evie’s ex Timothy thinks, which means there’s a chance for Tim to get her back. When Evie goes to her parents and sister for advice, she learns that her dad is freaking out once again as his store’s (he doesn’t own it, but just works there. You get it) fiscal year is coming to an end and his sales rival is poised to win salesman of the year for the bagillionth time in a row, even though it’s really close. An appliance store, Evie buys Xavier a new microwave after Jesse tries to heat something up and Xavier is reminded that his microwave blew up. Her family too busy to entertain her what-if scenarios, she tries letting it go that Jesse is this escaped criminal. They give him a raggedy wig and a moderate Bin Laden-shave to disguise him and hope for the best.

Evie, Jesse, Xavier, Cop
After Xavier and Jesse go to a storage locker where Xavier has been keeping all of his cousin’s stuff since he went to jail, they found not only some of the money that Jesse stole (he was like a broker, stealing from the corrupt rich and giving most of it to the poor workers that these corrupt rich stole from in the first place) but their time capsule made as little kids and never buried. In it, Xavier finds a recording from his mom who tells him to call her more often and just how proud she is of her son. Evie asks him about his mom but sees it is a hard subject for him and doesn’t get an answer until they complete another one of Xavier’s to-do list things: jump off a famous cliff in the area and down into the waters below. While in the midst of doing something else, they happen upon the cliff and all three of them do it together, another thing that has Evie awe-inspired by what life can really be. But upon returning to the car, Jesse foolishly litters by tossing an empty pop (or soda) can over his shoulder, expecting it to hit the ground. Instead, it hits a cop car. Evie sweats the most when the cop comes to talk to them and asks for everyone’s ID. She keeps side-eyeing Xavier in the driver’s seat as Jesse hands over his newly pressed fake ID. Everybody’s butt cheeks tighten when the cop asks Jesse to get out of the car. All that dissipates when all the cop wants is for Jesse to pick the can off his car and properly dispose of it—thank God they weren’t black, right? Right? Might have been the end of the show. Oh God, this racial insensitivity is killin’ me.

Anyway, the experience makes Xavier realize how dangerous it is for Evie to be around his cousin, and since he wants to keep her in his life and doesn’t want to ruin her life nor his own, he decides that the best idea is to send his cousin away to a country with no extradition. Always the objector, Evie is originally against this, too, as he plans to sneak Jesse through a busy airport with a fake ID and passport and a terrible disguise. Then, she thinks of a great idea to ship him in one of her company’s shipping trucks that would get him either to Canada or Mexico packed inside of a large box, which is cool because he’s been a prisoner for so long that he’s used to small, cramped spaces. The day is saved.

Jump! Jump! 

There’s also some work stuff that goes on where she is terrified to interview in front of an oversight committee there to figure out who to layoff; Deirdre tries to bond more with Hank by eating with him, Evie, and Kareema; Evie nails her thing before the committee; and Deirdre gives Hank an ergonomic chair that leans back at work. My favorite scene of the episode: Hank leans back in it, smashing his fro into Deirdre’s privates by accident and then rubbing his head back and forth without noticing at all what he was doing. It sent them both into bliss as Deirdre winked at Evie who was too grossed out by the display. Also, Hank gives Timothy a hipster makeover to impress Evie but it doesn’t work to get her back, and Xavier finally reveals that his mother died when he was in college but one of her biggest things was jumping off that same cliff that they did earlier. And finally, Xavier went into Evie’s dad’s work and bought, near a dozen washer and dryers to send him over the top to salesman of the year for the first time ever. A heartfelt gesture, Evie goes back to him and they have a backyard foam party.

