I
Can See Why Pieces Of His Home Planet Weaken Superman #Krypton
#3weekroundup #recap #review
All pictures courtesy of Syfy Channel and WB DC
Sigh!
I don't know why it is that I feel like if I had a few thousand
subscribers I would somehow be able to make a living off of ripping
Warner Bros. DC these days, but that's where we are. I'd love to fly
straight to the review and finish with this but that's not how we do
it around here. Let me stop stalling and adding more words to what is
already shaping up to be a long piece. This week, we're looking at
Syfy's new show Krypton. So, is this show poised to take flight into
a new stratosphere of mythos and intrigue for the Superman legend, or
should this planet have stayed blown up and forgotten about? Let's
find out together—well, I already know that it kinda sucks, but
you're finding out as I write this.
Krypton
is DC Comics' latest TV show because they can't do anything good
concerning their movies. Birthed from the mind of David S. Goyer (one
of the writers on Man Of Steel), we venture into the historical lore
of Superman's famed home planet. Yes, we know that Superman was
shipped away from the dying world by his parents on the eve of the
world's destruction, but what happened before that, and why should we
care? Frankly, we probably shouldn't, but some of the stuff we can
assume could be relevant with his parents and whatnot, right? Wrong!
Because this show doesn't follow his parents but his grandfather.
What?! I know. It's rather crazy. Even crazier, we begin with his
grandfather's grandfather being executed. OK, first some basic setup.
The
planet, or at least the city we are dealing with on Krypton, is
divided into a caste system. You have the rankless or the lowly
workers (though I haven't seen much of what they do, similar to on
ABC's ill-fated Inhumans, but I digress) and you have the ranked. The
ranked members of society are split into houses that are labeled by
name. So you have the house of El (remember, el was always like a
surname for Superman and Supergirl and their respective parents),
house of Zod, so on and so forth. These are the people who are ranked
high and generally have high education and high jobs in the
government. Remember, I usually try to watch the first three episodes
of a series twice and take notes on them before writing one of these
reviews. Here, just like on Inhumans, I can't remember them ever
saying why there are the ranked and rankless. It literally just is
because it is. The only thing I can assume, however, is that the
rankless still give birth naturally which is why their quarters are
overpopulated. That would make sense to me on why they would be
deemed rankless because they would be going against the grain of the
rules society has put into place.
From
these rankless there is a small faction of rebels (some of the
high-command call them terrorists) called The Black Zero. What their
agenda is, I'm not quite sure. Again, it's rather murky. Yes, they
want to overthrow the current oppressive government, but I'm not sure
if they want to rule themselves or install something new or what.
It's a little too early to tell. Right now all they are doing is
terrorist stuff, and I know that's how most wars and rebellions
start, but it would be good to know their list of demands. I'll do
more world-building as we go throughout, but just know that there's
some government and military stuff going on that tries to mimic every
other political drama out there right now.
 |
| Val-El |
So,
back to Superman's grandpa's grandpa. His name is Val-el, played by
veteran actor Ian McElhinney. Oh yeah, as an aside, everyone is
apparently English on this series for some reason. Why, I have no
idea. As if there aren't tons of really good American actors that
need work, but I digress. Val is in court and has been accused
basically of two things: working on a secret scientific project that
the leaders think is something destructive and that tries to prove
his ridiculous theory (Oh-ho-ho, more on that theory later. It's a
doozy for this show), and that he has been working with The Black
Zero. Frankly, he isn't quick to deny either assertion as they're
both partially true. So they make him walk the plank out of the dome
and into the frosty abyss.
Ready
for more world-building? OK, so apparently Krypton is actually an ice
planet that is nearly inhabitable, save for these few domes in which
the people live. That's fine as some (NOT ALL) of the comic writers
have pictured Krypton as this as well, not to mention the Donner
Superman also has the planet being like some kind of frozen tundra of
beautiful white. But, in most of those renditions it was understood
that the Kryptonians could still survive in their planet's own
environment, you know, because if you're not a religious person,
then... Science. Look, I am a Christian myself, but I know that
science tends to say that through evolution dominant species evolve
enough to live in and pseudo-conquer their environments. In other
words, dominant species are able to live on their planet's surface
without much need of other coddling from nature or their own
ingenuity. But with the planet ravaged the way it is, it makes me
think one of two things: either the planet has been plunged into this
chaotic ice desert due to the Kryptonians own mismanagement (ie. Some
kind of climate change/environmental destruction message which I
would be all for even though they've said nothing to that effect), or
they are not native to that planet. Both conclusions bring up
intriguing questions.
