Farewell, Gladiators! #Scandal #ScandalFinale #seriesfinale #ABC #Shondaland

Farewell, Gladiators! #Scandal #ScandalFinale #seriesfinale #ABC #Shondaland

All pictures courtesy of ABC and Shondaland Productions 

It's rare that I get to write one of these. I think the last time I wrote one was for the short-lived, but twisty-good (in my opinion) series Revenge, another ABC show about backstabbery, betrayal, lying, cheating and rich people problems. In the TV-landscape it is quite rare to encounter. A TV show is very akin to a new restaurant or business, in that over 90% of them fail their first or second year out, and often close up shop without warning. For years, fans have lamented about their favorite new shows suddenly being canceled or put on long, indeterminate hiatuses often without proper conclusions. I think the most flagrant example and probably the one that started the cancellation trend of unsatisfying ends was that of Alf, the 1980's sitcom about a bizarre-looking alien that comes to live with a family in suburban America. It is now not only known in pop culture as one of the strangest shows with a cuddle-ugly alien thing to possibly ever exist, but is infamous for its final episode's final shot showing Alf gazing into the sky while a spaceship, presumably from his home planet, is beaming light down on him. Does he ever get back home like E.T.? What happens to the family who cared for him for four seasons? And what about the government agencies that have chased after him? Fans will never know because the show ended on a huge cliffhanger in hopes of the network keeping them on another season, only to be axed a week or two after the finale aired. All of that long opening paragraph and out-of-the-blue Alf reference simply to say this: It's a big deal when a beloved, long-running scripted series gets a series finale.

President Mellie Hardly Factored Into This Episode If You Ask Me

B
ut did we deserve this finale? Eh! Let's first recap for any of those people who just like reading my words or like to experience things over again. With Olivia having told her clan that the only way to get out of their current predicament—on the cusp of being taken down and Mellie's presidency being de-legitimized due to charges of treason—was to go over the cliff and actually... tell the truth (gasp!). The truth about everything, but mainly about B6-13. Our finale, aptly titled “Over The Cliff” opened with them readying to testify about their involvement in and/or knowledge of this organization. Everyone from sitting president Mellie, to Fitz, to Olivia, to Huck and down the line were going to testify. They'd do this all to prevent Cyrus from taking over the white house. But first, in order to even get the clout and grand hearing that they wanted, the guy that was looking into Mellie's supposed treasonous attempt to bring down Air Force 2 had to do something drastic. See, he was threatened by Jake and saw no way to prosecute B6-13 without also incriminating himself and bringing everything down. He was a true white hat who only ever wanted to be in a position of power to push strongly for gun control. He asked one thing of Olivia: that she make Mellie act on gun control as one of her first agendas after they got their hearing. The promise made, he then shot himself, which triggered a shift of power back to David Rosen.

David, the long-suffering white-hat lawyer who saw himself stripped of his position a few seasons ago, only to come back and claim the seat as the USADA, was now taking over the investigation into B6-13, which held a higher priority than the treason against Mellie, from which he had to recuse himself. Cyrus' plan to take the oval has gone awry. So while David briefs Olivia's brood on what to expect during their testimony, telling them to give as much of the truth as possible, Cyrus goes to Jake and tells him that they need to get rid of David. Frankly, he wants a hit out on almost all of them at this point. Jake doesn't actively agree, but does go to find Rosen and tries to intimidate him out of continuing the investigation and bringing charges. He reminds him that he shot Cyrus' husband in the back on the street right in front of Rosen, and even raises his gun to him. But David, in his own glorious impersonation of the old Olivia Pope, gives Jake a serious talking to about being good and decent, and actually believing in something for himself and no longer being the puppet of everyone around him. It saves him and Jake disappears.

Jake goes back to Cyrus and tells him that he didn't do as “ordered” because he didn't want to, and that Cyrus can't say a single word to him about it because he isn't strong enough to do the killing himself. At this point, I got a little confused because I could have sworn that we did see Cyrus kill at least one person before through some means. I digress. Cyrus takes the criticism to heart and calls Rosen in in the middle of the night, while Rosen was cuddled up with Abby, so that he can sign a confession and make a deal that will absolve him of any future charges.

David (L) is the stupidest, most trusting lamb on the show. Why meet Cyrus at night? 

It's a trap that tries (and fails) to be rather Shakespearean in nature when he offers Rosen a drink of poisoned wine. Rosen falls to the floor as he is choking but is still alive. It takes too long for Cyrus, and he grabs a pillow and suffocates the man, but only after showing us the many faces of horror that we are to believe have changed him. He can't believe he's killed someone for the first time. After all of those orders to kill, all that bad-wolf bloviating he's done through the years, agony is writ upon his face as he must kill the most honest, upstanding, white hat probably on the entire show.