Episode three returns to Xavier’s pursuit of telling the world the truth about their impending doom. As Evie’s 31st birthday is coming up (again, both actors playing Xavier and Evie are about four years younger than their characters), she struggles to reveal to others outside of Hank just how crazy he is. He’s just a guy who knows that time is fleeting and life is short. But when she goes to a scientific lecture/book-signing by a prominent scientist because Xavier wants to go, she is confronted with just how out-of-it he really is when he tries to run to the woman with his research in hand, begging her to read it. They tase him, leaving her embarrassed to no end. So, she asks Hank to do a dark/deep web dive on Xavier to find out everything about him while she writes a pros/cons list about him—seriously, after the felon-cousin thing, the guy must have a dingaling of gold dipped in diamonds like some super-fancy Babe Ruth candy bar. When Hank can come back with absolutely nothing on Xavier he has to meet the man face to face (side note: they had already unofficially met in the singing bar in the first episode). He leaves that meeting thinking Xavier is in the CIA.

Who Is The Craziest? Hmmm?

Things get embarrassing when Xavier shows up to Evie’s surprise birthday party. At first he is cool, enlightening everyone with his philosophy that you must say and do what you want now before it is too late, but when he takes everyone back to his place to celebrate all of Evie’s birthdays from now until 100, and have a food fight with the 70 or so cakes he had specially made for the occasion, he lets out that the world will end and everybody’s like whaaaaaa? She tells him he can’t run around saying that to people and he tells her that this is him and she needs to be able to deal with that. So, she comes up with the plan that she is going to try helping him prove this theory by getting that same lecturer/scientist/writer to review his work. She gets the woman cornered before Xavier comes in and they show the woman the research. Xavier finally feels good about it. But when Evie sees the woman throw X’s research away, she decides to back his belief by printing out fliers about it and helping him throw them off a building for all the world to read. He doesn’t have to necessarily be right, and she doesn’t have to believe he’s right, so long as she respects that he believes that.

Meanwhile, at work, she deals with some quality control issues that see people getting the wrong shipment. She is supposed to fire the person doing it but when she finds out it is Kareema doing it to mess with people and have fun, she blames it on another guy in packing who has already decided to leave and move across country to be with his second secret family he confessed to having for no reason. Hank and Kareema end up briefly hanging out with their boss when they run into Deirdre at a bar. She tries to confess her undying love for Hank but he flees when she whispers sexily into his ear. He half-confesses to Evie and squirms out the fact that he may have a crush or something on Deirdre but no one can learn of this. And all of the people Xavier talked to at the party find his personality to be a revelation and know that they should listen to him about taking advantage of life. So, her dad quits the salesman gig to become an actor—how very Ted McGinley of you, Ted McGinley. And all is right in the world... save for the asteroid coming to destroy it, but that really isn’t “in” the world yet, so...

What’s my grade? I give it a solid B. I actually enjoy this show, and I think I like it better than I did My Crazy Ex last season. Granted, I was a little bias against My Crazy Ex because of my own book Yep, I’m Totally Stalking My Ex-Boyfriend, but I also think that the attempt at subversive humor there was undermined, in some cases, by the casting and the choice to make it a musical all the way through. This show is bright and sunny and cheerful from beat to beat. With so much of what is on TV (especially what I watch) dark and gritty and with humor that is twisted and visceral, this is a nice change of pace. Granted, I watched this out of its normal time on Tuesdays, but I still think that it not only fits well with the young CW brand, it also goes well with other female-led comedies of the day. The mystery of whether Xavier is right or not is just captivating enough to keep you wondering throughout the season and, depending on how the show-runners do it, could be shown either straight through in one season or have each season be a month in the characters’ lives. While I still think that the casting of slightly younger people is a little ageist, I can forgive it as Evie seems cast perfectly as the perky but orderly 31-year-old, and she is very nice to look at. I welcome Joshua Sasse back on my TV and I enjoy most of the cast, even Ted McGinley. Again, however, as has been the theme this season with certain characters, I don’t see much need for the character of Kareema on the show, other than to employee another woman and minority, which is fine by me. The actress is good and doesn’t detract from the story, but she doesn’t add anything either like the rest of the characters do. Cut her and the show literally doesn’t change at all, and saves a full minute more for ad time.