The second conclusion speaks more to the
bizarreness of the show, which I'll touch on further down when I
reveal Val's big theory. But the first conclusion also is interesting
because it posits that the planet wasn't always this way, and we even
see what are clearly supposed to be ruins of an old world now
reclaimed by the frost. The problem I have with that, however, is
that why not show us that Krypton? Hell, if you're gonna go back to
his grandpa, why not go all the way back to when Krypton, I assume,
was thriving, and then show us the destruction through the years. You
could even expedite it and have this ice thing coming insanely fast,
panicking all of society and sending them into this archaic governing
system. Hell, the writers and producers on this show talked about how
“unexplored” Krypton was as fodder for great storytelling. They
literally could've done anything far more creative here, but kinda
missed the ball. Frankly, that is the entire critique of the show
that you might read multiple times throughout this post. I digress.
Getting
back to the story, Val is convicted of the two crimes, his honor and
his house's name and rank are stripped (no more house of El) and he
is forced to literally walk a holo-plank out of the protective
force-field bubble around the city where he then plummets to his icy
death. This all happens in front of his family and his nine-year-old
grandson who absolutely adores him.
 |
| Kem and Seg, the more handsome one. |
And
then we zoom ahead 14 years. Val's grandson's name is Seg (formerly
of the house of El). Now a 23-year-old rankless trotter, he works
cons down at the local pub owned by his friend Kem (I think that's
his friend's name, although it could be the name of another
character). His friend owns the bar/tavern and makes bets on him
about if he can get into fights and how long he can last in them or
if he can win them. They win a little money and Seg leaves.
Now,
for about the next two paragraphs it is really going to seem like I
didn't actually watch this series at all, because you're gonna hear a
common frame of me not knowing stuff. What Seg does for his regular
job, I really don't know. In fact, similar to on Inhumans, I can only
see maybe five jobs that are even available for people on Krypton. If
you're ranked you can be a politician, soldier in the guard/army or a
scientist (whether that's working in the baby farm or teaching). For
the rankless you can be a bar owner or a salvager of the old lands. I
assume that there's maybe some kind of mine somewhere to work because
most rankless look dirty like they've been digging coal to power the
force-field, or that there are farmers to feed everyone, although I
guess the scientists could also be doing the food creating. Frankly,
I don't know any of this stuff because the show does such a poor job
at trying to meld two far-different dichotomies: hyper-advanced
future with medieval barbarism.
Anyway,
I mention Seg's job (or lack thereof) because he somehow winds up in
the high court just as the many-faced god (or maybe it's priest?) and
the other guy in charge Daron-Vex (again, Vex is the surname) are
about to make a ruling on someone. The guy on trial is a member of
The Black Zero and has a bomb implanted in his arm. Seg suddenly
appears, sees the bomb and tackles the guy to the ground before he
can blow it, which was strange because the dude had the bomb's
trigger in his hand and only needed to press his thumb down and
everyone would've exploded. Anyway, the guards shoot the guy's arm
off with a cool laser blaster and everyone is impressed.
Suddenly,
just from that little act of heroism, Seg is brought in front of
Daron and his daughter Nyssa, and told that because of his hard work
(again, doing what?) and heroism from earlier in the day, he is being
absorbed into the House of Vex. He is to marry Nyssa but must take
the Vex name (again, he technically has no name anymore as El was
banished and it is even a crime to say that name). While he already
hates this, he thinks that at least this will be good for him and his
parents to get out from living in the rankless slums. They know they
can't go with him, and they still believe in what his grandpa was
doing. So, before there is even some kind of ceremony he and Nyssa go
to that Matrix-looking baby farm, give some blood through a thumb
prick and have their baby start to be grown in an egg. They learn the
imprinted future of the baby and everything, learning that it'll be a
boy, he'll live for 173 cycles and will serve in some government
office nobly and faithfully for years. This way is efficient.
 |
| Jayna on the left; her daughter Lyta on the right |
Meanwhile,
we also learn of the warriors/soldiers. Here, we learn of the house
of Zod. As the current leader of the house of Zod we have Jayna Zod.
I usually mention race just to give a full-rounded picture of what's
going on and for we POC to be able to cheer on people that look like
us getting roles. Here, however, I have to point out that Jayna, her
daughter and most of the soldiers are black (or of other minority
races) for a later critique. Yes, you already know that critique
partially, but I digress.
