Up, Up, and A, Uh... Hm? Where Do We Go After Up? #Supergirl #PremiereWeek #3WeekRoundUp

Up, Up, and A, Uh... Hm? Where Do We Go After Up? #Supergirl #PremiereWeek #3WeekRoundUp

All pictures courtesy of CBS

Once again it is that time, ladies and gentlemen. It's been on for three weeks (wow! That went by fast). It's time for Supergirl's (#Supergirl) three week roundup. My initials thoughts for this show were sparse as it premiered so late into the fall season that I didn't see the need to think about it much. Suffice it to say that I enjoy all comic book stuff (frankly, I enjoy anything with a good story that can entertain me) and give most of it a chance just because I like seeing the stuff. Fun fact: I also really enjoy TV so, yeah. Amidst the crowded marketplace that is the comic book movie/TV shared conglomeration multinational corporate universe, how is the latest superheroine doing? More hot and cold than Katy Perry in that one song that she sang. God, what was the name of that song?

Supergirl, starring Melissa Benoist as our titular character, follows the exploits of the supposedly lesser known cousin of the man in blue, Superman. For those who don't read the comics and didn't see the 80s film Supergirl of which I have fond memories of seeing, let me give you a little back story. As covered in the premiere, Kal-el's parents weren't just idiots who were going to send their baby son off to some alien planet alone while they died. Instead, they decided to send his cousin Kara-el in her own pod. A girl of 13 at the time of the planet's destruction, she was to take care of her baby cousin and make sure he was protected from whatever foolishness might pop off on earth.

Well, things didn't go as planned when her spacecraft got knocked off course and ended up spending 24 years trapped inside the phantom zone, which is neither a floating piece of thin glass like in the original Superman movies nor penis-shaped pods that go into a spaceship in Snyder's Man Of Steel. Here, it is somewhat of a cosmic mist/black hole/event horizon type thing. They try not to bog the viewer down with specifics but what we do know is that somehow after 24 years of frozen time in that zone, her pod escaped and crashed to earth.

Already established as Superman, her cousin finds her and her pod and brings her to the Danvers' family (do not get that confused with Marvel in any way) where she lives out her days with an older sister, gasp! Flash forward about 12 years and we find are humble hero being anything but heroic. A near carbon copy of her cousin, she finds herself wearing glasses, some of the cutest skirts and dresses I've seen in a while (yes, straight men do notice stuff like that) and working at a digital and print media empire founded, formed and run by Cat Grant played by TV vet Calista Flockhart (glad to see her back after Brothers and Sisters). Hence, Catco subs in for the Daily Planet, and National City (hey, that used to be a Midwestern bank for which my mother worked) is the fill-in Metropolis.

Funny, this city's Jimmy Olsen is the same Jimmy Olsen, though he's six feet of black hunkiness and prefers to be called James (OK, that may have gone too far, but I can admit when another man is attractive). Played by Mehcad Brooks, James just moved from Metropolis. Now, the pulitzer prize-winning photojournalist is running the photo department for Catco. It is established pretty early that not only is Superman very well established as he was wearing the costume when he found Kara years ago (somewhere around 11 or 12, meaning he's around 36 after spending 24 years on Earth without her; I did so many maths there), but he also has had enough time on earth to let a few people discover his secret identity. That probably means that Lois knows who he is by now. I guessed within the first few minutes that he sent James there specifically to look after his cousin Kara and maybe push her to become her own eventual hero. What he probably didn't expect were the goo eyes she'd make at James.

Is it hot in here, or do I just have the Fever?

That's right, if I were her friend I would give Kara a brush machete for Christmas to clear out some of that safari grass because she has the deepest jungle fever that I've seen allowed on prime time at 8pm on Monday nights in a long time. Never mind the fact that her other colleague who is a bit of a nerd (what Jimmy was to Clark Kent) has a huge crush on her, her guy is of the tall, black, bald and handsome variety, not to mention older. Due to what I see as one of the biggest problems of this show which I will cover later, he doesn't let on to knowing that she is Clark's cousin right away, so they have to do this dance which was a total farce in my eyes.

Currently a regular 24-year-old woman waiting to make her mark on the world, she lives alone in an apartment which is clearly too expensive for her if National City is any bigger than a pea. Her sister, played by the always lovely Chyler Leigh (still miss you on Grey's; still think Not Another Teen Movie is so underrated; we won't mention Taxi Brooklyn) has a talk with her before leaving for a flight. As luck would have it, Kara sees the flight in danger hours later and flies up to save it, performing her first heroic feat. Things get dicey when people complain about how she saved the flight, having to turn the plane on its side, scraping the wing across a bridge and landing the plane in the river where it slowly sank after all the people were rescued.

A clear novice, heroism felt good and contrary to her sister's demands not to reveal herself, she does. First she tells her love-struck coworker that she saved the plane because she, too, is a Kryptonian. Then she goes through a quick 90s Clueless shopping/getting ready for a party montage to find a proper superhero costume. No, seriously, she just had everything she needed lying around. The red boots, the golden belt, the modest but stylish skirt--I'll give you the S and even the cape but really? Come on!

And out to save more people. As she tries being a hero again, tracking down her first ever super-powered enemy, she gets into a real fight with him and realizes, "holy cannoli, I don't know how to fight." She is saved by, wait for it... wait for it... her sister! What? I know, right?

