My
Predictions Hold True, Unfortunately #JusticeLeague #recap #review
#comicbookmovie #DC #WarnerBrothers
All pictures courtesy of Warner Brothers and DC studios
Sigh!
Head shake. What to say about this movie? See, this is one of those
times where I really wish I actually had a good camera to film myself
or at least a good microphone on my computer so that I could record
myself and post a long 20-minute rant to Youtube about this movie.
But I don’t, so I can’t. Knowing the circumstances surrounding
the making of this film, I don’t want to go all the way in
on the film because I want to at least have some respect for the
people behind the scenes and in front of the camera. At the end of
the day, they are all just people. And they all have passion for
something (though I, having some connections at WB, could make the
argument that they don’t all have passion for comic book movies)
and they all have their own ideas about what and how things should
go, what they should be, how to create magic. And there was some
sorrow and some loss on the way—RIP, and my sincerest condolences
to the Snyders and their family. I know it couldn’t possibly have
been anything other than difficult dealing with the death of their
daughter and then having to try working on a film that deals with
fear, death and resurrection and trying to be the hope and light in
people’s lives. So, as a fan of these characters I would (and I
know I’ll get flack for it) ask that other fans be more considerate
in their criticism of Zack Snyder about this film. I am not saying he
is above reproach here. Far from it. But just remember that the
personal stuff coupled with the fan hate may have helped in
demolishing what little vision he had for this project even before
the Whedon reshoots. OK? So, with all of that said, is Justice League
better than the critics are making out, or was it another surefire
miss on DC/WB’s part? Read on through this spoiler-filled review to
find out (I’ll warn you when we start getting into spoiler
territory).
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| Wanna Join My Band? Let's Talk Over Brunch |
So,
from here we move to some trailer stuff without revealing the entire
plot. This villain Steppenwolf is from a different planet and comes
to the world to, um... I don’t really know what his motivation was.
I guess it was to rule the world and/or make this world into his own
world, but in both cases neither reason was given that much weight.
But what you do need to know is that to do his plan he has these
helpers called parademons, which you saw in BvS during the Batman
nightmare. Anyway, he also needs these three boxes they call the
Mother Boxes which didn’t appear in the original theatrical release
of BvS but apparently did make an appearance in the extended R-rated
three-hour version. These boxes are a conundrum as well, but they are
essentially cubes of energy that can bond together to form the
tesseract. I’m sorry, not the tesseract—that’s Marvel. I was
trying to say the tesseract. The tesseract? Damn it, I keep trying
not to say the tesseract but all my fingers will allow me to type is
the tesseract. Basically, it’s a big cube of power that is able to
destroy and create at the same time, ie. God in a box.
What’s my grade? I give it a D.
I know, this is far different than how I usually recap/review movies
but I’m trying to cut down on spoilers for all you 21 subscribers I
have. Hi! So, now we are going to go into spoilers, so you are
forewarned.
SPOILERS
AHEAD!
This
film was forgettable. The worst thing about this film is that it was
not only forgettable, but it was bad and forgettable. OK, I said a
week ago that I thought Thor: Ragnarok was forgettable, but now that
a week has gone by, I can still remember some stuff from that film.
In fact, I can still remember the entirety of the film. And it was
good. Here, I can’t even remember the actual ending of this movie
before the two credit scenes. I remember the boss battle but the
denouement after that? I don’t know. I don’t know what Aquaman
did or where he went, what happened to the mother boxes, what
happened to the Flash or any of that stuff. I do remember a Knights
of the Round Table reference with Batman and Wonder Woman in Wayne
Manor but that was about it. Oh, and Cyborg developed some more
armor. But what was Superman doing after the Kent farm move? I don’t
know.
So,
here’s the deal, this movie was bad. Not as bad as Suicide Squad
but near close, and it troubles me that this actually got a higher
rating than BvS because if I’m comparing the two, this was much
worse. Yes, fans complained about the darkness in both tone and
picture quality of BvS but when looking back on that film, at least
the tone stayed consistent and felt OK for what the film ultimately
turned out to be. Here, the mixture of tones with comedy and darkness
and grounded and comic bookish felt like they were trying to
constantly add more and more salt and pepper. When it got too salty,
they’d add water to cut down on the salt. When it got too peppery?
They’d add water to cut down on the pepper. And they just kept
adding and adding until it made the whole tone bland on all sides.
Some people will say that this was funny. Eh! Not really. It had a
few good jokes but a lot of them were misfires to me in the same vein
as this year’s earlier Guardians of the Galaxy and Spider-man:
Homecoming. It just felt bland and generic and, interestingly enough,
like something we’ve already seen. Some people might say that it’s
hard to hate, but no it isn’t. In an era in which we are so
niche-oriented, so choose-a-side-oriented, a film that rides the
fence is so aggravating that I can totally hate this film. But I’m
actively trying not to hate it.
The
editing leads directly into pacing. To me, all of the DCEU films have
had a problem with pacing, with SS being the biggest offender,
followed by a tie between WW and BvS. In my WW review/recap, I said
that they could’ve easily taken out about an hour or so of the film
and would’ve lost nothing. Same goes for BvS. But in JL, they
commit the same crime as SS where it felt like they were rushing.
This movie is less than two hours, making it the shortest runtime of
all five DCEU films which is the strangest, stupidest thing probably
ever. So you’re saying that individual films for superheroes are
long as hell but when they all team up, they can get everything done
in less than two hours? Really? And the strange time constraints set
within the film made the final battle bizarre to me because of the
family. I’ll get to the family later, but just know that the pacing
here was too fast at some points and too slow at other parts. And the
worst thing is that it feels like, even though there is a ton of
stuff going on, it never really feels like anything actually happens
in the film, except a few fights. There is no tension which I will
talk about later during the plotting section.
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| This WW Is Not The One You Get In JL |
Next
we have the characters. OK, so we get the main characters of the JL
but they are hardly developed. WW, coming from her own film, is once
again watered down in my opinion. Yes, she is like the mother hen of
the team, but her character seems all over the place for an Amazon
that has been living in the world of men for a century. The tension
between her and Batman is good but outside of that I didn’t really
feel anything for her. It’s strange but as much as I disliked WW I
would’ve preferred seeing that version of the character over this.