Jayna
seems to be the commanding general or at least one of the highest
ranked in the military at the moment. She is teaching a class on
combat to her young soldiers when we meet her. We also meet her
daughter Lyta-Zod who is part of the newest class of soldiers
officially ready to take to the field. Lyta is currently arranged to
be married to Dev-Em (another black guy). He seems to be the hallmark
of a potential favorite son-in-law: tall, dark, handsome, follows
orders, is intelligent and sticks to the status quo. But Lyta is
actually in love with another.
Yep,
you guessed it, Lyta-Zod is in love with Seg formerly of house El.
And that's when you realize that they have made the legendary fight
between Zod and Superman into a Hatfields vs. McCoys feud that has
been going on for centuries. Yes, in both films Jor-El was against
Zod but it still didn't feel like two families feuding because one
broke the other's heart. Here, that's exactly what it is shaping up
to be. Jayna makes an example of her daughter by stabbing her through
the hand in combat and telling her that she is weak because she asked
for mercy and this group of warriors never ask for mercy. You fight
to the death, period. So she sneaks off and has a roll-around with
Seg where they talk about not making waves and his offer to be part
of house Vex. The funny thing is that their dialogue isn't filled
with longing and heartache as they discuss how madly in love they are
or how they wished that the rules were different. I assume that maybe
they aren't really that much in love, but who knows.
At
this point I must mention that this first episode, with commercials
removed, really only clocked in at around 37 minutes because they
followed it up with a 9 minute discussion from multiple comic book
artists, writers, movie writers and everyone you would associate with
Superman on screen or on paper, even Geoff Johns. I say that because
I will mention it in the review but also because it sorta cuts the
episode short.
 |
| Seg and Superman's Cape |
Next
Seg runs into this guy who is dressed in human clothes and looks like
a human and is wearing a Detroit Lions hat. This guy gives him that
weird little Superman-emblem crystal like from Man of Steel and tells
him to find the fortress. Seg's parents debate whether to tell him or
not. Finally, his mom rescues him on the street from being beaten by
some guards and hovercrafts him out to this place where Val used to
come to do his science stuff. There's an apartment there that they
can get into and another space that he must use the crystal to open,
and she says that they tried opening it but couldn't but now maybe he
can. But then she's caught and is accused of being a traitor like her
father-in-law. When they ask who was in the hovercraft with her, her
husband steps forward to take his son's place and lie. Her husband
then, for no real reason, tries to shoot the Vex only to be blasted.
His wife soon follows.
Seg,
knowing his parents died to keep this secret and hoping to do
something with the crystal, goes back to the place Val had hidden in
the icy always-blizzarding tundra and inserts the crystal. It opens
into a Fortress of Solitude that his grandfather had. And poof, the
Detroit Lions guy is there again and gives him the disintegrating
cape of Superman, tells him that he is a time traveler from centuries
in the future where Seg's grandson is this symbol of greatness but
that the future is in danger because Krypton is currently in danger
from a powerful force. This force is the consumer of worlds known as
Brainiac. So together Seg and this mysterious guy must work to stop
Brainiac from taking Krypton because Mr. Tentacles is already out
there and is coming there way. Oh, that big theory that his
grandfather had: that they are not alone in the universe and that he
saw a biological life form heading their way. Whaaatttt?! Yeah, I
know it's kinda blowing your mind and making you question everything
you knew about Superman and his home planet.
Episode
two sorta picks up where we left off. Seg explores the fortress more
and comes to discover a hologram of his grandpa is all up in and
through that place. His grandpa does this info-dump on him and talks
about how he was working on technology that could see far into the
stars and even let him travel to these places. Mr. Detroit or Mr.
Strange (or something like that; sorry, I can never quite catch the
names in shows no matter how hard I try. But he's supposed to be a
known comic character who uses a stone to travel through space/time)
tells him about Brainiac. He says that he himself is from earth and
that Brainiac collects civilizations, planets and cities he finds
interesting, often destroying the rest of the planet or civilization
in order to preserve what he thinks is the most perfect example of
that civilization. He travels across space looking for planets and is
headed their way. He urges Seg and Kem to help him look for any
forward scouts that Brainiac sends out to make sure there is life on
a planet and it is worth taking or “preserving.” So while Seg has
to continue to deal with his new status as part of house Vex, Strange
and Kem go into the forbidden lands to search for an orb that
Brainiac sent out.