Turns out, her sister Alex works for an organization called the DEO--Department of Extranormal Operations. And in this organization is where I found my most beloved character. The head of the DEO is this deliciously over-the-top black guy that delivers his lines so perfectly that they run the line of complete cheesy camp and realistic seriousness. The closest thing I could think of to describe him would be the pilots or Leslie Nelson's character in the Airplane movies. His constant scowl and bad mood make me want to do nothing more than flick his nose and watch him freak out about it.

Anyway, Alex has been working for the DEO for a while. Since Superman's arrival, the governments of the world felt they needed to keep watch for more aliens. Remember that strange ill-explained phantom zone? Apparently Kara wasn't the only one in there. During her escape, her spacepod somehow tugboat-ed out a larger prison vessel which crashed on earth too. Housing not just Kryptonians but prisoners throughout the galaxy (or universe, whichever) this dropped a clue to the history of Krypton. It seems they served as galactic peacekeepers/jailers. With Krypton gone villains who got locked away by Kara's mom (a judge there) want revenge on the remaining Kryptonians as well as to take over the world. The DEO's job is to stop that. After a little back and forth about how she isn't ready and is just a hindrance whereas Superman is built for this, they support her in a fight against the big guy that was throwing her around.

Kara saves the day by heat visioning the crap out of his ax and standing nearby as he killed himself, talking about something that was coming. The day saved, she escapes with few scratches and lives to be given the moniker Supergirl by Cat Grant. There's some back and forth about calling her a girl as opposed to a woman, and Cat explains it away to make it sound cool. James tells her he knows her secret and gives her a present from Clark--an indestructible cape. I want to delve into what's wrong with this show so much, but I still have two episodes to get through.

The second episode shows more of what the first bad guy eluded to. Kara's gallery of rogues is led by a very familiar face. Before the planet exploded, Kara's mom sentenced one last criminal to the phantom zone, her own twin sister. Outside of the mind-blowing fact that Krypton had twins just as Earth, we are to understand that she was a general (cough General Zod cough) who wants to subjugate the planet. Why she hasn't already done this, I don't know as she has plenty of supervillains on her side.

My mother's evil twin sister Astra... or the other one. 

Kara's first brush with kryptonite, she and her adopted earth sister fight in a training chamber so Alex can teach her tactical sparring. She doesn't learn much but does leave sore. Cat not only treats her like crap but wants James to use his Supes connections to get her an exclusive sit down with Supergirl or else he's fired. She also suggests the heroine start small and work her way up to big stuff after she ruined an oil tanker by ripping it open when trying to pull it away from a fire--eco-disaster.

Over-The-Top Black guy, you make my day.

Taking the advice, she does start small, stopping robbery, saving snakes named fluffy from trees--the usual stuff. But when a bug-alien that disguises itself as human kills and feeds on power, she has to stop him, unknowing that he works for her aunt. She and her aunt tussle as her sister defeats the bug. Over-the-top black guy makes some snappy comments about not calling her Supergirl and it is revealed that he, too, is some kind of enhanced human or alien as his eyes occasionally glow red. Finally, to save James' job, she goes and talks to Cat.

The third show opened with the continuing interview where Kara reveals that she is Superman's cousin. James then slips up and blurts out that Clark Kent is superman (is there no secrecy anymore). They find a little office space down the hall from their desks that no one uses that they decide to make into their psuedo-base, and I was like whaaaa? So, you're really just gonna have your superhero HQ in an office down the hall from where you work? OK. And to top it all off Cat made Kara treat that redheaded man like a redheaded stepchild. "That's hair-ist!" you say? First off, don't yell at me, because the show decided to pick on the ginger. The villain of the week: Reactron, a human poisoned with radiation who lost his family during a Superman rescue mission. Now, he uses a suit to fly and fight against all superpowered beings but especially against Superman--he's nearly killed him a few times.

When he nearly kills Kara she is saved by her cousin who swooshes in last minute and rescues both her and this other guy who thinks she's nothing but a menace. The hero she is, she throws a fit about not needing his help and how James was wrong for calling him because she could have saved the day herself. Then, during Cat's party later that night, the guy comes back with his suit supercharged and tries again to kill her. James runs distraction and gets the guy to chase him while Kara is fed info on how to stop him, which she subsequently does. Her confidence at an all time high, she goes to possibly ask James out the next day but finds that Lois Lane's younger sister is there to visit James. As it turns out, she also has a fever hailing from where the lion sleeps tonight as James is implied to be her ex. Kara sulks and chats with Superman on the computer to cheer herself up. And as if the show couldn't get anymore cheesy, they end with her and Alex eating while the song "Girls Just Wanna Have Fun" plays in the background. Are you serious? Boy, where do I begin on my critique.

What's my rating? I give this show a B-. Before you chomp my head off superhero fans, let me explain. A few years back I was ordered to write a book entitled The Provocateur by a group of people. Not my proudest work, one of the things in the book is the idea that women are constant imitators and rarely originators outside of bringing life into this world. In other words, they will take something already formed and created by men and make it theirs. I know, that will piss off plenty of female readers but while the female Ghostbusters, the planned female version of Ocean's Eleven, the Expendabelles and a slew of other movies play into this very trend, none of them top Supergirl's imitation.

My laser beams glow blue because I don't want to be mistaken for Superman

I really like this show, but it is hella frustrating for the show to be packaged the way it is. As much as it tries to stay away from Superman, they mention him every single episode between every single commercial break. We get it, Kara doesn't want to be known as the lesser female version, but if she spent less time bringing it up, maybe people wouldn't notice. Oddly, this leads to my biggest gripe with the show--there wasn't enough Superman, or rather enough of his influence.