Meanwhile, as the group awaits a final decision about each of their testimonies to come in, and they all know that they will go to jail based on what they've said, Quinn and the group go to prison to visit Charlie, and perform a solo-visitation-room wedding officiated by Huck. It could be their last chance at tying the knot and Quinn wants to commit even if she'll never see Charlie again. Redhead Abby struggles not to cry and break down now that David is dead because they need to see this over-the-cliff thing all the way through to the fiery crash at the bottom, and if she starts mourning now, she'll never stop. Olivia goes to her father and asks him to stand in the sun with the rest of the group and also testify, to which he says that he is retired. They argue back and forth about the kind of woman he always wanted her to be and her fulfilling that destiny only for him to still say no and say that he is escaping the country. Olivia then hops over to Fitz and challenges him either to fight with her about their past bad decisions or make love to her on their potential last night of freedom. He chooses the latter, but Shonda then fails to give us one last great love scene.

And then they get the call. The call comes in that the decision has been delayed because of a new witness with new testimony. Yes, it is Papa Pope, Eli or Rowan as was his kill name, come to testify before the slew of white men looking at the facts concerning B6-13. In one last great speech for Joe Morton, he pulls out an epic white male privilege speech that sees him gloat about how he, a black man, quietly ran the country for 30 years, deciding presidencies, what laws would and wouldn't get enforced, who lived and who died, and basically every decision and every freedom that most US citizens take for granted, especially the white male ones. He was the true ruler, and he was the architect of such an organization that became bigger than the US Federal government itself. He was command, and you can't take command... But you can give it away. He appeals to their racist/racial bias bones and tells them that while he is command, the author and finisher of the American fate, they don't have to give the US public him. He doesn't have to be the face of this organization which surely must be dismantled and prosecuted. Instead of giving the public a black face in charge of everything, he (and they) sacrifices Jake, the current command. Jake is arrested and thrown in jail (I guess we were supposed to assume that the trial already went down) and everything is then pinned to him and his secret organization. The treason charges against Mellie quietly go away and Olivia tells her that she, too, is going to go away and let Mellie rule how she wants to, instead of being in her ear the whole time. Mellie respects that.

From An Earlier Season. Also This Finale Episode Felt Like Morton's Time To Shine Most

Olivia then goes to Jake in jail and talks to him one last time before he is set to be shipped off to Federal Super-max prison in Indiana (it might have actually been Illinois, but I watched the Cavs-Pacers game right after and my fury at its outcome may have soaked my memory). She asks who he might've been had she left him on that island a few seasons back, left him to stand in the sun and not dragged him back to DC. Like how many licks it takes, the world may never know.

Finally, Olivia calls Cyrus into the oval before officially packing it in and hands Cyrus his resignation papers. He starts talking about how he was never charged with anything and how he is clear and free. But then he shifts and asks Olivia if she can still enjoy a drink. Not a reference to David per se, he insists that after having finally crossed that mad line by killing David, he can no longer get the insanity and brutality of what all they've done over the years out of his blood system no matter what he tries. He can't even enjoy a good drink without thinking of the blood shed. Maybe it is time for him to finally go. He signs the papers and does just that.

We end with Charlie getting out of prison, Huck standing around with no real meaningful ending, Abby finally breaking down into tears because not only are they all not going to jail after their testimony was all redacted in order to charge Jake but Rosen is still super-dead, Mellie signing gun control as one of her first new measures and Olivia meeting Fitz on the sidewalk and doing the old romantic “Hi” thing that every writer has written at least once if they've ever done anything about romance (their, “You had me at hello,” moment). But the final shot is the most curious because it features two little black girls walking through the hall of presidential portraits and seeing Fitz's portrait which is of him behind a window (almost as weird as Obama bushes, but that one had some seriously hilarious symbolism). But then they turn a corner, walk a little farther only to stop and see a portrait of Olivia Pope in a dress that looks very similar to one that Shonda herself has worn before. Some fans have wondered about this ending and Shonda refuses to give the answer, but I think it's quite clear judging from Papa Pope's speech about power and her serving at the pleasure of white people, not to mention her having put two presidents into office and her own love affair with the oval, that this is a shot from far into the future, and she was, at one point, president.

You're A Villain

OK, so now that we're caught up with the recap, I have to say that I absolutely hated this ending. It wasn't satisfying in the least and fell into the trap-trend that I saw possibly developing years ago. First, to talk about the potential trend, I have to mention the wave of reboots. If you look back through some of my posts, I completely called the trend of reboots slowly drifting back into TV now that movies were inundated with them. For certain, if you aren't a cinema/entertainment history buff, you should know that TV often follows the trends set by film, lagging behind by about eight years give or take. Had we seen a few reboots of old shows in the 90s? Sure. But not like what we have seen in the last 15 years with everything from Roseanne to 90210 to Dynasty and Dallas returning to our airwaves in some form or fashion. We are getting reboots and remakes at an alarming rate in a medium that must feed on new ideas in order to thrive. We're also realizing that the actors and actresses we absolutely loved on past series have found hard times after such big success earlier in their careers, leading many of them to be open to come back and retread familiar characters even after saying adieu to them so long ago. And no, hard times doesn't necessarily mean monetary-wise but can be just getting good roles again. So with this, I predicted about two years ago (unfortunately, I don't think it made it on to this blog, so if this is the first time you're reading it, remember where you heard it from) that some popular series of today would start writing series finales that leave a wide berth of story lines and characters to play with for possible reboot or “sequel series” considerations. This series finale completely smacks of that potential future nostalgia-pandering on both ABC and Shonda's behalf.