And yes, she was oversexualized which I will talk about later.
Batman,
even though he was the father of the team, felt bland. Where as in
BvS he actually felt like a jaded superhero, someone who’s been
doing this for a long while, someone who has seen some really crazy
stuff, here he doesn’t come off as that at all. I’m not sure if
Ben had already checked out after fans and critics didn’t like BvS
(I will totally pull out that sad Batfleck meme again) or if this is
just how the character was written but he felt more like he didn’t
care about what they were doing than anything. Now that I think about
it, the film comes off as so bland because there is no conviction
about anything from anybody, including the villain. Yes, he wants to
rule the world or whatever but the guy had a chance to do that the
last time and wimped out and fled. So, it’s like, eh! He’ll
probably flee again if he’s given the chance. And you know what? He
sorta does. They didn’t even kill the villain. They let him be
taken up in a tractor beam expecting for the parademons to have
killed him.
I’m
getting off on a tangent. Just know that if you liked Affleck’s
portrayal of Bats in BvS (which was one of the things I actually did
enjoy), you aren’t getting the same one here. He looks good in the
suit but he’s not given much of anything to do in any of the
fights. In fact, he isn’t even given a cool parademon fight like
how he was beating up the guards and shooting them in BvS during that
nightmare sequence. He doesn’t use the same armor that he had on
when fighting Superman and just stands around, once again, with a gun
in his hand shooting down these insect-like creatures. What the
frick! Didn’t we complain about Batman using a gun? In the film,
they even make it a point to mention a few times that there is this
particular chime or frequency that drives the parademons crazy and
can kill them, so Alfred will have it installed into the suit. But
does Batman ever use it in the final battle? If he did, I don’t
remember that.
Aquaman
was rather a waste. Was he cool? I guess. He had some pretty nice
poster shots, but outside of that he was just another punching bag
for the other supers. Steppenwolf throws him around, he’s no match
for Superman and even his underwater fight didn’t get me that
jazzed for his solo movie coming out in 11 months. Wait, 11 months?
Holy crap! That is a hella-long time. I just looked it up. Hm? Maybe
it’s good that DC doesn’t have another film coming out next year
because... Well, just wait for my predictions at the end of the
article.
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| Aquaman. Sorry It Is So Dark |
Cyborg
was just OK. I get the reason why they used him and not, say, the
black Green Lantern but even with the mother boxes being part of him,
I still didn’t quite get why he was so willing to become a
superhero after one good talking to by Diana. Was he really motivated
by his father being taken or was that just a thing that happened?
This is never really made all that clear. And he had the lamest
introduction of his powers probably ever. He just turned on his heel
blasters to fly and was like, “I couldn’t do that last night.”
Really? Hm. They wasted Joe Morton who is brilliant on Scandal. There
isn’t really a big reveal of Cyborg either. Yes, he’s wearing a
hoodie and whatnot during the first half of the movie, but when we
see the rest of his body it isn’t during some amazing reveal, it’s
just, “Oh, there’s Cyborg being all metallic and stuff.” And
the weirdest part was about his interaction with the mother boxes,
specifically where the hell it came from. I know he and his father
had it in BvS but how’d they find it? Never explained. There’s
not really much I could say about him even though he’s supposed to
be somewhat of the heart of the team before Superman comes back.
Which
brings us to the only plot twist in this film, which isn’t really a
twist at all. Yes, Superman is back. And by back I mean he’s back
to Man of Steel levels. Look, I’ll admit that it’s been a few
years since MoS came out and most people were so disgusted with that
movie that they actively tried to forget it, and that BvS is the
freshest in people’s minds so they naturally go to the joylessness
of the character in that movie. But with that said, if you go back
and watch MoS again, you will see that there was some joy in the
character, just not a lot. He did smile and he did make a few jokes
here and there, and we even got that promising smile at the end of
the film between him and Lois. But with the destruction porn
overshadowing much of the takeaway from that film, most critics don’t
remember those parts of the film and are inclined to say that this
new Superman, the resurrected one, is much better. He is not. He’s
about the same, honestly. But he’s not even in the movie long
enough to be of any consequence character-wise. We spend, on my
count, four scenes with him, with the third scene being the
climax/final battle. And there, his quips seem more arrogant than
funny. The fact that he’s talking about how they’re still having
such a tough time dealing with Steppenwolf when he comes in
repeatedly to punch the guy drunk like it ain’t nothin’ feels
more diminishing to the other characters than uplifting to his
character. It became another one of those comic book debate
quandaries that fans have had for years: if superman is really
“super” then why would he need anybody else helping him? It’s
literally the same debate had between Jerry and George on an episode
of Seinfeld. It negates the entirety of the team coming together, and
if he wasn’t dead, this movie wouldn’t actually exist. Instead,
it’d be MoS 2.
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| Steppenwolf |
The
final character is Steppenwolf who leads us more into the plot
because they tie so closely together. Steppenwolf is the villain who
seems to have little to no purpose. Again his motivations are vague.
I guess he wants to take over the world but I can’t quite figure
out why. Unlike, say General Zod in MoS or even Ares (to some extent)
in WW, we don’t get the same feel that this guy has a true purpose
behind what he is doing and thus makes the entirety of pursuing him
and trying to stop him as bland and pointless as this very review has
been so far. As a side note, has anyone else noticed that every
villain that has been featured in the mainstream of the DCEU (that
means not including SS) has been a general of some sort? I would even
make the case that Doomsday is really just a cobbling together of Zod
and Luthor’s DNA, so he’s technically still a general. But Ares,
Zod and now Steppenwolf are all generals. This is what I mean when I
say that we most likely have reached comic book oversaturaion. It’s
similar to how when we enter a recession in the economy but no one
really knows it’s a recession until a few months in when the
government economists gather all of the info from the last few months
and can finally announce, “Yeah, we are actually in a recession.”
The announcement always comes months into the actual recession. I am
announcing it now that we are in a comic-book-movie market
oversaturation. You all can doubt me if you want to, but when films
keep recycling the same exact plot points, they either need a
disruptor or they are going to dramatically decline. Granted, a few
female-led superheroes will disrupt the industry and keep it bumping
along for a little while, but it’s still on the decline.