From what the show tells us, Kal-el found his cousin out in the middle of nowhere and dropped her with a loving family (Dean Cain from Lois and Clark, and the original Supergirl from the 80s movie). After that it suggests that was the last time she really saw or talked to him, and that even though he knows she is probably one of the only other people in the world who is similar to him, he isn't the least bit concerned with her. Even taking into account the crystals in his fortress of solitude, he doesn't want to know about what his parents were really like, how kind they were as an aunt and uncle, how much they really loved each other, or how Krypton was. What was it like to go to school there, to grow up there, the sunsets, the sunrises, etc.

This is your family! Don't contact me ever for anything. Love, Superman.

Apparently, he doesn't care about any of that because he's too busy saving the world? Also, he knows that she'll be dealing with superpowers but it seems he never showed her the fortress, or the crystals, or taught her how to fly, or anything... ever! Listen, I know that there's some filling in of the audience that needs to be done, but to have Kara be just as clueless about her cousin as everyone else is, if not more subverts one of the main purposes of the show and it also paints Superman in an even worse light than Man of Steel did. Superman is kind of a dick to not share or care anything about his little cousin. I understand family riffs and all of that, but there shouldn't have been any of that. Superman is acting more like Batman every day.

As I mentioned up top, one of the main purposes of the show was to be a pillar of feminism and femininity which I can understand. But I feel in more ways than one that the show misfires drastically on this thrust. First off, they called out Millennials (as is the cool thing to do now) as being the whiny bunch that constantly needs help. Not going to say that is or isn't true about some of the Millennials I've known, but I will say that it doesn't look good to possibly offend the very viewership you covet. Then, Supergirl plays directly into this. 

Not only does the show play into the stereotype that women don't know what they want (help or no help), but that they do need help. She has the entire DEO to help her defeat villains. Superman had, what, Jimmy with a camera and Lois who, let's be honest, was more of a hindrance than a help? She has a set-out model for what to do and how to be and she still complains because she feels it's unfair to compare her to Supes because he's a man? Because none of her criticism could be genuine like what Supes got as a hero, it all comes from a sexist slant? Ugh! Essentially the entire show is not Supergirl, not a story of its own making that could have taken these strange and wonderful turns, exploring how it is to adjust to a culture after living in another one for so long or figuring out how to be a better superhero than those that came before you. No, this is Superman in a skirt. This is why people (both men and women) complain about stuff like the new Ghostbusters, because the only change made is a gender swap. And with so much rich back story waiting to be mined and a virtually new character (people didn't look fondly on that 80s movie like I did), they could have done some really cool stuff. Instead, we get the same, "you aren't ready. Hide your powers. You can't do this. Oh you're a girl. I'm gonna prove that I'm just as capable as a man," shtick we've been getting for years from other superhero shows (minus the girl part). This was also the complaint people had with the shared universe thing for DC because they wonder how new superheroes will act when the old ones have been around for years. "Well, they'll act the same way and have the same struggles." Maybe, but not likely.

With that said, should you be watching? Yes. Look, with all of the stuff that's on Mondays at 8pm, it is difficult to type that definitive yes in there, but I did it because I do like the show. I enjoy the cast. I had doubts about Melissa (really only because I wanted a natural blonde for the role as Supergirl is supposed to be) but she does a fine job with what they give her. And that over-the-top black guy can give Hotels.com's Mr. Obvious a run for his money, and is worth the price of admission alone. As far as the female audience, though I actually find Crazy Ex-Girlfriend to be a smarter show, I think this is more family-oriented and has less chance at producing dead air. Don't, however, expect something ground-breaking. Also, don't listen to those supposed Hollywood insiders that say that this will revolutionize TV and film superheroes because Hollywood won't be afraid to make a female superhero anymore. Don't know where they got that BS, but Hollywood was never afraid to make a female superhero, otherwise the original Wonder Woman show, the 80s Supergirl and practically the first three X-men movies wouldn't have even gotten made, let alone Catwoman.

What do you think? Am I being too hard on the show? Were you expecting something a little different like I was, knowing that Kara hadn't come to earth as a baby? Were you expecting for her to at least have some family contact with Clark? Do you even watch this show? Let me know in the comments below (hint: click the no comments button if you see no comments).

Check out my new comedy novel Yep, I'm Totally Stalking My Ex-Boyfriend. #AhStalking

If you’re looking for a scare check #AFuriousWind, #DARKER, #BrandNewHome or  #ThePowerOfTen. For those interested in something a little more dramatic, check out #TheWriter. The full first season is out now NOW exclusively on Amazon. If you like fast action crime check out #ADangerousLow. The sequel A New Low will be out in a few months. Join us on Goodreads to talk about books and TV, and subscribe to and follow my blog with that Google+ button to the right.

Until next time, "she's got jungle fever. He's got jungle fever. They both got jungle fever. They're in love."

P.S. I think I'm paraphrasing but Stevie Wonder couldn't have said it better. I'll try to think of something better next post.

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Twinsanity (or in other words, yes this title is a lazy copout) #Quantico #ABC

Twinsanity (or in other words, yes this title is a lazy copout) #Quantico #ABC

All pictures courtesy of ABC 

So, last night while writing this I contemplated whether I would make my next NaBloPoMo post about a show as they usually are or if I would switch it up and make it about the writing. Tomorrow I probably will make it one on the writing and how that is going as NaBloPoMo and NaNoWriMo are competing for my writing time. Heck, writing a blog post a day is a lot of work but to be trying to finish a bestselling novel in the same time is proving even more difficult. In my six days of writing last week I didn't get anywhere near where I wanted to get in my novel, but I'm rocking it out on the posts. More about that tomorrow. For now, let's talk some crazy spy-ness.