For starters, for the last two years I have maintained that Olivia was, in fact, the actual villain of the show. Thankfully, she said as much on the penultimate episode. I called that she was a villain after seeing the abortion episode. But note that it was not the act of having the abortion that made her a villain, rather the actions leading up to and beyond it and the way she went about everything in her life at that time that made her the villain. This also marked the show's long-gestating but finally completed transformation into something almost wholly different from what it started as. No, the show did not start as a political spy thriller, which it became in later seasons, but more as a romance/law show. It's crazy to think that while the political theater was always there, Olivia did more lawyering than politics: she helped people escape bad situations, defended the innocent, advocated for proper law and due process, and could try a case in the court of public opinion which would lead to their never being a trial. She and her group found evidence on people that no one else bothered to find, they helped stop terrorist plots and made good on promises to clients who they saw as good and decent people in a bad situation. The White House's role was more as a tool by which Pope could wield clout and get things done for her clients, rather than something she desired so that she could shape the world.

Remember This? Back When We Were All Shipping Olitz and Thinking Side-Chickdom Might Not Be That Bad?

But as the show grew more political in story-line (not in tone. In tone, it was always addressing the social justice issues of today and kicking butt doing it), it shifted away from romance and went full steam with plots focused solely on the white house, even dropping the weekly cases of innocent people in need of help—I think they only had two of those this entire season, if I'm counting correctly and that's even after Quinn took over at OPA.

I said all of that to say that the shift in tone is what allowed the writers to be so lax in writing the finale and have it be perfectly setup for a reboot. See, now they can reboot the show either as the political drama it ended as or as the romance it started as, using the “hi” moment as a jumping-off point for future storytelling involving Liv and Fitz. But I also mentioned the change in the show to highlight the change in Olivia's character from good guy to bad guy, and suggest that the show should have concluded the way I have been suggesting for the last two years: either Olivia Pope dies or she falls on her sword for everyone and is imprisoned for life. We usually demand villains be punished in some way to make a satisfying ending for we viewers. Either that or everything goes back to happy-go-lucky times to give the viewers a happy ending. But I'd contend that Scandal askew-ed both in favor of an ambiguous ending that, again, allows for future stories to go anywhere.

On a show that was not shy about killing off its guest, main and recurring characters, none of the main players died in the finale after doing the most dirt through the seven-season run. Huck, Jake and Eli (as well as the gay secret service dude who killed the president's son) were all known killers throughout the duration of the show over its 11-year span of time, yet they all lived at the end. We also had Charlie and Quinn live happily ever after. Cyrus, the mastermind and right-hand to two presidents, who often communicated with his B6-13 cohorts openly and honestly about whom to kill, got to walk away without a single scratch to tarnish his legacy. The only important person who died was David Rosen, a good guy but someone whose death was, strangely, not felt as much as it probably should have been. Essentially, everybody who did crime and who did the most dirt got away, lived to see another day and lived through the BS. “We all did a bunch of bad stuff and nothing happened.”

The show started as a lovesick woman trying to atone for her past sins (rigging the election) by doing as much good for people that she could while using her White House influence to the people's advantage. But the worst thing is that the series and its finale never fully make this atonement. Yes, B6-13, the long-tentacled Hydra that controlled the government, is gone, but what of the rest of the crimes committed outside of their purview?

Even more troubling than the fact that everyone lived was that we still didn't get that great of an end to the romance. Some can argue that Liv's speech about making love to Fitz answered that question, but did it? Because to me that seemed like an everyday speech they'd make to each other. It wasn't memorable and wasn't a declaration of some higher level of feeling, it was just in the moment. It was far from Fitz's “Slave to you” speech in season 3(?), far from the stand in the sun speech, far from him begging to go to Vermont with her. And as far as it being a “You had me at Hello,” moment, even that Jerry Maguire speech was preceded by Jerry's/Tom Cruise's brilliant commitment plea to her. He had finally decided after all the back and forth that he was in. Here, I feel like they could probably break up the next week.

We Shoulda Known This Was A Different Show When She Went From White Coat to Dominatrix Carmen San Diego

If I'm thinking about it, the same goes for the entire OPA family. Olivia's relationship with the others didn't feel restored to what it once was or even to what it was midway through the season. She still very much seemed lost and without a home at the end of the season, similar to how she found Quinn at the beginning of the series. It would have been great if that was the poetic note to be gotten from the show, but their switch in roles wasn't stressed enough for me throughout the series because Quinn never became white-hat good and strong. Just a few weeks ago she was going to kill Liv. And though we know where Quinn and Charlie are destined, what of everyone else? Will Mellie have her Olivia Pope-esque affair with her own younger black confidante in the one guy (you know, what's his name) or is that done? What about Abby? Where does she go from here after David's death? And why did Huck have that none-ending ending where all he did was basically stand in the background while everyone else got to emote about love, loss, doing the right thing or entering into a new chapter in their lives?