 |
| Lyta's Betrothed |
Meanwhile, Lyta tries to prove that she belongs
not only in house Zod but that she belongs in the warriors brigade
and should be taken seriously as a fierce warrior and leader. It's
your basic legacy-stuck-in-her-parent's-shadow story that you'd find
in any teen fantasy book or show. There is some trouble and whatnot
that's brewing down in the rankless sections, and they are planning
to go to war with them to combat The Black Zero before it grows even
larger, but Lyta doesn't want that because, even though she is
highborn, she has always looked at the rankless as people too,
especially now that Seg is part of it (we are to assume that they
knew each other as children all the way up to age 9, hence the
romance that seems improbable). So she challenges her superior
officer of her squad to a ritualistic dual that has its basis on the
actions of some previous dude that came along, climbed to a mountain
and decreed that anyone who thought they could rule could come and
challenge him in a battle to the death. Somehow, he became the first
general or ruler. I should take this opportunity to say that, among
the things I don't know is what kind of government this is: kingdom,
twisted republic, etc. Yes, the castes are there and it seems to be
Vex calling most of the shots, but he's not the most powerful one
from what I can see.
Anyway,
everyone doubts her, and her betrothed and mother both say she'll
probably die and that it was stupid for her to challenge this dude.
She beats the guy, he asks for mercy, and she utters the same line
her mother said on the first episode after she snaps his neck.
As
she is proving herself worthy, Seg wanders around and sorta does a
lot of nothing on this episode. He manages to say that he will not
bow to house Vex and take their name because he won't be used as
their puppet, but will, somehow still remain among the ranked. Now,
at this part I will say that I got a little bored, let my mind wander
(on both viewings) and missed what he figured out, but it was
something that he thought he could use to somewhat lord over the
Vex's head. And we also learn that Nyssa chose him to be her
betrothed through some kind of twisted plot. In other words, she
somehow influenced his being at the courtroom to stop that bomber
that day so that his heroism could be a huge public spectacle. Why? I
don't know. But again, I assume that Seg, Lyta and Nyssa all knew
each other when they were young and all still part of the ranked.
However, it's hard to think that she might've had a crush on him that
lasted for 14 years or that she could know who he is now as opposed
to then, so I'm not sure why she chose him. A mystery for the season.
The
biggest thing was that Detroit (my nickname for him) and Kem went to
the ice lands and did find an orb that they learn at the end of the
show is one of the scout orbs that Brainiac sent. This signifies just
how close he is to the planet (basically, he's already here).
 |
| Brainiac's Skull Ship |
Episode
three dives deeper into Brainiac. We learn—get ready for this one
because this is gonna sorta blow your mind—that Val actually
created the Phantom Zone. That's not the kicker, though. The kicker
is that the Phantom Zone to him is not some prison or empty zone like
it has been in pretty much every TV, film and, for the most part,
comic book iteration of Superman and/or the Justice League that has
come along, but is actually like some kind of wormhole. Think of it
as a mix between The Flash's Speed Force and that strange
four-dimensional book case from Interstellar. According to Val he
explored the universe by using the Phantom Zone, was able to go to
different planets, and he learned of Brainiac through one of his
Phantom Zone excursions. Granted, the way he talks about it is that
he has done all of this through some sort of phantom projection
similar to Marvel's Doctor Strange, so he wasn't there physically and
the zone acts sort of like a TV and telescope combined. But the idea
is there. To recap, the Phantom Zone is not a prison, it's not an
empty vast void like it always has been, it's actually a tool or
passage to another dimension where the mind can travel freely across
time-space.
Val's
Fortress hologram explains that it is because of this travel that he
knows that the orb they found is supposed to be filled with a
parasite. Brainiac himself can determine if a planet has organic
life. Once he knows it does, he sends out the parasite to latch on to
any organic host. That parasite is supposed to get the lay of the
land in order to send info back to Brainiac on whether this city,
culture or planet is worth taking. But the parasite always kills the
host after relaying this info. Of course the orb they find is empty.
They immediately switch to the rankless outlands scavenger who found
it to show us that the parasite has gotten into her and it's just a
matter of time before she is taken over completely. We're supposed to
feel bad for her because she has a daughter and is a friend of Kem
and Seg, but she loses it halfway through the show, beats up a bunch
of guards and runs off for Seg to find her later. Seg does manage to
find her and sees her eyes completely blacked out like Brainiac's
usually are. She tries to strangle him for a while, but he manages to
bop her on the head as she is trying to tear some stuff up with a
computer, so she can learn and send the info back to Brainiac. They
then bring her back to the fortress only to realize that she has
become a Kryptonian transmitter and is sending B the info right now.