This week's Quantico (#Quantico) was a big episode because it finally covered the twins. Leaving us with a cliffhanger from last week when the two women locked Asher in their bathroom, this episode opened with the recruits going through some more physical fitness stuff all without Asher. Where everyone thought he was, I don't know (it bothered me all episode) but since no one asked, it clearly showed just how much they care for their fellow recruit. He had to deal with the head lady who didn't want her secret project compromised with him opening his big mouth about the truth. What does Asher do as soon as she lets him out and he goes to class, he tells "Nimah" to stay away from him, "both of you," while sitting next to the blonde gay guy who already found out he wasn't gay. That might have been a clue, might not have--I don't know. What I do know is that he was pissed.

Back in the future just after the terrorist attack, after Alex discovered the footage showing one of the twins in Grand Central before the blast, she jumped to the conclusion that they had either been turned by radical Islam or had always been radical Muslims. But when they find an address for the twins in NYC (why was everyone stationed in NYC?), Alex and Asher go to their apartment to find Raina praying and unaware of where her sister is or if she was still alive. As a side, yes, Raina (or Rayna?) is the name of the twin sister who is the kinder one who likes Asher, but they went under her sister's name for whatever reason.

Hi, I'm Fletcher

As the story switches back and forth we see that Alex and the gang are all in danger both in the future and the past, or the present and the past. Ahh, now I'm getting confused. Back as trainees, their mid-term exam was to use all of their skills acquired from the first third of training to complete a test. Thinking it a written exam after receiving a paper, they quickly realize the paper is blank and start to consider other ways they could be getting tested. Alex thinks it has something to do with the amount of papers they received. The group hands in the paper and realize they are one piece short, a 60 out of 61 people. When they use the classroom surveillance to discover it was the rich kid Fletcher who never got a paper, he freaks out about how he shouldn't have been there and was failing out anyway. He storms out the room and triggers a full classroom shutdown that shuts the blinds and turns off the AC. Now they have to figure out if he was a real traitor/danger to his fellow trainees like the suicidal Mormon was earlier in the year, or if he is part of the test.

Their quest of discovery leads them to find a trigger under his seat counting down from three hours. His girlfriend, tomboy who likes Booth, said that he went for a walk the night before causing the group to check the surveillance camera in the class during that time. He's on the recording placing something in the podium. What else is it but a bomb!

Meanwhile, back in the future, Raina takes Asher and Alex to the place where they've been looking down on a house where known Islamic militants have been living. Undercover, they infiltrated the organization as Nemah, and were trying to stop an imminent terrorist threat. With Nimah currently inside, they send Raina across the street to sneak in and take her place, but Nemah doesn't want to switch out. She asks to go back in after telling Alex and Asher about her cover. While undercover for the last week, she had to sleep with the main guy to get more info in hopes of stopping the attack. She never switched out because she didn't want the near virginal Raina to have to submit to the sexual advances of a terrorist. As it happens, he comes back expecting more from Raina than just a few shy giggles.

Everything blows up in their face when Booth and Shelby arrive with a hidden tracker on them, leading Liam and tomboy straight to their location. Not only are they helping fugitive Alex, but they are risking the life of a field agent by allowing Raina to remain in that house. As the FBI raids the apartment, Nimah, Alex, and Booth run across the street to rescue Raina. In the hubbub, the terrorist comes out to see the twins and fires at them, missing and hitting Booth (damn, how many times is this dude gonna get shot... or stabbed?). They manage to escape but only because tomboy loves Booth and she'd rather tend to his wounds than bring in Alex.

Sorry Edie, you're gone from another show. 

Back during training, Asher steps up to diffuse the bomb as he's the only experienced explosives expert. Typical movie/show bomb stuff, he cuts and pulls some wires to speed up the timer, but in doing so opens the door out of the classroom. Some people too frightened by blowing up scamper away. Those that stay watch the countdown end and the director come waltzing in talking about congratulations for passing the test. They needed to risk their lives for the country or else why be there?

Unfortunately those who ran get expelled, including the blonde gay guy that figured out Asher's secret. Oddly, the non-gay Asher allows himself a kiss with the gay guy. A few other stories tidying up: Booth is given the opportunity for reinstatement as a full agent but says he has to think about it; Shelby meets Caleb's dad, the same man she has an affair with in the future; and the director revealed to the group that Nimah and Raina were twins to keep Asher from going crazy.

What do you think? Will Asher and Raina finally get to really start dating? Will Booth find a way not to get shot or stabbed or nearly killed again in the next seven episodes? And who do you suspect is the killer/terrorist? My money is still on Shelby. Let me know in the comments below (hint: click the no comments button if you see no comments).

Check out my new comedy novel Yep, I'm Totally Stalking My Ex-Boyfriend. #AhStalking

If you’re looking for a scare check #AFuriousWind, #DARKER, #BrandNewHome or  #ThePowerOfTen. For those interested in something a little more dramatic, check out #TheWriter. The full first season is out now NOW exclusively on Amazon. If you like fast action crime check out #ADangerousLow. The sequel A New Low will be out in a few months. Join us on Goodreads to talk about books and TV, and subscribe to and follow my blog with that Google+ button to the right side.

Until next time, "when to the show, sittin' in the front row with a black track suit and it's shutdown."

P.S. OK, the shutdown of the FBI classroom reminded me of London rapper Skepta's hit song Shutdown. If you haven't heard it and you like rap you need to check it out. I'll think of a better sign-off next time, but until then everything is shutdown!