Ultimately, a good series finale is supposed to try to tie up loose ends about the fans' favorite characters. Yes, we know that the characters will probably continue on in their lives in the fictional worlds created by the show's creators, writers and producers, but finales are supposed to feel like the ending chapter in a very long but enjoyable book. But with the amount of loose ends left untied, this felt more like a run-of-the-mill season finale rather than a series finale. And it seemed quite clear from the ending that Shonda is open to revisiting it probably within the next 8-12 years, if only because of how I originally thought the series could end after viewing that electrifying first season way back in 2012: Olivia Pope becomes president. Fitz would be the first man, OPA would still be around and so would Mellie. And Cyrus, after maybe growing used to killing, would decide to resurrect B6-13 out of seeing a need for the organization in the country. And frankly, if this current trend of rebooting TV continues, and Kerry Washington is exposed to the world of so-so roles for actresses (though, the industry is changing and I think she won't have problems finding work, especially now that she's partnering to produce a TV adaptation of Celeste Ng's Little Fires Everywhere), she might be glad to come back and do a 13-episode-a-year season for a few seasons. Most certainly everyone else will want to, maybe with the exception of Cyrus. Outside of him, these are the best roles that any of these actors and actresses have ever played.

As a season finale of a show that will go on an “extended hiatus” for maybe a full three presidential terms, it's fine. But as a series finale like what it purports to be, it, without conflation or exaggeration, is literally in my top five shows that had the worst series finale ever. I should mention that I, unlike most people (apparently) think that Seinfeld still holds the place as the greatest series finale ever when you consider the entirety of the show and the rich silliness of the characters. Them going to prison for not helping a citizen being robbed was the most ironic (and thus, fitting) end to a group of people who lived their lives by trying to slip, cheat and obfuscate the system, and unintentionally doing some of the most infuriating things ever. They were regular people but also terrible regular people which is what made it so great for them to be imprisoned for being the regular people they were. They rarely ever tried to be good people, they just didn't want to be bad. I still contend that it was genius, and that it was able to bring back all of our favorite characters in the series in one of the least contrived or overly done (so many wedding finales) that we, to date, have ever seen. The end to Scandal should be considered a partial scandal in itself, because it definitely needed some fixing.

Either She Was President Or They Credit Her As A Founding Mother Of The New B6-13-less Republic

What do you think? Did you watch the Scandal finale? Did you like it? If you did, why? What were your favorite parts? Where do you think the characters will go? What do you think of the meaning behind the last shot? And would you be down to see Scandal get rebooted a few years down the line? Let me know in the comments below.

Check out my 5-star comedy novel, Yep, I'm Totally Stalking My Ex-Boyfriend. #AhStalking If you’re looking for a scare, check the YA novel #AFuriousWind, the NA novel #DARKER, #BrandNewHome or the bizarre horror #ThePowerOfTen. For those interested in something a little more dramatic and adult, check out #TheWriter. Seasons 1, 2 and 3 are out NOW, exclusively on Amazon. Stay connected here for updates on season 4 coming summer 2018. If you like fast action/crime check out #ADangerousLow. The sequel A New Low will be out in a few months. Look for the mysterious Sci-fi episodic novella series Extraordinary on Amazon. Season 2 of that coming real soon. And look for the mystery novels The Knowledge of Fear #KnowFear and The Man on the Roof #TMOTR coming summer. Twisty novels as good as Gone Girl or The Girl on the Train, you won’t want to miss them. Join us on Goodreads to talk about books and TV, and subscribe to and follow my blog with that Google+ button to the right.

Until next time, “Well, well, lovers of liberty. You've hung in there for six years and seven twisty, good, OMG seasons. Now, maybe it's time for you—”

'Wait, did we not kill Sally Langston either? And after she got away with killing her husband?'

“We should call somebody about this.”

'Command?'

“That'll work. Wait, what's his number?”

'Don't worry. It's been handled.'

P.S. Wow! Everybody got to live. This is literally the reverse of Hamlet. I have to hand it to Shonda, she said she'd only have the show run for seven seasons, and she kept her word, even though it didn't quite satisfy all the cravings. Even though I didn't like the last two and a half seasons, I stuck it out (I usually do once I commit to a show. Can't wait to finally break up with Grey's and Once Upon a Time some day), and you tried your best to deliver. And sometimes your best is all that someone can ask for. Well done!

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That's All Folks... For Now #AmericanIdol #IdolFinale #Series Finale #EndOfAnEra #FOX

That's All Folks... For Now #AmericanIdol #IdolFinale #Series Finale #EndOfAnEra #FOX

All pictures courtesy of FOX unless otherwise noted 

Well, it finally happened. The thing many people thought might never occur happened on Thursday night, April 7, 2016. That was the day that music, uh... not died but retired from competition. OK, that wasn't a good metaphor. Wait, did that qualify as a metaphor at all? Hm? As a writer, I'm quite confused. Let's just move away from grammar semantics and get on with the review, shall we.