Anyway,
back to Steppenwolf. Steppenwolf’s motivations are so vague and
bland—we’re talkin’ Marvel-villain bland—that they can be
easily explained in a rather clumsy Diana storytelling sequence. If
you recall the opening storytime in WW where Hippolyta tells little
Diana the story about man and the island and why the Amazons are
there now, they did a fine job of going all the way from one point to
the next and giving us a coherent backstory. But in JL we have Diana
and Bruce strolling down the side of Wayne’s little pond as she
sorta jumps around in the story and gives us this strange Lord of the
Rings-esque tale of how, apparently, Stepps has been on earth before
and the Atlantians, the Amazons and the regular humans all fought
together to defeat him. Even the gods joined and he was defeated and
embarrassed because his soldiers forced him to retreat to live
another day rather than die on the battlefield. In this story we also
get a quick glaze-over of who and what the parademons are by seeing
people turn into these insect-like things. And it’s basically like,
“OK, you’re all set audience.” That’s it. There’s no
build-up of his evil, there’s little explanation of why he wants to
conquer these planets, it just tells us that this guy is bad, the
whole world came together to defeat him and that the three mother
boxes were all separated amongst the three main groups in order to
keep Steppenwolf from getting them. And therein lies one of the
problems.
So,
we had that little intro which, if they had better writers/editors,
they would’ve known that that story should’ve gone at the
beginning of the film instead of the Superman death thing. We’ve
already seen BvS and SS which both show us that Supes is dead, so we
don’t need a third reminder that, “Holy crap! Superman is dead.”
Start the film with the battle against Steppenwolf and have him make
this grand declaration about how he will be back and about how he
will come back stronger and better and the world will be powerless to
stop him and all of that. Do it that way and you don’t need the
narration. Have one grand 300-esque battle without explanation, then
have Diana tell the story later and it all makes much more sense and
has a better flow. But no. Instead they fit his story in with a tiny
slip-in of everything that needs to be known about him, which really
is nothing. But even worse, the entirety of the importance of all of
the three big groups getting together is negated by how easily
Steppenwolf finds the boxes. Dude literally has the first box within
five minutes of getting back to earth, the second box about five
runtime-minutes later and has the third one about an hour into the
film (he arrives in the film at maybe 30 minutes in. And the taking
of the boxes, outside of the one guarded by the Amazons, is so
incredibly easy that it’s frustrating. For god’s sake, he takes
the third box while the entire group is outside dealing with the
resurrected Superman. They basically just let him have that. Like,
Batman or the Flash or someone couldn’t have grabbed it before
leaving? Let’s just leave this giant delicious cookie in the middle
of the Cookie Monster’s table and expect him not to eat it. Dumb!
And let’s not even get into the fact that Zod’s spaceship (even
though I could’ve sworn the entirety of that crap got sucked into
the phantom zone in MoS) is still sitting in the middle of downtown
Metropolis. Sigh. God, there’s just so much here. There’s always
too much to talk about in these DC films.
They
couldn’t be bothered to give Stepps a real personality, save but to
make him a huge monster. And even more to the point, if you saw the
extended version of BvS or the deleted scenes, then you probably saw
a Steppenwolf that looked nothing like the one that they ultimtely
used in the film. In that sense, I guess I can see why they deleted
him from BvS.
So
the plot is to resurrect Superman (the pure “god” that will fight
with the others), and stop Steppenwolf. That’s it. That’s the
movie. Granted, I know all superhero films can essentially be reduced
to that but here that is literally all that happens. There’s barely
any chemistry built between the team members and even the stuff
between Batman and Wonder Woman is good but feels hollow and I don’t
know if that’s because both Affleck and Gadot aren’t very great
actors or if they weren’t given enough direction or leeway with
their performances. It’s garbage.
There’s
so little to the plot that it’s hard to talk about it. There’s
things that get mentioned and sorta are interesting like Martha
having to leave the Kent farm after foreclosure and Lois not being
able to really write after Clark died, but this stuff is so glazed
and glossed that you never really care. The film doesn’t spend
enough time to build any emotional gravitas to anything. And some of
that is editing and pacing, and some of it is the actual plotting.
While this has a better plot than SS, I would contend that BvS, while
convoluted, has a better plot than this. And of course WW has a
better plot.
Even more, there’s stuff in here that, even though you
know it’s coming, it feels like it doesn’t need to be in there.
For instance, the entirety of Atlantis and Atlantians does nothing
for the story. The battle to take the cube lasts a third of the time
that it did for the Amazons and shows an even smaller contingent of
mer-peoples. They don’t show Aquaman talking in the water, but
rather in a bubble which is fine but the conversation has nothing to
do with anything. It’s almost as if we were already supposed to
know everything about his character or a lot of backstory and you’re
pretty lost. They fit Mera in but there’s no point. As much as I
would’ve liked to get excited for Aquaman and maybe see a little
more of Atlantis before having seen this film, I now wish they
would’ve completely cut these water scenes and just had Aquaman
mention that the box was stolen from Atlantis, or even have him about
to dive off a boat to swim down to Atlantis only to see the beam of
light and Steppenwolf making away with the box. It felt needless. And
it felt even worse with the Flash’s character-build being chopped
down to one meeting with Batman that you already saw in the trailers.
You don’t get to meet Iris West nor do you see that glass
shattering scene from one of the earlier trailers. Oh, and if the
fact that Aquaman seems unable to talk underwater is freaking you out
about his movie, I’m sure they’ll figure out a way to make it
happen. Or they won’t and it’ll be a disaster. Whichever.
I
know I’m jumping all over the place here but, again, there’s lots
of stuff wrong in this film that also jumps all over the place. Let’s
next talk about the comedy. Hannn! Sigh. Shaking my head again. OK,
so lately I have been trying to train myself to be more instinctive.
In writing and creating stuff, I always go with my instincts and act
upon a decision immediately when it comes to narrative and character
building or going with a particular story or plot. But when not
writing, in business and in life in general, I have been very off on
my instincts for about 13 years now when I used to have very good
instincts. I mention this because I think that DC has the same
instincts problem. Their problem—and this includes everybody behind
and in front of the scenes (Geoff Johns, Snyder, Whedon, whoever)—is
that they all have terrible instincts when it comes to DC properties.