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Sickness And Re-Birth #AmericanHorrorStory #AHSHotel #DVRRewind

Sickness And Re-Birth #AmericanHorrorStory #AHSHotel #DVRRewind

All pictures courtesy of FX 

As NaBloPoMo pushes forward (more on that later), I find myself nearly overwhelmed with all of the writing. Today is someone important's birthday and I can't sit and write all day. But I will try to sneak in a blog post before I have to stop and give all my attention to them.

This week's DVR rewind is once again American Horror Story Hotel (#AHSHotel). Like any good fan, I've been keeping up every week with my DVR (sometimes I can't watch it live because I have to write or am watching something else), and man has it become crazy. Vampires galore and ghosts killing people in deadly ghost parties, and Angela Bassett still looking fine at her age (side note: I have a little crush on Angela Bassett. So what, it's not a crime!). They're throwing a lot of movie motifs and tropes at us and though we've seen and read plenty of them before, they feel fresh.

After last week's discovery that her son was still living (sorta) in the Hotel Cortez with Lady Gaga as his new mom, Alex the nurse married to the detective agreed to become a "vampire" just like her son so she could be around him forever. This week's episode "Room Service" opened with her not yet conformed to the full effects. A sickly dead look on her face, she works to cure the boy with measles and holistic parents. Near death because his parents neglected to give him a measles vaccination, Alex does the dumbest thing ever and pumps the boy's IV full of some of her own blood after gorging on a few packets locked in storage. Now watch this stupid chick next week as she tries to convince Gaga that she didn't know what would happen. If she says that I will give her the most severe side eye the world has ever known. With the child first appearing fine, hell breaks loose as the mother takes the boy home and suddenly things start turning very Salem's Lot-ty.

The boy does in his parents the morning before going off to school on what was the school's celebration day of Halloween. Costumed up, he talks to his best female friend and gets her to sneak away to the closet in back of the room to kiss. Mind you they're only around nine or ten years old but they get caught when he bites the girl's lip and allows her to taste his blood. And so the infection begins. The teacher's throat slit, he turns his entire class, which then try gorging on another man who I can only guess was the principal. By the time it ends, every adult is dead and the vampire children have to be "rescued" by SWAT from the tall gunman wearing all black--a lie they crafted.

Meanwhile, Angela Bassett's and Matt Bomer's characters plot to bring down Queen Gaga. With Matt out of the picture as her main boy-toy squeeze, they use the next best thing, his mother. Still going through the immortal sickness herself, Kathy Bates finally drinks a blood mixture made specifically for Gaga by the cross-dressing bartender Liz Taylor. Over blood cocktails and cat food (read: liver pate) for some arrogant hipster guests, Liz reveals his story. He's not gay nor does he say he is a transgender but just a crossdresser.

Thirty years prior he had a family, a wife and a kid and either flew airplanes or was a pharmaceutical rep (did anyone else get confused by that? He said that the picture of the airplane the boy drew was wrong because he flew in a 757, right? But he also said he was a rep). One day, while on a business trip to LA, he meets Gaga as she sneaks into his room while he is having a Chaka Khan's "I'm Every Woman" moment. Completely wasting the chance for Gaga to say the words, "you're on the right track baby, you were born this way," she instead convinces him to no longer hide and walk down the hall in a negligee, fur and makeup. He does and gets caught by the guys on the business trip with him. They tease, then gay bash, then throats get sliced open by Gaga and he never goes back to his family, sending them money until the youngest kid turned 18. The takeaway: he's not a frickin' vampire or a ghost!

His bravery--or deadbeatness, whichever--inspires Kathy Bates to kill the uppity guests and feed on them as she will be visible, she will matter.

Meanwhile, the detective did nothing the whole episode but freak out about everything. Now, lately I've been feeling a little mentally slower than normal and it has concerned me greatly, but I made sure to pay close attention last night and I was quite confused on his story too. Last week after attending the murder ghost soiree (fancy word for dinner party) he ended up leaving with Blonde And Teased, Sarah Paulson's character. But when we first see him on this week's episode, he is in his captain's office complaining about doing a full building search on these people claiming to be famed killers. His reputation already fractured after a mental break suffered five years earlier, his captain can't have such behavior reflect badly on his precinct and fires dude. And I was all like, "what!?" They're firing people now because they don't want to go through the hassle of doing their own job, basically? Whoa! OK.

And as if that weren't confusing enough, his next scene had him waking in bed with blondie but not remembering it. Now, did she save him that night, take him to his room, screw the memory of sex right out of him, he went to the police station, got fired, came back to the hotel where she subsequently screwed him so good she sexed his memory out AGAIN because that's how they played it unless there was some time-jump in there I'm not aware of. Dude woke up and demanded she get out of his bed as only bits and pieces of their slap and tickle session flashed through his mind.

I had sex with who? How many times? 

I'm not really sure where his story line is going but with his wife now sleeping in a coffin with their vampire son and him not being any wiser that she's even moved into the hotel, one question I do have is who the hell is taking care of their daughter? Did that bother anyone else? I mean, you got these bloodthirsty vampire kids about to take over the city and I don't know where their other child is. And that is truly terrifying.

What do you think? Are you loving this season of American Horror Story or is it not your most favorite rendition? Do you think Angela, Matt and Kathy will bring down Gaga or are they all fated for some big weird vampire sex scene (hey, it's two ex-lovers and an old lady. I'm just saying Gaga doesn't discriminate)? And what do you think will develop from the kid vampires? Will they have to get their own rendition of Van Helsing up in there? Let me know in the comments below (hint: click the no comments button if you see no comments).