Finally (and sadly) after 15 seasons of hopefuls, 15 seasons of cheers, 15 seasons of pitchy notes and questionable runs, 15 seasons of people who couldn't sing and people who could literally sing the phone book, 15 seasons of crowning musical achievements, FOX's American Idol has come to an end. To say that an era has ended is an understatement, but it is also the most apt and direct words for the series finale of a show that had at its outset become an American phenomenon. Hundreds of hours, more viewers than the broadcast network had ever seen and millions of fangirls and boys fostered a show for over a decade, one many people doubted could even make an impact in the TV landscape when it first premiered back in 2002. To honor Idol the network went with a full three night slate beginning on Tuesday with an hour and a half special focused on the history of Idol. And so too, we begin there.

Remembering the early days of Idol served as a time warp into a past that seems so distant now that it is hard to believe a show like this ever existed before immediate fan reaction similar to what we get off Facebook, Twitter, Youtube and the like. We're talking a time in which the internet was still on the expanse in many homes across America and certainly wasn't the center of our lives that many people both young and old find it to be today. There, in the digital quiet post-911 world the country looked for something new and heart-warming around which to galvanize. After the overwhelming success of many broadcast networks in the 90s, the networks began to look elsewhere for the next great boom of television programming. The family sitcom boom was coming to an end and adult comedies like Seinfeld and Friends were either already gone or on their way out. But, more importantly, with the success of HBO's prison drama Oz quickly followed by the ratings-blister of The Sopranos, networks slowly realized that they'd soon have unprecedented competition from cable networks. To keep viewers and turn a profit, they'd have to shift their paradigms and seek out newer ways to entertain. In came the reality competition.

Not that American Idol was the first, it did capitalize on a coming revolution of viewer/fan interaction at every level of the competition. A successful British show, Pop Idol used the same format to streamline singers into the changing music industry. When bringing the show to American TV, they kept the format but knew they'd have to make some changes in order to make it fit. One of the things not addressed in the 90-minute trip down memory lane was the religious backlash to the very name of the show. American Idol was seen as an affront to many religions, especially Christianity; a sacrilege that encouraged the worship of false idols. This, coupled with the feeling that it amounted to another Star Search ripoff--a show that had long seen its heyday and faded into pop culture annals--fostered hate in many minds before it aired one episode. Its back already against the wall, FOX dared treat it worse by scheduling it as a summer show, once the death-knell for many series. Historically, summer shows garnered fewer viewers as people busied themselves with outdoor activities, parties, and actually living away from things like computer and cellphone screens. Just imagine, a day and age where people actually went and visited each other to talk rather than texting, tweeting, or Skyping their close ones (both in relationship and proximity). 

An abbreviated season much like this final season, many people didn't even tune in to the competition until later rounds when the show gained notoriety for its few celebrity followers. Even I didn't tune in until only six contestants remained. But by the time Justin Guarini and Kelly Clarkson stood on the finale stage together, FOX knew it had a hit on its hands as millions watched the first American Idol be crowned. From then on, people would tune in season after season in hopes of recapturing their own "Moment Like This" celebration.

Just as most writers and readers will tell you, a good story is nothing without great characters. And while the Idol hopefuls changed with each season, the people more and more viewers began to tune in for sat behind a table and voiced listener's truth. Originally questioned as a liability, Simon Cowell's truthful British bite and ascorbic attitude drew nearly as many people as the talented singers. Viewers watched to see what Simon would say either to the would-be Idols or to his fellow judges Randy Jackson and Paula Abdul who often disagreed with him. Paula brought a light to the judges' table that was desperately needed when crushing the dreams of fellow Americans. Randy brought a comedic flair and lightheartedness to the panel that could both deliver the truth while being gentle to those who believed they had talent. This blend of personalities helped to propel the show to what it was even when the talent was questionable at times.

Despite Randy's best efforts, none of them could last as long as host Ryan Seacrest who served as the sole host for 14 of the 15 seasons. Going from a once barely known radio host to a media mogul, he's established a brand that reaches far beyond Idol. Under his RSP production company he serves as producer on Keeping Up With the Kardashians, Shahs of Sunset and the recent NBC hit, Shades of Blue. He is now just as synonymous with American Idol as anyone and has seen the coming and going of multiple judges and changes in the format. One thing always remained the same: people tuned in weekly for the story of someone's rise to success as a star was born.

With a very abbreviated season that saw the live shows of American Idol condensed down to one episode a week, the 15th season of Idol came down to three artists which narrowed even farther on Wednesday night's live performance. Left were Mississippi country boy Trent Harmon whose perfectly tamed falsetto made young girls across America swoon; and La'Porsha Renae, the single mother survivor with a big voice and even bigger hair. While I thought the performances were good, I didn't like Trent's song and future first single. I actually thought it felt too old school and not what I would see as his brand. Even more to the point, I don't see him as being a country music artist as some of the people on the show have suggested. Instead, I think he would do much better as a pop artist in the same vein as Justin Timberlake, Charlie Puth, or even a much better Justin Bieber. His voice lends itself better to pop (maybe a Taylor Swift brand of Country Pop) especially with his masterful use of falsetto. I thought La'Porsha's song was better suited for her and sounded more current but it still lacked a certain vibrance that other first songs from potential Idol winners had. Of course nothing was ever more suitable for any of the potential winners than Kelly Clarkson's "A Moment Like This," but I digress.