As
that is going on, Lyta is sworn in as her squad's new leader after
killing the old one. Even though her mother is proud of that
accomplishment, she's still upset because she doesn't think Lyta will
be good at this job and disobeys the way it is too often. Her
betrothed thinks the same. She proves them both half-right when she
and her squad are dispatched to the rankless slums to quell the
hottest breeding bed for the radicalism of The Black Zero. They're
supposed to question and arrest people and put fear into them that
they should not try to help these rebels. One of her troops gets
overzealous and shoots one of the people, claiming self-defense. Lyta
has her arrested instead of the rankless, ruffling House Vex's
feathers. But Lyta has more to be concerned with because Seg comes to
her with news of his grandfather being right and an evil alien coming
to attack them soon. She suggests they take such proof to the top
government officials, but he says no because he actually has a brain
and has been paying attention to the show. We end with another shot
of Brainiac in the middle of his skull ship with all of his tentacles
crawling across his face as he gets his jollies on anticipating his
next takeover.
 |
| Seg, Daron-Vex, Nyssa-Vex |
What's
my grade? I give it a shaky C. Yep,
that's the first time I've ever given a TV show a shaky grade. I say
that the grade is shaky because one, I'm not grading just for myself
but for you too, and with that in mind, I would say that whether you
enjoy this show depends on so many variables it seems almost unreal.
All I can say is what I do and don't like and why I have judged
things that way.
For
starters, this show is waaaayyyy too dark. Not just in tone but in
actual aesthetic texture. I was literally ten minutes into the first
episode and knew how I'd feel about almost the rest of the series and
came up with this line: they took the Man of Steel aesthetic but
seemingly dropped most of the history and mythos built within that
film. That's factor number one on whether you'll like this show.
I'm
guessing you're reading a post about a comic book show based around
the legacy of Superman because you like Superman, and if you like
Superman you probably saw Zach Snyder's version in the last three
films of Man of Steel, Batman v. Superman and Justice League. If you
like those portrayals, particularly all the stuff from the opening 30
minutes of Man of Steel when they are on Krypton, I'm not saying
you'll like this show, but I am saying that your probability of
enjoying it has increased by 50%. (For a marker, I semi-enjoyed Man
of Steel, but still felt it was far from the Superman we want and
deserve, and thought the opening was incredible). Even better, I
think I can confidently say that they (Syfy and WB) clearly spent
some good money on this show. The sets, for the most part, are real
and not CGI/greenscreened to death. The CGI that they do have (some
of the flying vehicles and beams of light and Brainiac's spaceship,
etc.) have rendered fairly well (better than that monster they
expected us to call Doomsday in BvS). And the angles and shots
sometimes (not all the time) have a film-like quality to them.
 |
| This Aesthetic Appears Only Once or Twice An Episode |
However,
with all of that said, this aesthetic, this vision of Krypton does
not fully match the vision of any other Krypton. I usually watch my
shows late at night after everyone has gone to bed and I am done with
my writing work. That way my eyes can adjust and let more dark light,
shades and tones in, so I can see stuff better, but this show still
felt dark at 1:00am. Everything is soaked in black or dark blue, all
the sets are moody and gray or a dirty white and even much of the
reddish hue that you saw in Man of Steel's rendering or that you
might see on CW's Supergirl, Smallville or in the comics is gone
because everything either happens at night, or the few day shots you
do get the red is more of a burnt sienna or auburn color. Now, I get
why sci-fi TV shows dealing with space often adopt this kind of
aesthetic (look at Expanse, the 90s Star Trek shows, Battlestar
Galactica): because filming with dark tints or color-adjusting in
post helps to hide flaws of set design, costume design or even bad
CGI, etc. It's just like how indie filmmakers will often shoot a film
in black and white because it's cheaper than color-correcting. But my
god, you've got to be able to see all that's going on.