Check out my new comedy novel Yep, I'm Totally Stalking My Ex-Boyfriend. #AhStalking

If you’re looking for a scare check #AFuriousWind, #DARKER, #BrandNewHome or  #ThePowerOfTen. For those interested in something a little more dramatic, check out #TheWriter. The full first season is out now NOW exclusively on Amazon. If you like fast action crime check out #ADangerousLow. The sequel A New Low will be out in a few months. Join us on Goodreads to talk about books and TV, and subscribe to and follow my blog with that Google+ button to the right side.

Until next time, "'when there's some-thing strange in your neigh-bor-hood, who you gonna call?' Wait, do the Ghostbusters do vampires or just demons, gooey green blobs and overgrown marshmallows?"

P.S. I swear when I first saw Angela Bassett's character I thought for sure they were doing their own female take on Van Helsing which makes Gaga sorta Dracula. Come on, a Vampire infestation only has about two names on the list: Dracula and Abraham Lincoln Vampire Slayer. It's true. Better sign-off next time. You know the deal.

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Truth Be Told... I Have No Idea How I Feel About This Show #TruthBeTold #PremiereWeek #3WeekRoundup

Truth Be Told... I Have No Idea How I Feel About This Show #TruthBeTold #PremiereWeek #3WeekRoundup

All pictures courtesy of NBC unless otherwise noted 

Surprise, I'm doing another three week roundup of a new show this season because, you know, I wanna keep you all informed about what you should and shouldn't be watching and the things you have or haven't heard of. Is this one late? Yes, by a week, but some of these late-premiering shows I wasn't going to initially do because it really ticked me off that the networks don't give us everything all at once. I like all at once, the overload of it. Anyway, as with all of these posts if you want to know my initial thoughts on this show and any other network TV new show then click the #Premiere Week link up top but as a refresher I'll say that my thoughts on this show were sparse because I had no idea what this show was about. NBC's fall lineup marketing budget clearly went all to Heroes Reborn, The Player and Blindspot because some of the other new shows I didn't even see an ad for until September when the other shows had been advertised all summer long. Hell, I didn't even know when Grimm was coming back until a week before it did. So how is the old Wesen-dominated supernatural/fairy tale show's new lead-in doing?

Truth Be Told (#TruthBeTold) stars Mark-Paul Gosselaar, Vanessa Lachey, and two newbie black actors (new to me) that fans might have caught glimpses of in recent comedies. Tone Bell (the man, just in case anyone has trouble identifying gender based on name) was most recently seen as the witty wise-cracking bailiff on NBC's other failed comedy from last year Bad Judge. Was that show Seinfeld or Friends or The Office, no; however, I rather enjoyed its dysfunction. I thought Tone did quite well as the sidekick--yes, I know black sidekick guy is a stereotype but he did it well. The other newbie to me is Bresha Webb who is probably most famous for her guest starring stint on Grey's Anatomy, though her IMDb page might say differently. Although a viewer might also recognize her if they happen to be a big horror buff who loves Indies (side note: I am and I can only remember her from Grey's). Together, these four make up the two couples around which this show is based.

The premise of the show as I now understand it is for them to approach possible hot button/ controversial/non-PC topics in the typical 90s sitcom way. Yes, that means it has a laugh track. No, I don't think it hinders the show. It should be noted that this show was originally entitled People Are Talking which defines the ho-humness perfectly. Mainly focusing on marriage, it at least gets the diversity reward as it features only one white man in the cast (no white women. Sorry). Outside of those few details that is pretty much it. That's about all you need to know about the show and hence, why NBC probably didn't promote it very well and why they stuck it on Fridays in the dead zone that is 8:30. I know this doesn't fare to well as Constantine ran at 8pm last year (it switched times with Grimm which still managed to pull an audience) and it did nothing. Dracula had been on at 9pm after Grimm the previous season and it also did nothing. The point is that outside of Grimm and Dateline, NBC hasn't had success with filling the third hour of prime time regardless of if its 8 or 9 and regardless of the type of shows they put there. This year, they go for the two straight comedies and while Undateable Live seems like the biggest farce a network has perpetrated on its loyal viewers, at least it does have a certain intrigue to it because it's live. Truth be told, Truth Be Told does not have that (you knew I'd use that joke at least once in this post. Wordplay. Tee-hee!).

For the little buzz (we're talking so little a bee couldn't hear it) surrounding this show and the concept, there's not a lot of controversy to the subject matter. You want true controversy read The Provocateur but I digress. The first three episodes seemed like standard fare right out of a 90s sitcom playbook. Everything from the babysitter has a dark past to old couples arguing vs. new couples arguing to little kid sees what she shouldn't--it's all there for the watching and for you to enjoy at your leisure. Ground-breaking? No. Oddly, not even the black jokes have any bite anymore as Mark's character's use of the N-word is briefly discussed. I'm not sure how to even summarize the three episodes any more succinctly as I did a few sentences back but here it goes.

The first episode started in a Chinese restaurant where we meet Mark and Tone's characters and briefly debate the authenticity of the counter girl's Chinese accent. Tone correctly points out that the accent is fake, after which they leave to the valet and Tone asks for his Porshe. When returning the car, the valet gives the keys to the white man based on the fact that a John Mayer CD was playing inside. So black people can't like John Mayer? He was on Chappelle Show with Dave Chappelle. THE CHAPPELLE SHOW WITH DAVE CHAPPELLE! I love John Mayer's music and anybody that tells me I can't is just gonna make me write in even more prominently capitalized letters--it's possible... I think.