Performing three times, they also re-performed a past song from weeks prior--Trent choosing Sia's "Chandelier" and La'Porsha choosing "Diamonds"--as well as a song chosen specifically by the exec producer. They saddled Trent with Rod Stewart's "If You Don't Know Me By Now" and La'Porsha with Dionne Warwick's version of "A House Is Not A Home", neither of which blew me away. In some ways, I feel that the performances on Wednesday weren't as good maybe because of the overwhelming moment of this being the finale. The air felt drained from the contestants as everyone geared up for the massive concert that was Thursday's finale.

And boy what a finale it was. Everybody and they momma showed up for this thing. We opened not with a performance but with a quick speech from President Obama on the virtues of voting and how if people can be moved to vote for their favored American Idol, then they should be able and eager to do the same thing when it comes time to vote in November for president. Frankly, if voting for president was as simple as calling or texting or tweeting in for the next American Idol, I could see more people exercising their given right. Unfortunately it ain't and we'll still get plenty of people who won't vote for whatever reason.

Then came the real show. It started with the two finalists singing onstage together and slowly widened to reveal all of the top ten from the season before taking in a panoramic shot of the entire stage that would see dozens upon dozens of past competitors from the top ten flooding the stage to unite as one huge Idol choir dressed in all white like angels or psych ward patients. From there, we knew we were in for a huge night packed with big returns and nostalgia galore.

Look, Ryan, I got a haircut. 

First came the callback to the also-ran, long-suffering, once co-host Brian Dunkelman who, in the most awkward part of the night, came out to make a joke about how Seacrest and Idol have sputtered along without him for the last 14 seasons. The crowd's reaction was more mixed than Barack Obama as it seemed that some people in the crowd took it almost as a slight to the show rather than a cute, chuckle-inducing joke about the show's success. This even elicited Seacrest to give his rival a pity clap to gen up applause and laughter for Dunkelman's appearance. Listen, I wanted him to come back and expected it to be a little awkward, but that was downright cringe-worthy. After having seen the transformation from frosted tip Abercrombie and Fitch heaven to subdued but suave, rich 40-something that Seacrest underwent during his years, it was a little sad to see Dunkelman appear as if he had essentially just stepped out of a time machine that brought him to the future and added a few pounds. Virtually the same hair, the same sense of humor, the same bargain-warehouse suit and, even worse, the same sense of "I don't really belong nor want to be here" that he had in the first season played out like a reunion between you and that one friend you had in high school that you only now realize was weird as hell and wasn't really a friend.

With those few minutes out of the way, Dunkelman took his rightful seat down in the audience where he stayed quiet for the remainder of the night as more performances began. Nearly every past judge performed on the show, videoed in or appeared just to say high with the exception of Mariah Carey (I think. I might have missed her as I did have a bathroom break). Kara Dioguardi performed a Pink hit with Jordin Sparks and another Idol alum singing backup for her. Keith Urban performed a duet with Carrie Underwood that was a rock country mix. Harry Connick Jr. performed the old classic "What a Wonderful World" with a young girl from New Orleans in an effort to remember the influence that Idol Gives Back had on natural disasters like Hurricane Katrina. In one of the most show-stopping performances of the night, Jennifer Lopez performed her new song "Ain't Ya Mama" while giving us all the ass we could ever hope for in what served partially as a sneak peek at her Vegas show. Ellen, Steven Tyler and Nicki Minaj all videoed in their memories of being on the show and how they enjoyed the experience. Lastly, Randy and Paula emerged onto the stage to give Ryan a gift as the only one to make it from the first episode to the last. Yes, another strange moment, they gifted him the big American Idol neon light sign. Yep, the one that lights up and takes more than half a dozen people to cart around. Honestly, if I was Ryan I don't know what I'd do with that thing. I might be so inclined as to actually keep it as it is the symbol of the one thing that changed my life forever.

The biggest will he/won't he pseudo-surprise (TMZ ruined it a day earlier) came when Simon snuck up from behind to surprise Ryan. Paula not the only one who had a tumultuous relationship with Cowell, Ryan also sparred back and forth with the Brit many a-times during the show, while forming a long-lasting bond outside of the lights and the stage. Returning cloaked in gray both in his suit color and his scruffy beard, Simon gave us all one last look at that beautiful man-cleavage before he makes his triumphant return to judging this summer on America's Got Talent. They chuckled and laughed about the good ol' times before Paula left, then Simon the following year, and reminded us of how great the chemistry was between them before the band broke up.

And as an aside to the evening highlighting why the show became such a huge success, they not only showed a montage of some of the less than stellar contestants, but ended said montage with a live performance of "She Bangs" by none other than the now-married William Hung, proving that the good singers weren't the only ones to bolster the show's viewership.

The Three Divas

But the night ultimately belonged to the myriad of contestants both past and present who performed in the 2+ hours of the broadcast. We saw a return of season three's 3 divas with a performance from Fantasia, Jennifer Hudson and the oft-forgotten third diva Latoya London who looked and sounded just as good now as she did back then. We also saw a return from Bo Bice, the runner-up rocker to Carrie Underwood's Idol win who looked far different now than what he did before (hair cut and proper like an office worker). He, along with other rocker notables such as Chris Daughtry, Constantine and Caleb Johnson (and a few more) took the stage to perform a rock medley unlike ever seen before.