Pretty much all of the comedy is situational as most comedy writers these days have moved away from actually telling jokes and writing them into scripts, but that is OK. Evie acts accordingly in many areas but completely counter to her nature in others, which may piss some people off who can’t or won’t immediately see that as character growth and expansion. And, I think there’s even an out for the producers if it turns out that Xavier is incorrect about the asteroid: Evie’s newly discovered heart disease. With the name of the show so vague, No Tomorrow could also apply to Evie when, at the end of the season, she realizes that she maybe only has a certain amount of years to live and must do just as Xavier has taught her to do, live her life with reckless abandon, for tomorrow it could end. While this idea can work, I think the bolder idea would be to actually have the asteroid hit and then play it from there as a sunny upbeat apocalyptic comedy like a better version of Last Man on Earth (not to knock that show or its fans).

One of the problems that I see is that it might be too quirky and 90s/aughts rom-com-y for some as each episode will have a similar arc: guy and girl do cool stuff together, guy does something stupid to tick girl off, girl runs to tell her friends/family, girl and guy have a heartfelt conversation about it, guy or girl apologize for offending each other, and finally they make up and make out. There is where Crazy Ex and my book, to a lesser extent, has it on originality. But outside of that, I like it. It’s not phenomenal, but it’s very enjoyable.
Should you be watching? Yes. If pretty much all you’re doing is watching and/or reading dark, twisted stuff like The Walking Dead or Game of Thrones or all the crime shows, and you want something upbeat and cheery for a change, this show might be for you. Remember, however, that this is on the CW so it is geared toward a younger audience and is very in-line, I’d say, with the tone of Supergirl, minus the feminism (I say that not to denigrate the shows that show feminism, but just to say that it’s not trying to prove a point like Crazy Ex is. It’s just trying to entertain). This show is like bubblegum, kinda warm and fuzzy, and might supply a few good chuckles through the holiday season. No Tomorrow currently airs on the CW Tuesdays at 9pm after The Flash.

What do you think? Have you seen No Tomorrow? If not, do you think you’ll tune in to see it now? If you have seen it, what has been your favorite part? Do you think Xavier is right? Do you think that the show could take a religious turn and have “Xavier” supposed to actually be the Savior come back to earth, because that was my first theory, especially considering how you pronounce his name? And will Deirdre wrangle her some Hank or will he continue to resist in his glorious obliviousness? Let me know in the comments below (hint: click the no comments button if you see no comments).

Check out my 5-star comedy novel, Yep, I'm Totally Stalking My Ex-Boyfriend. #AhStalking
If you’re looking for a scare, check the YA novel #AFuriousWind, the NA novel #DARKER#BrandNewHome or  the bizarre horror #ThePowerOfTen. For those interested in something a little more dramatic and adult, check out #TheWriter. Both season 1 and season 2 are out NOW, exclusively on Amazon. Stay connected here for updates on season 3 coming summer 2017. If you like fast action/crime check out #ADangerousLow. The sequel A New Low will be out in a few months. Look for the mysterious Sci-fi episodic novella series Extraordinary to premiere sometime this winter on Amazon and my blog. Join us on Goodreads to talk about books and TV, and subscribe to and follow my blog with that Google+ button to the right.

Until next time, “Dude, the apocalypse is happening outside right now! The world’s coming to an end.”
‘OK, so what I’m hearin’ is that the apocalypse is happening outside and the world is about to end but you still thought it was a good idea for yo silly butt to come and interrupt me while I’m watchin’ my stories? I’mma see the last of my soaps, damn it! And you betta not interrupt me again!’

P.S. Listen, I’m not gonna knock anybody who wants to achieve something amazing with their life before the world comes to its climactic end. All I’m sayin’ is that some of us have Hulu and Netflix accounts that need our bingeing attention. Better not one single zombie come and bother me while I’m re-watching every season of Desperate Housewives. That was a terrible sign-off but it needed to be said. I’ll think of something better next time.

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