The rest of the episode deals with some tickets Tone's wife gets from an ex to go backstage at a Jay-Z concert. Mark and his wife are invited but have to find a babysitter for their one night out in 46 days. Naturally, she's hot but she also has a Latina complexion which makes her "racially ambiguous." Neverminding that, Tone thinks he recognized her from a porno. The two men investigate his claim and think it's her. Tone doesn't want to tell the ladies, fearing it will ruin the night. But Mark--did I mention he is an Ethics professor--blurts out the truth as they sit in the driveway. The babysitter comes out to catch them all watching side-by-side videos of the porn and a vacation vid from her Facebook, prompting her to leave. They never get the answer to the question and their night is ruined. See where this series is going?

The second episode goes in a similar fashion as Tone gets tickets to the AVN awards (for people not in the know or who actually have morals the AVN stands for Adult Video Gubernatorial Awards--the "guber" is silent. Or wait, that N might stand for news, though what network carries porn news?. Playing a rising star comedian, he is an honored guest because the producers want access to his Twitter following. Since Mark and Vanessa are the longer-standing couple, they try to school Tone and Bresha on how to have trust. Yadda, yadda, yadda, he lies about an after-party, she shows her insecurity, they start not to go but have to go back home and interrupt the guys' night to solve the conflict with their wives, Tone and Bresha end up not going while Mark and Vanessa go with the other two guys in the group. All is forgiven and lessons in truth, honesty and trust are learned. Hiz-zah!

The third episode sees Mark having to babysit swap with the Orthodox Jewish couple from across the street. Watching after his daughter and their daughter, he panics and takes them to Tone and Bresha's house where Tone has a sing-a-long karaoke of the full soundtrack of Disney's Frozen because his wife thought his gift request for the film was a joke. For reasons that defy logic, Tone goes to take a shower while the kids and Mark are over there. As Mark tries to get the karaoke machine to work, the Jewish girl runs off through the house, wanders through the unlocked bathroom door and sees through the perfectly clear, non-fogging shower glass (a kind of creepy feature for a bathroom unless you live in the Playboy mansion) and sees Tone's "BBC." At that point, I didn't know what was more shocking: the fact that they've used this same instance countless times on TV before or the fact that they said BBC. OK, really I wasn't shocked at all that they used the set-up, but I really wanted to write an "or" comparative statement and I had nothing else to compare their use of the word BBC to.

Naturally, everyone but ethicist Mark wants to cover it up. But when she draws a picture of it and the parents think it is of the male babysitter instead, their cover-up results in his firing. A potential good thing as Mark and Vanessa now have access to the great babysitter, Mark blurts out the truth while at the Jewish household. Even though they already don't like the black guy, the Jewish family still decides to attend Mark and Vanessa's daughter's sixth birthday party knowing that their none-children having black friends will be there. The judgy stay-at-home moms are looking for career woman Vanessa to redeem herself from last year's fairy princess stripper-gate but the party blows. Frozen sing-a-long time! Recently working in a yogurt commercial, Tone happens to have a costume similar to Olaf the snowman and comes out for all the kids to see and touch and enjoy. When he starts to get jiggy with it the suit rips exposing, once again, his BBC. I know what your'e thinking right now. "Whoa, wait a minute. Did that guy just say something about getting jiggy with it?" Yes, I fit that Will Smith reference in. Yep.

What's my grade? I give this a C. I enjoy the chemistry of the cast and think everyone plays off of each other well. I especially like Tone as I did in Bad Judge. But at times Mark sticks out as if he doesn't fully believe in the character or the script. Sometimes I wish Zack could just go back to when the days were simple, and he and his cardboard Kelly cutout could live in peace. A guy can dream, can't he?

Picture courtesy of Saved By The Bell

Should you be watching? Meh! If you already have something else to watch or do on Friday, then no you probably shouldn't tune in for this show. If, however, you use your DVR as much as you breathe air, then give this a shot and see how it feels in your eyeballs (that came out more creepy than I anticipated). While the show is hit or miss and a rehash of something you've already seen before, it did give me a few laughs and it might do the same for you, depending on your sense of humor and your mood. I binge-watched the first three episodes after a long day of outside winter preparation for my gardens which I will be posting about soon. My body was fatigued and I hadn't used my brain much all day. Oh, and Ashley Tisdale was on there too. Yay, Ashley Tisdale.

What do you think? Am I being too hard on this freshman show and not seeing its comedic brilliance? Do you watch the show? If so, who is your favorite character and why? The episode order has been cut so this might not make it. If you want it to, tell all your friends about it. Do you want it to survive or is this cancel-bait? Let me know in the comments below (hint: click the no comments button if you see no comments).

Check out my new comedy novel Yep, I'm Totally Stalking My Ex-Boyfriend. #AhStalking

If you’re looking for a scare check #AFuriousWind, #DARKER, #BrandNewHome or  #ThePowerOfTen. For those interested in something a little more dramatic, check out #TheWriter. The full first season is out now NOW exclusively on Amazon. If you like fast action crime check out #ADangerousLow. The sequel A New Low will be out in a few months. Join us on Goodreads to talk about books and TV, and subscribe to and follow my blog with that Google+ button to the right side.

Until next time, "hey, I'm just your typical black sidekick. Thank god this isn't a scary movie because if it was I'd probably already be--ahhh! Stop killing me!"

P.S. Though he is a lead, why does Tone Bell still feel like a sidekick here? Maybe it's because they're always filmed inside Mark and Vanessa's house? Don't know. I'll come up with a better sign-off next time.