Rock Out! 

Many of the country singers they had pass through the ranks including Scotty McCreery, Kellie Pickler and Lauren Alaina came out for a hootin' tootin' hoedown-esque line dancing hit. 

A Serious Country Throwdown

And pretty much every white guy with a guitar that had ever stood on stage and sung his way not just into the top ten but often to the crown of American Idol showed up in a medley of songs that spanned their genres from country to rock, including Phillip Phillips, Lee Dewyze, David Cook and Kris Allen.

All The White Guys With Guitars You Could Ever Hope For

Unfortunately, there were no other big genres that had their own play at the show as much of the other stars appearances came in a hodgepodge of music that took us from girls singing about having a crush on another woman because that woman reminds her of a man, to slow music talking about hope and belief to a Diva-filled choral recall back to Whitney Houston's rendition of "Joy to the World." Between Lopez's striptease and Colton's praise be to God song, the night took us from the strip club to church on Christmas morning and back again.

Both Jessica Sanchez and Joshua Ledet emerged from their youtube channels to remind us all that even though Phillip Phillips is good ("Home" was my 2012 Olympics jam!) it should have come down to the two singers who could really blow. Why the hell aren't they being played all over the radio right now? Jordin Sparks came and gave us as much body as we could ever handle in a black pants suit, and that was before Lopez came on stage. She sang a duet of her hit song "No Air" with Justin Guarini who reminded us all that he was not only still alive but that he could do something other than hock the sweet taste of Diet Dr. Pepper (it's the sweet one!).

Ruben also sang a duet with Amber Holcomb. Candice Glover made an appearance in one song, and so did Clay Aiken who was iffy about coming back after bad-mouthing the show earlier in the season. Katharine McPhee performed, adding to her Idol finale season performance haul, and Kelly Clarkson who couldn't be there live because she was popping out a tiny human of her own, had a pre-recorded video of her performing a medley of her hits taped weeks back when she guest-judged. Even Taylor Hicks showed up in what had to be the brightest, most Downsouth-Black-man Easter Sunday Church suit jacket I've ever seen a white man not named Craig Sager wear.

Both Diana Degarmo and her new husband Ace Young performed and boy does it look like marriage suits them well. Pia Toscano came out to remind us that yes, she can really sing, too. An embarrassment of riches, they had tons of past contestants singing and dancing and even had room to bring back another notable comic relief contestant, the famous old black guy who auditioned with his original song "Pants On The Ground." Of course they had room for last season's winner Nick Fradiani, as well as Melinda Doolittle, Kree Harrison and Carly Smithson. They literally had everyone who had ever performed on the stage, on the stage... except for Sanjaya.

In probably the funniest and most awkward presence of the night (I say presence because I don't know what else to call it), Sanjaya was shown repeatedly sitting in the audience with a plain purple shirt enjoying the festivities. Probably the only idol there who didn't hop on stage in the multiple showcases throughout the night, I'm half-certain he didn't perform in the opening number with all of them in white. In fact, the producers seemed so ticked by his presence that they didn't even talk to him as he sat in a visible sight-line for the cameras. He put his hair up into a strange rubber-banded faux-hawk which I'm sure the people sitting behind him enjoyed all night. Maybe residual hatred for him being at the center of the Idol scandal that, in my opinion, ultimately brought the show down still lingered?

See my purple shirt? What About my faux-hawk. Sanjaya! 

For those that don't remember, Sanjaya did terribly in the live shows and was repeatedly told by Simon that he couldn't sing (in some cases even questioning why they put him through from Hollywood week). By a certain round, he had not only stayed while other far more worthy singers went home, but seemed to give up trying to be anything other than a joke. It was highly publicized then that it had become viral for people who hated the show to try voting the worst singer to the ultimate throne in an attempt to kill the show (because the world, no matter how hard we try to be nice, is still filled with careless donkeys). After that, not only did viewership go down, but the judges started to exit and the infamous trend known as White Guy With a Guitar began to dominate the show, causing even more viewers to exit. Seeing Sanjaya was actually kind of sad, but also hilarious as it captured in one great image just why the show both got to be so popular and why it ultimately has come to its death: the influence of viewers is a double-edged sword.

Yes, Justin Guarini is at the end there. 

In all, this was the absolute best that Idol had to offer. With the exception of a few fan favorites missing from action (Adam Lambert couldn't be there as he was filming something in Canada I believe; hey, everybody from the show isn't still in music or famous) you can't really ask for a better send-off for a show that reshaped American culture and spawned countless copycats (yes, I'm looking at you The Voice and defunct The X-factor).

Oh wait! Before we wrap up, what about the winner. Well, the final winner of American Idol the farewell season, between La'Porsha and Trent was....................... Trent Harmon. That's right, the country boy with the smooth falsetto came back to be the final White Guy With a Guitar that the show would see, book-ending the show with a white male to go along with the white female that won the first season, proving just what we all knew: America loves white people. Oh, don't get your panties in a bunch Caucasians, if you gasped in horror instead of laughing at that joke, you're more uptight than any Black Lives Matter protester could ever suspect. No, I'm not saying nor implying that this was a judgment based on race. To the contrary, I thought Trent was quite good and it might surprise you that two out of my top four choices from Hollywood week made it to the top two and all made it to the top fourteen: La'Porsha, Trent, Thomas Stringfellow and I really wanted Sonika Vaid to make it to the top three (that was my young woman crush of the season).