Worse
still, this, like the Man of Steel franchise (we'll just say this for
now and include BvS and JL in that), uses a character in Superman who
is uniquely associated with light and strips away all the vividness
of the precursor narrative. No, they don't have to show some kind of
happy-go-lucky people like what Superman is, but if the name Krypton
was not on the show, you wouldn't think this had anything to do with
Superman. It feels more like a Batman prequel which leads me to my
next point:
The
plot and tenuous connection with Superman. Back when Gotham first
premiered I remember some of the live-or-die-by-comic-books fanboys
losing their mind and bawling their eyes out because they were going
to feature a Batman show without Batman. Now, while some die-hards
still hate the show, it has garnered a healthy and loyal following
that has supported it through multiple seasons. Remember, Gotham
along with Krypton (it took much longer to get this show off the
ground due, I'm hearing, to massive story problems) and Marvel's
Agents of SHIELD came along in a time when the studios wanted to
capitalize on their comic book properties more than ever but didn't
want to overexpose their big-name properties, so figured they could
give side stories that surround our mightiest heroes lives. In other
words, you don't get Thor but maybe you get Lady Sif to come and help
out with a tiny non-world-threatening mission. But where Krypton
differs from Gotham and, to an extent, all of those other peripheral
shows, is that it has nearly no connection to Superman, nor what we
know and love about the character.
On
Gotham it is intriguing to see how the city became so corrupted and
grew increasingly more and more desperate until Batman became a
needed force in the streets. Not only that, but we are able to see
the genesis of some of his villains, especially the older ones.
Batman had a gaggle of different ages of villains, whether it was the
much older Penguin or Professor Strange or Ras Al Ghul, or those
nearer to his age in Catwoman and Poison Ivy. Was there a desire to
see them all in their youth? No, but there was intrigue to see how
they became the desperate, damaged people they are, and what, if any,
noise they made during Batman's formative years. It let us know that
people didn't suddenly explode into villains once Batman came on the
scene, and they weren't all stable adults that had one bad day and
decided to start killing. No, they were around and living often
normal lives but had secrets that slowly revealed themselves. And
Bruce no longer had to be this Jesus-like character: we learn of one
instance in his childhood (Jesus was in the temple being about his
father's work) and then zoom forward to him becoming Batman in
adulthood. His transformation isn't triggered by one or two things,
but a slew of horrible things that forces him into the cape and cowl.
Brainiac Does Look Cool
On
Krypton, we have almost none of that. For starters, setting the show
almost a hundred (or maybe a couple hundred, according to Detroit)
years in the past is such a baffling idea that I can't for the life
of me figure out why they made it. If you're going to go to the past,
either go to the extreme past, like before the world became the ice
palace it is now, or close in the past, like showing his father
either as a child or doing his own fighting as an adult. This
intermediate selection disconnects us from both. Those ruins, how
they got there and why the people now live in force-fields seems like
a far more interesting story I would want to see enacted rather than
told in an expo-dump later this season or in seasons to come. On the
reverse side, showing a young Jor-El maybe falling in love, fighting
with Zod, fighting to save his planet or learning of its imminent
destruction is also more intriguing. But in this show, they decide to
choose his grandfather? Huh? Even worse, his grandfather is talking
to his grandfather, which lets me assume that the world has been like
this in these bubbles for a while. And then they make it into a
political show where the have-nots are fighting against the haves on
a planet we all know will soon blow up. Like, huh? Why should I even
care? Because it's not like there's any drama surrounding a potential
countdown before the world explodes. They don't even now they're in
danger and the danger they have is superfluous to Superman, really.
Again, why should I care? I don't know.
The
time is also interesting because we have no idea how time works on
Krypton, and they refuse to tell us in any solidified agreed-upon
way. We first hear that time operates in years because the show skips
ahead 14 years to catch Seg as an adult. But during the baby Matrix
conception we hear that his and Nyssa's child will live for 173
cycles. So is a cycle a year? Does that mean he'll be 173 when he
dies? How does the time on Krypton compare to the time on Earth? How
old can they live to be on their own planet? And yes geeks and freaks
out there, I know that time and measurements of it work differently
depending on your revolutionary path around the sun and rotational
spin on the planet's axis, but there has to be some set marker of
time between their planet and ours that we can properly identify. We
need that because of my third point on time:
The
villains' ages. If this makes it past season one and it probably will
because it is super-expensive and studios don't like giving up so
easily on expensive stuff related to tentpoles, I assume it will
feature more galactic villains that are familiar to Superman fans.
OK. I'm fine with that, but you have to tell me how old they're
supposed to be, because if they're thousands of years old by the time
they get around to fighting Superman, then they should've clearly won
those battles on the count of them being wiser. But even more to the
point, these villains are world-ending villains. How would these
backwoods Kryptonians defeat them enough to not have killed them but
allowed them to go free and terrorize some other part of the universe
until arriving at earth? With Joker/Jerome (now his twin brother) on
Gotham we know that the kid has been through a bunch of craziness
already and has gone to Arkham and been dead before, so once he and
Bruce finally make their full transformations we'll understand why
they haven't already destroyed each other and might never get around
to it. Here? Brainiac is coming and I have no idea how they're going
to defeat him in an adequate way that will make me think he could
still come back and be this huge villain against Superman, especially
because of my next point:
They
didn't know they weren't the only ones in the universe. Like... what?