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The Player Is Still Playing... For Now #ThePlayer #NBC

The Player Is Still Playing... For Now #ThePlayer #NBC

All pictures courtesy of NBC

The latest episode of the as yet not officially canceled The Player (#ThePlayer) started with a boom. So how is the show whose episode order was cut down to nine doing? It's moving along.

Still in search of his wife, this week Kane and the big guy took a trip to Chicago where a bank bombing occurred. Not just a normal bombing, Kane detects that the explosion was lateral enough to take out only the floor with the bank lawyers on it and not the entire building. While all other governmental and reporting organizations think it is a terrorist attack, Kane and Cassandra don't find enough clues that add up to say as much. Instead, they follow a different theory.

The bomb had been made with syntex meaning the bomber knew how to make professional explosives, however, it also meant that the bomber had to have an illegal supplier as syntex is not sold at your local Target. They track down the buyer which produces a list of how much of the dangerous chemical was bought.

The illegal dealer also happens to have cameras outside of his legit place of business which Cassandra hacks into and searches for the license plates of the potential buyer. The one clue the seller gave them was that the man had an authentic construction worker city badge given for government demolition jobs like bridges and whatnot. A little cross-referencing and they find the name and bio of the man who built the bomb. Alex makes a trip to the man's house to find a foreclosure sign up outside. As it turns out, the bank that currently owns his house was the same bank that months earlier told him they'd be able to modify his mortgage so he and his family could keep the house after he lost his job--budget cuts. But the lawyers screwed him out of the money by filing the foreclosure paperwork months earlier and milking the family for their last few cents before taking the home. They were going to flip it for a profit.

Not a terrorist but a vigilante, he has a list of people who he thinks should suffer because of what they did to his family. Finding his wife and children living in a cheap motel on the outskirts of Chicago, Alex learns that they tried telling their story to an award-winning blogger. A black woman fully down with this Latino family's struggle, she changes colors when the bank asks her to squash her story in exchange for a lump-sum payment to clear her student loan debt. That just made her the second target on the bomber's list.

Strapping a vest to her chest in an elevator, he shows his face to the elevator cam and sets the bomb to blow a few seconds after he exits into the lobby. So shocked most of the waiting lift passengers were to see the bomb vest that no one dared stop him as he coolly strolled into the crowd and out of the building undetected. Alex arrives just in time and removes the non-booby-trapped vest seconds before it explodes. Pushing aside the fact that it was stated that there was enough syntex to take out the entire lobby of the building, he manages to get up and carry the journalist out to safety. A hero, he has to escape from bloodthirsty reporters as The Player can't be captured or otherwise he no longer is the player. A brief aside revealed that Wesley Snipes used to be a player; in fact, he was the highest rated most favored player in game history. Apparently all pit bosses were at one point players themselves--something for Alex to look forward to and an interesting twist if this franchise ever takes off or is rebooted or something magically allows it to gain more fans.

Back to his pursuit of the bomber, the last name on the list is the CEO of the bank. While the man doesn't set any of the policies and wasn't directly responsible for the predatory and dastardly business practices, just him being a figurehead was more than enough to be blown up in his own house. Alex shows up just in time there too, and talks the bomber out of blowing the man up as the CEO undoes the ropes and tape and escapes out to call the police. The game won without another casualty after the lawyers, Alex gets the guy to go to the police with him, but not without Wesley first blowing up the CEO's house as retribution.

The side story for the night dealt with Snipes' character's past as we learned he grew up in the streets of Chicago but made a name for himself. After visiting an old friend who is also involved with the game thing, his trust for Cassandra is called into question as he is currently keeping secrets from her. When he goes to meet with the man again, he finds him with a slit throat inside of a burial house. Who this man was, who killed him, and who really controls the game are all called into question.

The pursuit for Kane's non-dead dead wife continued too as her mother came into town to settle up what to do with her house. She tells Kane that her daughter was a big liar who kept secrets and he doesn't know what to think of that but grabs a set of keys with her name on them. Meanwhile, Cassandra thought she discovered where Ginnie was but when she arrived at what looked like a safe house, all she found were appliances still left to run as someone had recently left.

At this point, I think the bigger mystery lies within whether this will continue to stay on the air or has any chance of being picked up for another season. With the episode order so short, and the word canceled all but written all over it, I am struggling to keep my interest in a show I think will soon be gone forever. Why they haven't tried moving this show to Tuesday night where it clearly belongs, I will never know, but since they insist on keeping it right where it is, I am already saying my adieus and goodbyes.

What do you think? Have you given up on the show too? Were you ever a fan? Did the show ever sound like a good concept to you? Let me know in the comments below (hint: click the no comments button if you see no comments).

Check out my new comedy novel Yep, I'm Totally Stalking, My Ex-Boyfriend. #AhStalking

If you’re looking for a scare check #AFuriousWind, #DARKER, #BrandNewHome or  #ThePowerOfTen. For those interested in something a little more dramatic, check out #TheWriter. The full first season is out now NOW exclusively on Amazon. If you like fast action crime check out #ADangerousLow. The sequel A New Low will be out in a few months. Join us on Goodreads to talk about books and TV, and subscribe to and follow my blog with that Google+ button to the right side.

Until next time, "it's like they say, don't hate the player, hate the game."

P.S. In this case I think you could hate the NBC scheduling team to put this show on an already packed night. Could the show use some improvements? A lot of them, yes, but not being able to see that it is clearly in the wrong time slot on the wrong day is what is killing this show. Oh well. I'll come up with a better sign-off next time.

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