And before you defend Whedon, just remember his WW script that came
out earlier this year.
DC’s
lack of instincts can’t really be blamed wholly on them. This stems
mostly from the fans. Fans complained that BvS, MoS and even SS were
all too dark and weren’t light-hearted. Honestly, this complaint,
while partially legit, was also full of shiznit because these films
didn’t need to be funny or full of humor and camera-winks to be
good. The Dark Knight was great and it wasn’t always funny.
Something I’ve learned from watching and reading so many reviews
and recaps of entertainment stuff is that when fans can’t properly
identify what they dislike about something they will always fall back
on one big thing. For books, it is always, “The characters were so
unlikable,” as if all characters must be likable. No, you don’t
need to want to sit down and have a cup of tea with the characters to
enjoy the book, you need to understand the character and their
motivations. Characters need to be interesting. In movies, especially
in comic book movies, the line is always about how “dark and
gritty” the tone is. No, these movies don’t need to be filled to
the brim with gags and jokes to be good, they need to properly
accomplish what they are set out to do, which is show heroes
overcoming things and becoming heroes. DC’s films have yet to do
that in any good fashion. For me, even Wonder Woman failed at this,
but again, it shines because of the dreck it is associated with. For
Wonder Woman there is never a real struggle for her to overcome. For
MoS there is never really an acknowledgement of his heroism as
something he chose and not something thrust upon him. Same goes for
BvS. SS is a different creature because that movie would’ve been
good had it been longer, and unchopped by savages in suits, and if
Leto was given better direction.
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| Get Your Superman-scented Candle For Christmas Now! |
With
all that preface, I say that DC tried to overdo it with the comedy.
This was so evident just by the line, “You smell good.” ‘I
didn’t before?’ If you’ve seen the movie, you know what I’m
talking about. It’s more cringey than funny. There are plenty of
Flash one-liners that, instead of making the character seem
smart-quirky, made the character seem young-stupid. Again, it feels
like someone who doesn’t like Millennials trying to write what a
Millennial would say and how they’d act. It’s dumb. Even Batman
played as a comic relief, which would’ve been OK had he not also
been useless in the fights against Stepps and the insects. Then
Wonder Woman is not really given any humorous lines, but rather is
stuffed into the stereotypically sexist box of her sexiness being the
butt of jokes, which is what feminists so promptly complain about.
The Flash pushes her out of the way to save her from being crushed
and falls flat on her, face to breasts, then pops up and looks like
the awkward nerd who has never touched a woman’s breasts before.
And she gives him this wink-wink smile and we’re supposed to sorta
chuckle at his Sheldon-like social miscue but it’s not funny. I
half expected her to get up grab the back of his head and smash his
face back into her breasts and yell, “Motorboat for your life!”
in that accent of hers. Gasp!
Trying
to bring levity to things during battles should be banned from now
on. I can see maybe at the very beginning of a battle, but once
you’re fist to face with the villian, you shouldn’t be joking
about how hard you can hit and how great you are at saving people, or
any of that stuff. It’s stupid and it feels dumb. We honestly think
that soldiers or firemen (you know, real heroes) are doing this
during tense action? Probably not. Some said that they didn’t feel
Whedon in this. I felt him too much. I think most of the one-liners
came from him because they felt like rejected lines straight out of
the Avengers. For instance, that thirsty Lois line? Come on. You
can’t tell me that wasn’t a Whedon request. “Quick, try to put
some current young-people slang in there to make it funnier.”
Then
there’s just some stuff that’s plain ol’ stupid. Wonder Woman
does her bracelet smacks a few too many times. It’s like, is that
all that you have? I loved the entrance of her where she’s blocking
all the bullets and stuff, but then the rest of the film she just
keeps smacking her bracelets, smacking her bracelets, smacking her
bracelets—enough already. Do something else. And that’s not even
considering the film anomalies of her sword and stuff. So, she
destroyed the “god killer” in WW, so that sword she has in this
film is probably not the same one. Fine. But did anybody notice how
the blade lit up gold in some scenes? Or how she was able to sharpen
it with a plain rock? I don’t get it, is it a special sword or not?
And if it is special then how are you sharpening it with the rock
from Charlie Brown? OK, that was really just a pet peeve but still.
Another
stupid thing: where the hell were all the other people that aren’t
stupid? Did anyone notice how, outside of the main cast, you didn’t
get to see hardly any other real people in this film save for at the
very end? The only people we really had—outside of the main cast
including Jim Gordon and Martha Kent—were a reporter whose dialogue
could’ve been cut and the scene retooled, and this idiotic family
in Russia. I have no idea what the hell that family was doing there.
They literally only existed so that the heroes could actually have
one heroic moment in the film. Again, DC listened to the fans too
much about all of the destruction and decided, “OK, they don’t
like when superheroes fight in the middle of crowded cities with
people running everywhere, so let’s take them to a town where you
literally don’t see any other people, save for one dumbass family
that should’ve left the city days ago when they saw some crazy
alien race land in the middle of town and start setting up shop. It’s
the same stupidity as was in SS where Amanda Waller just stays in the
middle of the city along with a bunch of other people. They just stay
even though the city is being taken over by a superpowered being
because... reasons. Yes, everything shouldn’t be all about
destruction and huge buildngs falling on people, but my god make it
seem like there is some peril in this thing. Hell, did the world even
know they were in danger in this film? Or that another alien invasion
was on the way? During MoS you at least got that gripping sense of
dread and fear at, “Oh my god, we are not alone in this universe...
And some of the other inhabitants are just as evil as we are.”
DC
on humor, tone and this lack of people didn’t follow their
instincts and trust in whatever it was they previously had, and
instead tried to make all the changes that fans asked for, but went
overboard in the wrong direction with said changes. This was one of
the things that ruined the film.
I
also didn’t like the fight scene with the Amazons. Let me talk
about the battle first, then we’ll hit the costumes. For me, that
battle with the Amazons epitomized the reason why I didn’t like
Wonder Woman: it had too many questionable plot holes that are big to
the overall DCEU and it did nothing to make me care about anybody but
WW. Again, what the hell are the Amazons powers? I ask because
remember, one of them got shot to death by some human’s bullets.