Congratulations Trent Harmon

Just as good of a winner as any, Trent sobbed and pulled it together to perform, extolling the virtues of hard work in the process. His whimper of "I've worked so hard and I never wanted to take this for granted, my gift for granted. I just always wanted to try to use it as best I could," (paraphrased) was ultimately what Idol was all about. Idol, for all of its faults and low seasons, for all of its bad and stereotypical winners, for every singer that we just knew was going to win and lost, and every talentless belter that made it through to the judges, was always about people pushing through, fighting, struggling and achieving the best success they could imagine. It was about the use of a gift, God-given or otherwise, that allowed others to feel, to emote and entertained millions. Idol encapsulated the spirit of determination that all of us both young and old seek to have when chasing after a dream. Taking us on a journey that started at a stage where hope and some talent was all one had (and not everyone was even sure about that talent) to the heights of stardom where millions of people get exposed to your gift and all the work in-between, Idol made for amazing family TV that made even the most ardent pessimist believe, even for a second, that anything was possible, so long as you're willing to dedicate your all to it.

In many ways, as I struggle through this year and try to figure out if I should continue to try to write and pursue my dreams or not (a dream I once had before it was taken from me), I often find myself more than ever searching for nuggets of hope such as Idol gave for 14 years. It is not easy to create something for entertainment of another, whether that be a song, a performance, the written word or any visual art. It is even more difficult to get someone to believe in that which you've created, to find the people who will bolster your belief in your own talents before you end up giving up. But the hardest and most difficult thing of all is to try deciphering not only if you actually do have the talent you think you do, but if you're using it right, pushing yourself hard enough, working diligently to perfect such a craft. In a world so scarce of true validation, to search for it from outside of one's self is often laughed at or brushed off in any form. A single, small, infantile wish to want, to seek, to become, to use what you think can change the world can become a sufferance so few are willing and able to bear, some never achieving that elusive dream, some not working hard enough, some just not lucky enough. But when someone, anyone breaks through the struggle to earn such accolades, after we've seen the suffering, the heartache, the sickness, the pain, it helps us all to breathe, to laugh and to be proud that at least someone made it. It helps to know that hard work and determination are still appreciated and can still accomplish great things in a time where fame, prestige and accolades are so easily given away to the latest fad.

The Face Of Hope For Even In Losing You're On Your Way To A Big Win

With that said, yes, La'Porsha will also get her own recording contract, though she won't get nearly as much money as Trent will his first time out. Fret not Afro-wig fans (no way in hell La'Porsha was ever gonna convince me or anybody else that that was her real hair. Not believing it) for plenty of non-Idol winners have gone on to have bigger careers than some of the winners themselves. It'll take a lot more hard work, determination and rubbing elbows with the right people but she can make it. Hell, if you're on the Idol stage, you're already halfway there.

And to end this overly long post (I really didn't intend on covering the Idol history but what the heck!), we've gotta speculate the hell outta that last comment from Ryan Seacrest. This dude straight Marvel-movied us with his post-credits comment. Like, how are you gonna sneak in a twist ending in the final seconds of the series finale. "...For now." This man made me immediately think of the too-damn-catchy Justin Bieber song "What Do You mean?" No joke, I stayed up an hour past my usual bed time replaying that scene half-dreaming of Justin Bieber materializing from the confetti to sing that refrain. Matter o' fact, writin' about it now got me thinkin' about it again. Damn! Seacrest got me thinkin' Idol is planning a Jay-Z style comeback. The show is not gonna stay gone for four years or so then return like it never left, is it? Idol not runnin' off to play Major League Baseball for a season before it come back and win three more championships, is it? Idol ain't about to Jay Leno us and come back with the same exact show but 90 minutes earlier every night, is it? I don't know. It's very suspicious.

And So The Lights Go Out 

OK, I've gotta get outta here. I've wasted enough of your time. What did you think? Did you watch the American Idol series finale? Was I wrong and you actually did see Sanjaya up there singing at one point? Don't call me out for not listing everybody who was there, I know I missed some people and I'm sorry if that contestant was your favorite. How many of those people do you think are still singing as their primary profession? And what, if anything, did you think the show was missing? Let me know in the comments below (hint: click the no comments button if you see no comments).

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Until next time, "Some people wait a lifetime for a moment--"

'Sorry, Kelly, but we're gonna try finishing these live shows up in about one month, so if you could just hurry it up! Thanks!'

P.S. Listen, I'm not trying to complain and I know that the show's ratings weren't stellar this year but really? Y'all had the auditioning process last for two months, two days each week, but you cut the live shows to four or five episodes? That's like having to bury your favorite loved one in a suit that's too small with a funeral that lasts for only 10 minutes because you gotta be outta the church so the Glory dancers can have their meeting. It's just wrong.

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