Remember back when I started the review section and said that this
show took the aesthetic of Man of Steel without taking the history.
This is what I meant. In that movie, Zod mentions that they've been
going around to different planets and scouting them to see if they
could hold Kryptonian life for thousands of years (yes, we're back on
the time thing). How would they not have encountered aliens? If they
were doing any kind of interstellar travel, wouldn't Oa have
contacted somebody about this? Don't know. In fact, the show posits
that they've never done any kind of space travel. That only leads to
more questions. Are they really an advanced society, because it seems
like they're a society that Captain Kirk and Spock would have orders
to not interfer with. Really, the only super-advanced thing I've seen
them have is how they make the babies, and a few flying cars here and
there. But everything else seems primitive. And if they do get all of
this technology (maybe they obtain it by beating Brainiac), then how
do they get adept enough to use it to send a baby off to a far-off
planet populated with people when they DON'T EVEN KNOW OTHER BEINGS
EXIST! This show is nonsense.
How would they learn all of this
knowledge about the universe—enough to have those tons of crystals
for Superman to study in his Fortress of Solitude—within the span
of two generations? Again, I see where they are or at least could go
with this and use Brainiac as the Deus Ex Machina that launches
Krypton into a golden technological age that would dwarf our own of
the last 60 years in comparison, but gimme a break. Would it even be
fair to call them an advanced civilization at that point if they only
get advanced in the last two generations of their existence? This is
one of the problems I had with Black Panther: they are this
super-advanced society yet still settle matters of a thousand
different other things, including their politics, by rather barbaric
means. I get the fascination for writers to juxtapose the two ideas
of technological advancement with caveman-like behavior but when does
the line get drawn? Hopefully on an alien planet.
 |
| Seg and Lyta |
Speaking
of alien, for all my sci-fi geeks out there, this show is the most
geekworthy-devoid show I probably have ever seen on the Syfy channel,
and I don't watch much of the Syfy channel. There's almost nothing in
it that tells you it is a science fiction show, and that goes doubly
for a show based off of a superhero or comic book character. Dark
Horse comics or some of the other comic vendors that don't have the
big name of DC or Marvel behind them, I can see this being one of
their shows. But a DC show? This? I don't know what this is. On
Krypton none of the Kyrptonians have any superpowers which I'm OK
with (maybe their superpower is to live excessively long regardless
of what planet they are on), although I would've liked it if everyone
had at least one power that everyone could do and to them doesn't
seem super, but I digress. They live like humans, have the same kind
of governmental problems as humans, fight like humans and even love
like humans, but they just don't procreate like us. But here's the
kicker, they also don't seem to have an atmosphere all that different
to earth. I say that because of Mr. Detroit's (Strange) seemingly
unaffected demeanor from walking around on Krypton. Granted, we have
no idea how long he has been there or if he himself is an alien to
both Krypton and Earth, but what we do know is that we never once see
him in a space suit or struggling to breathe in their air or adopt or
adapt to their culture and environment. It literally feels like an
American Michigander crossed the border into Canada and discovered
everyone speaks curiously with a British accent.
With a lack of alien
presence (outside of Brainiac who still isn't on the planet yet),
politics that are playing out too similar to our own (but
surprisingly with dumber twists to them; think India's caste system
and sprinkle in a little bit of Brexit), a weakly-plotted and
executed environmental message (again, where's the story about the
ruins and why the planet is so cold that they can't survive for too
long outside of the force-field), and the fact that they are only
just now realizing that they aren't alone in the universe (mimicking
our current NASA-fueled questions) it makes you wonder as to why they
even decided to make this show and call it Krypton. You take three
things out—the names, the cape, Brainiac—and this is a
run-of-the-mill Syfy channel show with no draw, no comic book fanbase
and rather boring politics. It's trying to be a knock-off of Game of
Thrones but takes none of the good parts of that series and doesn't
add in its own good parts.
Remember,
I've gone through this entire review without talking about the
strange mixing of races which I promised to talk about, the fact that
they felt compelled to use the Man of Steel aesthetic yet used the
Donner movies Superman music, inexplicably have a Fortress of
Solitude for Val (so Superman can't have anything that he himself
came up with?), have yet to show the red sun in all of its glory,
have failed to explain the dude who wears the mask of the many faces,
have failed to explain why the Vex and the others in charge are so
against Val and anyone else talking about life beyond their planet
and have failed to make me adequately care about any of the
characters. Still, with all that said, this is a toss-up to me.