And I’m like, if you can get shot and die from it, or if Wonder
Woman can actually get a scrape on her skin, even if it does heel,
then what are they immune to? What really makes them better than
normal humans? And on top of that, I really didn’t get to know the
Amazons at all. Think about a few of these questions for me: Outside
of the fight training, what were two key differences between
Themyscira and the world of man culturally? Were there any love
relationships there? Did Diana have any really close friends she
agonized over leaving behind? Can you name one of he characters
outside of Hippolyta, Diana and the woman who died (strictly talking
about the film, not the comics). Were there others who dissented
againsted Hippolyta? Outside of Hippolyta, who would miss Diana the
most? Bet you can’t answer a single one of those questions. That’s
why I didn’t get when fans and critics said they did a great job of
introducig the island. No, they did a great job of shooting the
island and making it look picturesque. They introduce Themyscira the
place and Themyscira the people.
Now
we finally get to the complaint of sexism and the costumes. This talk
is twofold because I both disagree and agree here. OK, first I will
say that the complaints about the costumes for the Amazons minus
Diana, to me, was unwarranted. First off, we saw most of the warriors
showing tons of skin in the flashback story of Steppenwolf’s first
invasion. In fact, I swear to god Snyder snuck in a Gerard Butler
cameo when the god is fighting against Stepps and the parademons. The
guy is on the field of battle with his chest all out, a red cape on
and little armor. Zoom forward to today’s Amazons and how they’ve
matured. From what I can see, the armor is more akin to a clothing
option and/or by rank, both of which make more since when judging
warriors and medieval armor and stuff. For instance, when Hippolyta
first enters that secret box chamber, she has on a full armor plate
from shoulder to knees and armored boots. The girl on her left has
quite a bit of armor on too, but not the same kind and not as much,
and the girl on her right has a bare midriff with some breast armor
but that’s all. But the thing is that we see various forms of armor
on all of the women. Many of them inside the chamber don’t have the
best of armor. But as you get farther down the hall and past the
various drop stones, the women gradually have more armor and then
when on the horses, you have some of the most armored women. This
makes since not just from a fashion preference for some of the women
(some women want to dress sexy to feel it, as Cate Blanchett said.
And before you jump on me for that, it’s a known fact that most
women dress for other women, not men, so a society devoid of men
might also have some of the same patterns of though but of course we
don’t know that because WW didn’t define the culture, as
previously stated), but by rank. In olden times and still today, the
highest-ranking and/or the best soldiers often got the best armor and
technology. This was the difference between a true knight and a
common soldier. It was expected for the knight to slay more enemies,
so you wanted to protect them longer with better stuff. So it makes
sense for the guards on the horses to have the most armor because
they are expected to be the best warriors and the last line of
defense against Stepps before the rest of the Amazonian army comes.
So no, it wasn’t sexist and get out of here with that male gaze BS
on the island.
 |
| Gold Leathery Bossoms |
Let’s
see, the CGI was bad and often not fully rendered. Again, the
entirety of the environment in the film doesn’t look real. That
should’ve been a good thing when considering Stepps’ rendering
but it isn’t. Even in an unrealistic-looking world, Stepps still
stands out as a poorly rendered video game mess. I didn’t know
whether I was watching a finished movie or the renderings for a
Disney cartoon in it’s second stage of animation development. It
was very bad.
Finally,
we get to the all-important score of the movie, and by that I mean
the music, specifically the soundtrack. (deep breath in)
Whyyyyyyyyyyyyyy? I saw another reviewer share my same sentiment and
I should try to embed the video of the guy on youtube talking about
musical scores in current films to give you a better understanding of
just how important music is in a film. When there’s no music, you
notice it. When there’s too much music, you notice it. When there’s
generic music, guess what? You notice it. Well, this film committed
two of those horrendous OST sins. For one, the film had far too much
music. It was overscored and highly noticeable in it’s overscoring.
For instance, MoS was also overscored, but you really didn’t notice
it that much because Hans Zimmer effectively used the music to help
build into the tone of the film. I don’t know what it was but I
think it was a tuba or something that provides that little, dun
dunnn, that you hear a lot in MoS usually when little to nothing is
happening. You hear it most when he’s on the ship and talking to
Jor-el’s image and learning about his past. Oh, and the film’s
opening company logos play underneath that score. It’s subtle and
it helps to build the narration beneath the dialogue. Here, in JL,
the music doesn’t play beneath the narrative but sometimes battles
with it, and I’m not talking about volume. It’s too busy and
overpowering, trying to inject grandeur into places that didn’t
need it. Scores like that, unfortunately, make you hear and listen to
the music as its own intent rather than enhancing the scene. You
couldn’t avoid hearing it which often alienates the audience more
than it draws them in, because it makes them remember that they are
watching a movie, rather than participating in an experience.
 |
| Steppenwolf About To Punch |
The
overpowering music being far too much throughout the film would be
forgiveable to some extent had it not been for the genericness of the
music. This... SHIT was so generic, so overused that it made no
impression in the film. Yes, I heard the few references back to the
original Superman music and the Batman music from the 80s and 90s,
but they didn’t bother to make something unique, new and intriguing
for the listener. You take out those few callbacks to the earlier
eras and you essentially get a soundtrack for an awards show. It’s
cheap and makes no impression in the mind of the consumer. For those
who have seen the movie, can you even remember the music from one of
the action scenes that didn’t use the callbacks to Supes or Bats
previous themes? Just a few chords like that dun dunnn from the
opening of MoS? I bet you can’t.
I
don’t know why they got rid of Hans and Junkie XL’s score and
tossed Junkie out of the composer’s seat because Danny Elfman has
rested on the good scores that he did in the 90s for years. He hasn’t
done anything good and worth listening to since before the modern age
of comic books that started with Tobey McGuire’s Spider-man 2. Hans
and Junkie delivered something inspired, something different,
something that you can’t lift from MoS and BvS and slap into a
completely different film without immensely changing that film. Where
as this JL music could easily work in the next or previous Avengers
films, try ripping MoS’s musical score and putting it on the last
Thor movie. It completely changes the tone and texture of the film.
Danny Elfman’s score was probably one of the absolute worst parts
of a film that had a ton of bad parts. It reeked of a composer that
doesn’t really care and isn’t pushing himself to create anymore,
and it reeked of a studio that panicked.
EDIT:
OK, so I was finished with this recap/review of the film and then I
read the stupid comments by Danny Elfman when discussing this film.
Know, for one, that his comments about the score epitomizes not only
the cruddy mess that he created but the film industry as a whole
right now, and is the main reason why he shouldn’t have been chosen
for this job. For him to basically say that it was stupid for the
filmmakers to throw out the original soundtracks to Batman and
Superman, and that this was all just to feed the ego of the director
and composer, and to cite Star Wars and Bond as examples is naive to
say the least. First off, the new Star Wars are, arguably, not new.
The Force Awakens was literally the same exact film as A New Hope. In
fact, Disney, before JJ boarded the thing, was planning a full-on
reboot of the franchise and then decided to make it a sequel. Some of
the elements they had already constructed of the franchise remained
in the film which is why some fans, even though they enjoyed it, felt
that it wasn’t anything new. Bond is a better example, however,
neither of these franchises take into account the fact that
superheroes are not a continuing story from one reboot to the next.
They can oftentimes be a completely different and wild take on a
character that audiences may originally think they know but must take
the time to get to reknow in a new and more compelling light. Some
fans may see that as a scab against comic books but I see it more as
a positive. I know, I have talked harshly about reboots in the past
but in many cases it is good to reboot some of this stuff if the
people still crave it because, with the timelines and stories you’ve
already established and told, it is hard to do some cool stories from
the comics that fans may want to see. For instance, we couldn’t do
a young batman story in this current universe because Ben Affleck is
already grown and we already know the outcome of that movie (Batman
would survive). You can’t do another resurrection story in this
current universe with Superman because Superman has already died and
come back. Rebooting gives a clean slate to the new creators coming
in and yes, that includes music.
Mr. Elfman has been in the game for a very long time. He knows the importance of music in a film. Music often sets tone and allows the director to fully realize his vision. By caging that director into using the same one theme, you could very well change the entire tone of a film, which is what I think happened to JL. As I said, the movie didn’t have much gravitas to it and that was mainly because the music was such terrible crap. It wasn’t sad enough when it should’ve been sad, not hopeful enough when it should’ve been hopeful. It was recycled garbage and clearly uninspired. A true artist is always brave enough to at least try to do something new and different and if you can’t do that or feel as if the new generation is stomping on what you did in your heyday, then you shouldn’t be working on a project that will require you to set the musical tone for the first time a massive fan event will be seen in theaters. You should politely decline the offer instead of giving us junk and then citing the fact that you had little to no time to compose something good for the film. Yes, people in the industry know that this happens a lot especially with music because it is often the last thing to go into a finished film. But don’t give me this crap about how we should have “done what works” because you didn’t want to give this project your absolute best. You let Junkie XL do it and I guarantee you it’ll feel like a completely different film. Hell, if you didn’t want him, then at least bring in a composer who is familiar with this new DCEU franchise and did a decent (albeit lacking compared to his other work) job on the WW soundtrack in Harry Gregson-Williams. The problem with this industry right now is that we have way too many people just trying to play it safe instead of taking decisive risks that could pay off. Don’t continue to encourage the snuffing out of artistry. Unbelievable!
Mr. Elfman has been in the game for a very long time. He knows the importance of music in a film. Music often sets tone and allows the director to fully realize his vision. By caging that director into using the same one theme, you could very well change the entire tone of a film, which is what I think happened to JL. As I said, the movie didn’t have much gravitas to it and that was mainly because the music was such terrible crap. It wasn’t sad enough when it should’ve been sad, not hopeful enough when it should’ve been hopeful. It was recycled garbage and clearly uninspired. A true artist is always brave enough to at least try to do something new and different and if you can’t do that or feel as if the new generation is stomping on what you did in your heyday, then you shouldn’t be working on a project that will require you to set the musical tone for the first time a massive fan event will be seen in theaters. You should politely decline the offer instead of giving us junk and then citing the fact that you had little to no time to compose something good for the film. Yes, people in the industry know that this happens a lot especially with music because it is often the last thing to go into a finished film. But don’t give me this crap about how we should have “done what works” because you didn’t want to give this project your absolute best. You let Junkie XL do it and I guarantee you it’ll feel like a completely different film. Hell, if you didn’t want him, then at least bring in a composer who is familiar with this new DCEU franchise and did a decent (albeit lacking compared to his other work) job on the WW soundtrack in Harry Gregson-Williams. The problem with this industry right now is that we have way too many people just trying to play it safe instead of taking decisive risks that could pay off. Don’t continue to encourage the snuffing out of artistry. Unbelievable!
Speaking
of tonal changes and bad fourth-quarter decisions, the decision to
bring Joss Whedon in was a bad one. And I say this knowing how much I
have enjoyed his work in the past, knowing that comic book fans will
forever defend him because he did The Avengers, and knowing that some
fans think that he was the one who was able to effectively salvage
the trash that was the original footage. (side note: there is no
director’s cut of this film, but there is a rough cut that had a
lot of the effects either fully or partially rendered. And from what
I understand the majority of what Zack shot did make it into the
film, and yes, that includes some of the jokes). To speak more on
that side note, my contact at WB told me that it wasn’t Whedon who
put in most of the jokes but that a lot of that stuff was in there
long before he boarded for reshoots. Some of the stuff like Superman
fighting the team, nearly all of the crap with Steppenwolf, the fight
with the Amazons—was all in the original script. You want a scene
that was added by Whedon and you could clearly tell it was? That damn
news report. You know the one. The one where the foul-mouthed country
bumpkin-looking woman claimed the aliens abducted her husband. Yeah,
that was added. So was the other reporter coming to talk to Lois. And
apparently the footage that constantly went back to the family was
added also. And there’s a lot of scenes reshot for dialogue
purposes, rather than completely new scenes added. Here’s the
craziest part: even a lot of Whedon’s footage got cut in the
two-hour mandate.