Finally,
I go back to something that Geoff Johns and Goyer were saying. They
were talking about how DC gives their artists so much leeway to do
whatever they want with material. They (Goyer specifically) stressed
how Superman is, even though he grew up in the Midwest, an alien.
They even talked about how he as a superhero is so important and what
he means as a character. Ultimately, the reason why I still hear bad
stuff coming out of DC (this time about Aquaman) is because I still
don't think they understand their properties. Sure, Geoff and Goyer
might understand the character but fail to understand what really
shapes the character and how the fans view the character. Yes, he's
an alien but the only thing that makes him an alien are his powers.
Superman... Clark Kent... Kal-El is ultimately a humble boy from
Kansas who grew up being instilled and filled with love, an
appreciation for all life and understanding the joy of living it.
He's not a hero because it's in his blood or because he feels it is
his duty, he's an ordinary guy who does heroic shiznit because he is
the one who can do it. Literally none of the history of Krypton
shapes Kal-El. Kara on the other hand...
Yet,
even in here, within their own declaration do they fail. While Superman
is supposed to be this big alien playing human, they do nothing to
make this world feel alien to us. In fact, this world is no more
alien to us than Mexico is alien. And before half of the population
starts spouting off about illegals and drugs and poverty and blah,
blah, blah, remember that we have all that crap, too, not to mention
the same dominant religion. Now, Americans going to some place like
Iraq or Jerusalem would be way more of a culture shock than Mexico.
Should
you be watching? This is why the grade is so shaky, because I really
don't know if the average viewer would enjoy this or not. Granted,
there's been plenty of stuff that I've said is stupid and manages to
stay on TV while stuff that I enjoyed was canceled, and I still watch
Agents of SHIELD after all this time, so... But with that said, I
know that some of my own expectations probably clouded my judgment. I
was really excited to see this show because I wanted to know
what they would and could do with a famous name and an almost blank
slate waiting for creativity. What I felt I got was an amalgam of
some of the worst ideas and retreads that I have seen in an original
property in a while. It, sadly, feels like Goyer's other series Flash
Forward which premiered to amazing numbers and had an amazing premise
but sputtered out after only a few episodes because it was big on
concept, yet had no emotional weight and terrible execution. It was a
great idea in theory, but in execution... Eh! Feels the same with
Krypton. If you like political shows where the politics is fuzzy, you
might like this. Like young people rebelling against their parents?
Might like this. Like Game of Thrones but don't like that pesky magic
or the intricate writing? Might like this. Liked the aesthetic but
not the story of Man of Steel? Might like this. Like your sci-fi and
fantasy shows light on sci-fi and fantasy? Might like this. But if
you like something that is fresh and new and exciting and filled with
adventure, or doesn't move slowly, or feels like stuff actually
happens on every single episode, or you're looking for cool Superman
Easter Eggs, or think that Krypton is going to be this rich world
full of fantastic stories to tell, then look elsewhere because this
show is not for you. Krypton airs Syfy Channel Wednesdays at 10pm
EST.
What
do you think? Have you heard of Krypton? If not, do you think you'll
check it out now? If you have heard of it, have you seen it? Do you
like it? Was I too rough on it? What is your favorite part? Do you
think Brainiac will be the main villain for the shows duration or
will they bring in other extraterrestrial rogues? And tell me
honestly if you would've preferred to see a show or at least
something about the ancient past of the Green Lanterns instead. Let me know in the comments below.
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Until next time, “It's a bird!”
“It's a plan! It's su--”
'Hold on! Why the hell are we all
suddenly looking up in the sky and pointing at things that fly? Is
this some weird flash-mob thing I'm in? Or do you two guys just
always travel together and do this in random groups of people to make
them think they might see Superman?'
P.S.
Yeah, I never quite trusted some of the writers behind these Superman
comic books. I always get this sneaking suspicion that they actually
hate Superman as a character and think that he's too goody-two shoes.
It's strange that people are loving Captain America right now but so
many comics fans always credit their dislike of Superman by saying
that he's too perfect or too goody-goody. What the hell do you think
Captain America always was? I digress. I still want to write a
Superman/Justice League movie, because I think I can do the
characters justice, but that's just me. I'll think of a better
sign-off next time.
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