The
entirety of the film again felt just like what I said about Wonder
Woman: it would’ve been good and acceptable had it come out in the
90s back when these comic book movies could be so goofy and stupid
and easily dismissed that there was no way the films would make near
a billion dollars. Even though MoS and BvS are critical messes in
their own right, at least they fit into a modern paradigm of comic
book films. This JL and WW could easily have been slotted into the
theaters after Batman Returns in the early 90s and made a killing.
But as a movie for today? A real dud. Highly forgettable, confused
and meandering at times and a painful mash of weightless, stakeless
fight scenes at others.
So,
predictions for the future. OK, so let me refer back to some of my
previous blogposts from yesteryear when I said that almost everything
that has happened would happen. I said after BvS that Suicide Squad
was a mess, that Wonder Woman would also not be good but that it
would shine as being the movie that got the franchise back on the
right track because it would have the golden glow of a female-led
superhero film like what fans had been craving for decades and a box
office driven by girl power, then that Justice League would return us
to the doldrums of mediocrity and send WB into a bit of a panic. So,
here’s what I called from a previous review of a DCEU film: half of
the previously announced projects would be canceled or worse, just
never spoken of again and pushed into developmental hell; the other
half they would blaze forward with quite gung-ho about them and still
not see the success they want; after this summer’s rather
disappointing War for the Planet of the Apes, I’m personally not
sure about a Batman movie from writer/director Matt Reeves but Batman
has shown the innate ability to recover over and over again from the
suck; The Flash movie will most likely never get made, but if it does
it is not going to clear up anything about this universe. In fact, it
will make everything even worse because they’re gonna definitely
try doing flashpoint to reboot things and, similar to the strange
timelines in the X-men universe, things are just going to get extra
confusing with Affleck replaced as Batman with a different Bats. The
funny thing about this whole idea of a flashpoint is that they can’t
adequately get rid of some of the problems that some fans have. Sure,
the tone will change, but if you don’t like the actors in their
current roles, you’ll still not like the actors unless they’re
all replaced. This is an even bigger problem because the Flash is the
character I hated the most, and you kinda can’t replace him if he
is the cause of the flashpoint. Even more to the point, the switch in
tones within that movie is going to be so jarring and such a
logistical mess for the director that most fans will not like it.
Side note: if I didn’t mention this earlier, I was told that the
scene in BvS where Bruce was sleeping and talked to the Flash wasn’t
referring to a still-future event but was in fact supposed to be
referring to Bruce’s “big guns” surprise that got Superman to
calm down during his fight with the team. Snyder originally planned
for the “angry Supes” to be a much bigger life or death fight
that would only be solved by Lois, but it was scrapped because the
budget was already inflating to considerable levels, so they toned it
down to what you got in the film, a watered down albeit good scene.
So, just in case you were looking for something more to happen with
that, sorry to disappoint you.
I
think that Aquaman will be fairly decent and will hover around a
60-70s on Rotten Tomatoes because people will have had a year to wash
this film from their mind. But a MoS sequel probably will not happen.
What they will do is test the waters with Superman again by sneaking
him into another of the DCEU films to see if people really do like
this “new” take on Superman. And that’ll most likely be in a
Flash film but could be in Shazam or Suicide Squad 2. If that movie
fails, then he’ll be scrapped for a whole generation until they are
brave enough to completely reboot the character and/or the entire
universe. Again, I don’t think there will be a second Justice
League, at least not for a while because remember this thing was
supposed to be a two-parter and they scrapped it. Frankly, at this
point, I would much rather see an almost all-female populated
superhero universe which would break new ground and could be very
interesting. They’ve already announced Gotham City Sirens, and
Wonder Woman 2. Move forward on Batgirl, and fit in a Hawkgirl movie,
then come back with an all-female Justice League or something like
that and see if that works because this current setup is not working.
And I have said this before, so I will say it again, DC does not need
to have the same type or level of humor as Marvel films. You can be
different but you have to own that difference and not shy away from
it. DC is too shy to stand in their bravery and it’s killing their
properties.
The
worst part about this movie isn’t actually the movie but, wait...
OK, the movie is the worst part of the movie but the second
worst part of this whole situation is not actually the studio
meddling, though that’s a big thing, but the fans’ reactions. For
those fans who like this, stop! Stop it! Like, if I have to hear
and/or read another review that says, “it’s not perfect but it’s
fun” or “they’re working/building toward something” or
“they’re getting closer to getting it right,” I don’t know
what the heck I’ll do. We keep getting this kind of garbage film
because fans keep excusing this kind of garbage film. It’s like
(and people are going to hate this metaphor but it’s true) an
abused spouse continuing to go back to his or her abuser because they
emotionally or physically don’t abuse them as bad anymore. Like,
“Oh, it’s OK, because last night she only called me impotent as
opposed to saying that I was an impotent, jobless loser who she never
really loved who will never get another woman. See, she doesn’t
emotionally abuse me as much now. She’s improving.” Like, no.
Your wife is emotionally abusing you, or your husband is physically
abusing you. People, you are literally saying that this film was a
step in the right direction because it wasn’t as aesthetically dark
and because the characters all smiled a little more. Seriously. The
fights, outside of the one with Superman versus the team, aren’t
even that great. It’s just blah!
And
you can’t keep saying that they’re working/building up to
something. No. No! This—this movie—is what they were supposed to
be working up to. They’re not working up to something when we’re
literally five films into this universe. The work is supposed to be
done, the building is built and carpeted, and it ain’t that stable
and it ain’t that great. There’s this concept out—unfortunately
the exact word for it escapes me right now—that embodies the idea
of continually trying to wish for improvements on something while
acceptting that something as it is. This is exactly what the fans are
doing. You keep praising these films while hoping they’ll get
better mainly because you are afraid that they won’t make any more
of them if you don’t support these ones. Yet, you have no idea that
by praising this, you are actually sabotaging the future of these
films more than you are helping. Why? Because as big as the comic
book community is, you are not big enough to get these films to the
finish line that the studios are wanting to get. If so, this movie
would’ve gotten to 100 million over the weekend.
As far as the petition to see a director’s cut, stop. Snyder was never able to edit the movie himself enough to make a coherent story before he had to step away. Is there a rough cut? Yes. But a rough cut is similar to a comic book turned coloring book. All the panels are there but the color is missing. And with Whedon stepping in during a lot of the CGI still being rendered and having him do his thing and still being overridden, it’s not much of a director’s cut from him either. What you can maybe get is an extended cut but even then that will not improve on the film because most of it will not be scored (although that may be a positive) and you will never be able to hear Junkie XL’s OST. This is far different than Suicide Squad and Batman v. Superman. If anything, what you should seriously do is petition WB/DC to reboot the entire franchise and have me come in and write the first Superman and start from there. I guarantee you I could write and direct a better film. This may sound like some random guy on the internet talking out of his neck but remember this post because if I do ever get back to Hollywood and am able to pitch this idea, you can look back at this and say, “Well, maybe he knew what he was talking about.” Again, I can do this far better. I have only ever truly wanted to make three reboots/live-action movies of three different properties and I’ve said this before: Captain Planet, Superman and Justice League, and a Dragonball Z film (it’s weird that they are technically all from different decades). I can do JL just as well as I can do Captain Planet. I want to do both if I can. I’m gonna be working really hard to get there to do this to give fans something amazing because this ain’t it. And yes, while I do have some bias about these movies because I want to do my own version so badly, I suppressed the heck out of that bias this time around and rooted for both Wonder Woman and Justice League and didn’t come out particularly liking either. WW was far better, but it had many flaws from many angles, while JL was just a bad film that hovered just over the Schumacher level. I’m really sorry to see you leave under these circumstances Zack but maybe this just wasn’t meant for you from the start.
As far as the petition to see a director’s cut, stop. Snyder was never able to edit the movie himself enough to make a coherent story before he had to step away. Is there a rough cut? Yes. But a rough cut is similar to a comic book turned coloring book. All the panels are there but the color is missing. And with Whedon stepping in during a lot of the CGI still being rendered and having him do his thing and still being overridden, it’s not much of a director’s cut from him either. What you can maybe get is an extended cut but even then that will not improve on the film because most of it will not be scored (although that may be a positive) and you will never be able to hear Junkie XL’s OST. This is far different than Suicide Squad and Batman v. Superman. If anything, what you should seriously do is petition WB/DC to reboot the entire franchise and have me come in and write the first Superman and start from there. I guarantee you I could write and direct a better film. This may sound like some random guy on the internet talking out of his neck but remember this post because if I do ever get back to Hollywood and am able to pitch this idea, you can look back at this and say, “Well, maybe he knew what he was talking about.” Again, I can do this far better. I have only ever truly wanted to make three reboots/live-action movies of three different properties and I’ve said this before: Captain Planet, Superman and Justice League, and a Dragonball Z film (it’s weird that they are technically all from different decades). I can do JL just as well as I can do Captain Planet. I want to do both if I can. I’m gonna be working really hard to get there to do this to give fans something amazing because this ain’t it. And yes, while I do have some bias about these movies because I want to do my own version so badly, I suppressed the heck out of that bias this time around and rooted for both Wonder Woman and Justice League and didn’t come out particularly liking either. WW was far better, but it had many flaws from many angles, while JL was just a bad film that hovered just over the Schumacher level. I’m really sorry to see you leave under these circumstances Zack but maybe this just wasn’t meant for you from the start.
 |
| I'll Keep Watch Over The DCEU... Until I Can Get The Hell Outta Here. I'm Batfleck |
What
do you think? Have you seen Justice League? If you haven’t, do you
think you will go see it? If you have seen it, did you like it? Are
you happy with the direction the DCEU is going? Who was your favorite
character? What was your least favorite thing in the film? And what
are your predictions for the future of the DCEU? Let me know in the
comments below.
If
you’re looking for a scare, check the YA novel
#AFuriousWind, the
NA novel #DARKER, #BrandNewHome or
the bizarre horror #ThePowerOfTen.
For those interested in something a little more dramatic and adult,
check out #TheWriter.
Seasons 1, 2 and 3 are out NOW, exclusively on Amazon. Stay connected
here for updates on season 4 coming summer 2018. If you like fast
action/crime check out #ADangerousLow.
The sequel A New Low will be out in a few months. Look for the
mysterious Sci-fi episodic novella series Extraordinary
on Amazon. Season 2 of that coming real soon. And look for the
mystery novels The Knowledge of Fear #KnowFear and The Man on the
Roof #TMOTR coming this fall/winter. Twisty novels as good as Gone
Girl or The Girl on the Train, you won’t want to miss them. Join us
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Until next time, “Mother! Ah, yes,
mother! Finally I will be able to rule with your power and--”
(ring-ring! Ring-ring) “Hold on, it’s my real mother on the
phone. Yes, hello? … Hey, mom. … Yeah … Yeah … Yes, I’ll be
coming back for Thanksgiving. Can I call you back, I’m kinda busy
right now. … Well, I’m trying to take over the earth. … Well, I
don’t know why I’m doing it, mom, it’s just something to do. …
No, Apokolips isn’t pressuring me to do it. … He mighta mentioned
somethin’ about how it would make me look cool, but—hey, I’m
trying to do something here, OK? I’ll call you back. … OK,
smooches. Love you too.” (hangs up) “Ah, mother!”
P.S.
Yeah, that corny little paragraph there totally could have made it
into the movie and you readers who saw the film know it. It’s right
up there with the two brunch jokes and Aquaman talking about how
scared he was to die while they’re flying off to the fight with
Steppenwolf. Classic Joss Whedon. Bad Joss Whedon. I’ll come up
with a better sign-off next time.
P.P.S.
OK, so I just read a review that mentioned the Green Lantern cameo in
this and I gotta say that I completely missed it. I was too busy
trying to compare and contrast the Amazons clothing with that of men
and the gods to see if it was sexist or not to catch that glimpse of
some alien Lantern. Sorry, but they should’ve had more than a few
seconds if they really wanted me to recognize the presence of one
back in the day. Or at least kept that line from the trailer about
there being no Lanterns to protect the earth. Hate it when stuff from
the trailer isn’t in a movie. Just hate it!
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